<p>That’s pretty funny, AND!. Just remember you are still here. But tell us, what would you do if you had a child who did not have an aptitude for a STEM subject?</p>
<p>When I made this thread I was very upset with my son. I had many conversations with my son before I made this thread. Conversations that expressed exactly how I felt in a calm and compassionate tone. However, I was fed up with being painted as Mrs. Controlling. That’s not how I want to come off. I want to be realistic! So I came on CC, because I felt that people on here would understand where I stand. However I was attacked and painted as a villain. However, some of you understood me. Thank you ANDS! for grasping my concerns and voicing them, instead of immediately painting me as a controlling and meanspirited individual.</p>
<p>To everyone who said that I called my son “worthless”, how dare you make such awful remarks! Those words would never come out of my mouth! You mean to tell me that every parent who has a disagreement with their child, or feels like their child is making a bad decision, believes their child is worthless? I think NOT! I believe that certain degrees may be worthless (or maybe I should have said worth little) DOES NOT translate to believing my child is worthless.</p>
<p>My child is worth a lot and my child is intelligent! I believe in him, which is why I believe that with proper guidance and tools he can handle a STEM major. I encourage my son to do what he loves, but many people do what they love once they have made a comfortable living for themselves, it’s called a hobby. Even if my son does “make it big” with the arts or something of that sort, then I still want to prepare him for a plan B. I pretty damn good plan B. I want him to be able to pay off his debt, and I want him to be able to have enough money to do many things that he enjoys. If I believed my son was “worthless”, then I would give up on him, and I would say “Oh you can’t handle math or hard sciences, so I am going to give up on you”… That IS NOT what I am saying… I BELIEVE that he can do this. I know he can conquer what ever he wants. I just feel like he is fearful of the unknown. I feel like he is a bit lazy with challenging subjects, but if he gets that block out of his mind, then I feel he would be much more rewarded and proud of himself. </p>
<p>With all of that being said… I have an update. My son is looking at majoring in Business Administration, HOWEVER I have convinced him to become undeclared for the moment and focus on his GE’s… I am trying to save him the stress on worrying about a major, and let him focus on finishing up his Gen Ed in Community College… I told him to promise me that he would do weekly math tutoring on his campus, and to dibble and dabble in some science courses, just to see if he likes it. He told me that he’d do it, and he’s been doing it for the last 3 weeks. He’s still struggling but I see that he is happier when he understands something rather than throwing it away all together. We are making baby steps, but I love him, he’s trying, and I am happy.</p>
<p>mommy, I just looked over all the posts and “worthless” first came up in a post saying something to the effect that if you think your son is worthless without an engineering degree then he is worthless with one. So no one here was calling your son worthless. It was a post (not mine) that was a very poor paraphrasing of what you said. As you just said in this last post, he can be lazy with challenging subjects. So the approach you are now taking is a very reasonable approach. And speaking as one who has giving a few pep talks and has helped with a lot of math and science, I do agree that a child has to make a reasonable attempt before giving up.</p>
<p>@geo1113, yes it was poor paraphrasing indeed. I just saw the word being thrown around and I wanted to adress it, since it was a misquote and taken out of context. I agree with you 10,000 percent about making at least an attempt before saying “I can’t”… That’s my mission, to take the words “I can’t” out of my children’s vocabulary. I believe any difficult subject can be learned if you apply yourself. I also believe that my tough love will make my son a stronger individual. Now am I foolish enough to believe that my son will magically become a math genius? No. However do I think that removing that fear of math and science will open up doors that he never thought could be possible? Yes.</p>
<p>mommy, great point about removing “I can’t” from our children’s vocabulary. Also, you just brought me back to the last time one of my sons said “I can’t.” It was when he was doing football camp before freshman year of high school. I literally had to get him through the next 5 minutes for a couple of days. He never went out for football again, but he made it through the season and was better off for doing so because he did learn he could do things he didn’t think he could do. Come to think of it, it has helped me deal with the “I don’t want to do _________” things too!</p>
<p>@geo1113 Yes it definitely works, because once they know that with hard work that they can conquer something, it gives them confidence to pursue things that they thought they were not capable of. </p>
<p>To everyone… Looking back at the beginning of this thread, I can see where I sounded harsh,ignorant, and judgemental. I’d like to apologize to all the Liberal Arts majors that I offended, because that wasn’t my intent. My intent was to find a way to broaden my son’s mind for fields that could be more lucrative, and to stop him from limiting himself by eliminating math and science out of the equation. I was always taught that math was the key to this world, and I stand firm in that. I am glad that we can speak amicably in this thread without attacking and being vicious.</p>
<p>Mommy1964 - People tend to write posts when they are feeling stressed, upset, desperate, or hurt. So it is understandable. It is also understandable that you have a different outlook on college if you were raised to believe certain things. I don’t know if any of my posts came off harsh or offensive to you, but it’s tough to sit back when people think liberal arts majors are taking the easy road - though some certainly are. </p>
<p>I am glad to hear you are reaching for a middle ground with your son and trying to challenge him. I know the value in taking math/science courses regardless of your major. I hope he does well, and that he finds something to interest him that he can succeed in.</p>
<p>In the end no matter what major or career path your son chooses he’s still your son. Whether he succeeds or fails he’s still your son and your still his mother. You should be there to support him rain or shine. Also it’s his life to. Give him the chance to do what he feels passionate about. And whatever he may choose show your full support whether you agree with it or not.</p>
<p>I agree with most of the posters on here- forcing your son into a major he doesn’t enjoy isn’t the best idea. I understand that money is important, but usually work that someone’s truly passionate about, without an astounding salary, is better than a job that pays well but is tedious or frustrating. You wouldn’t want your son regretting his math or science major all his life. And there are certainly some liberal arts majors that lead to very lucrative careers. Law is one. I’m also highly encouraged to hear your son’s interested in business. MBAs can make a lot of money! I’m just trying to address your concerns. You seem to love your son, and this is a difficult decision to make. But it will pay off later.</p>
<p>I thought you were going to suggest a specific major that was useless, and I may have agreed with you if it was something the outcome was a job like historian or something thereof, but you’re basically saying everything outside math & science is crap, which is honestly insulting. There are so many good majors out there (teaching, design, languages, writing, journalism, film, law, and a lot more, I assure you), that would produce many well-paying jobs. I think your standards are too high, and to you, a good major is something that gives him an extremely high paying job. God forbid he minor in teaching and end up with a $50-$35k teaching job.
