<p>I second the suggestion of the book “Letting Go.” Helped me a lot when S went off to college (a mere 60 miles away!)</p>
<p>Like the OP’s, my D also tends to rely too much on H and me to make mundane decisions for her, but she has demonstrated growth in this area in the past year or two. </p>
<p>We helped her research and make a college list that included a variety of schools, without paying much attention to distance from home. Now that she has to make a final decision, it’s come down to a college on the other coast or one a 2-hr flight away. We’re very close, and several of my friends have said that they can’t imagine her choosing to go so far away for school. We’ve been waiting patiently while she’s supposedly weighing the choice of college A or college B. The somewhat scary idea of being far away and her tendency for indecision are definitely getting in her way. I think she’ll be fine at either, and that getting a little distance from home will enhance her budding independence. She’d like to study abroad, too, so I think of moving to a new part of the US as preparation for that.</p>