Ok, I looked at your comments, and realistically speaking, what do you consider a well paying job? What price range? I understand your concerns for your child but I think you’re being too strict here. It’s not as if your child said " I’m going to be a freelance fine artist", a job with no benefits and no guarantee that it would put some food on the table. He just wants to explore the many different majors outside the math&science field area that bring stable and well-paying jobs all the same.</p>
<p>I thought I wasn’t very good at math, until I applied myself.</p>
<p>Life is too short to put yourself through hell for something you hate</p>
<p>I’m a potential Classics major… And I plan to do everything BUT major in math. Let me explain: At my school, we have to do a capstone project for any major, and what I want to do is take all of the courses required for a math major, without actually declaring it as my major. There you go, a slew of practical skills. While I’m at it, I plan to take Stats and Intro CS just to make sure I’m “in” the hottest trades of our world.</p>
<p>There are many ways to gain practical skills without letting it consume your life.</p>
<p>Mommy1964 -</p>
<p>My parents were a lot like you. In my case, the choice was nursing or nothing. I heard the lectures almost daily; nurses were in demand and made decent money. I was told I could go into any field from there. The problem was, my heart just wasn’t in it. </p>
<p>I dropped out of nursing school twice and then worked a series of fast food and customer service jobs through most of my adulthood. I am now a 37 year old freshman juggling a part-time job, a husband, and two children with my course load. </p>
<p>Be careful about how you push and making ultimatums.</p>
<p>@Impero, why would you complete every course required for a mathematics major without majoring in math? Do you not want to be given the credit that you are due for all of your hard work in completing so many math courses? I wouldn’t complete every required course to earn a degree but not have it awarded to me just to get out of doing a capstone project. It sounds like you might as well declare a double major.</p>
<p>I have not read all of the posts in this thread but I wanted to chime in with my two cents. Let’s think outside of “practicality” for a moment. If you’re criticizing the legitimacy of other majors, let’s thing about those. When you come home from a long day of work, what do you do? Maybe you’ll sit down and turn on the television, maybe you’ll pick up a book or a newspaper, maybe you’ll go out to a nice dinner at a nice restaurant. Well, somebody’s job is to film the shows you watch. Somebody’s job is to act in them. Somebody’s job is to write the things you read. Somebody’s job is to edit them. Somebody’s job is to make the food you eat (when you go to a restaurant). Somebody’s job is to fly the plane you use to go on vacation. Somebody’s job is to run the hotels you stay in when you go on vacation. Let’s say you buy a house. It’s somebody’s job to paint all of the paintings you choose to decorate your walls with. It’s somebody’s job to take photographs of your family for your Holiday card. It’s somebody’s job to take care of your sick dog.</p>
<p>The list can go on and on. The point is, all of these things are things that people take for granted, but they’re things that are viable living careers that have a high demand. Your world is filled with things outside of math, business, and science, and you need to realize that.</p>
<p>Alyssa, that might be one of the best posts I have ever read. I think a lot of the worries that kids and their parents have nowadays is reasonable with the current financial situation we are in. However, there are a lot more jobs that need to be done than just engineer, doctor, or accountant. They may not have as high of a starting salary, but I think most young people can support themselves on 30-40k if they are single and haven’t taken on too much student loan debt.</p>
<p>I believe that you can sell STEM to him without cramming the you are not going to find a job line down his throat. Show him what STEM work is, and how, in my opinion, it is changing the world. I hear about engineers designing electric cars to help decrease carbon emissions, or my chemistry friend working on a treatment for bladder cancer. Show him all the neat new devices Google is working on. Instead of selling STEM as the holy grail for job prospects, try showing your son all the cool, innovate, cutting edge things those fields are working on.</p>
<p>If he still isnt interested, find out what he is interested in. If he wants to take a more liberal arts route, try to help him create and design a map of his future. See if there are internships or co-op programs offered for different fields he may be interested in.</p>
<p>Does he even want to go to college? I personally wish I had of held off on college for a year or two, joined the Americorps and saw what was out there. The Americorps are free, I believe, so he wouldnt be costing you any money, but when he may finish, have a better idea of what he wants.</p>
<p>Mommy, from the sounds of your posts, it seems like your son has anxiety with math and science. Maybe I am jumping to conclusions, but when I first started college, I didnt want to take any math and science. Not because I was lazy, but because I honestly believed I was not smart enough to do well in those courses, not matter how much I studied. I wonder if he feels the same way too.</p>
<p>I know this is an old thread but I wanted to comment that as a spouse of a BSEE, MSEM I don’t believe you can turn someone into an Engineer of any sort who does not have the desire/drive to be one. It is just not a major that someone can just chose because of job opportunities, he’ll some who really want to be engineers can’t hack it. Let your son choose his major, educate him about the opportunities but in the end the choice should be his.</p>
<p>
I used to believe this, but it isn’t really true. Everyone has limits and boundaries on what they can do and learn. Sometimes people think there is a boundary there when they haven’t really reached out and touched it yet, but finding and recognizing the boundaries can be an important part of learning about ourselves.</p>