<p>I’m going to college next week and I’m a bit worried about the dating scene in school, but my issue is a little unorthdox: I want to stop being concerned with all of the girls on the college campus, merely so I can devote most of my thoughts and actions towards my school work and building myself as a better person. </p>
<p>I would say that I’m an above average looking guy (8/10 not to be conceited-minded) and I have had lots of people tell me that I’m going to get tons of girls in school because of my demeanor and all of this stuff. Unfortunately for me though, that has made me think about girls and the possibilities wayyyy to much. What I really want to do is focus on myself and maintain a 3.0 (got a full tuition scholarship; need to keep it).</p>
<p>Please, I’m not joking here…What are some tips to help me keep my mind off of them? I’m very ambitious and can do most things when I put my mind to it, but most of those things are school oriented. Sadly, when it comes to things that aren’t as important (this/girls, also, I’m kind of contradicting myself here lol), I leave in dormant. How to go to school with this mindset of school - A and girls - Z ?</p>
<p>Honestly it will be hard NOT to pay attention to girls in college. <em>ahem</em> no parents around. </p>
<p>Any party you will go to will mostly likely be filled with girls.</p>
<p>So are you trying to avoid girls or just not being in a relationship?
Because to avoid girls you’ll just have to lock yourself in your dorm and never come out. Maybe set up a really busy schedule with some intramurals and other clubs. You might want to avoid a fraternity because where there is a frat party there are girls. </p>
<p>But to avoid a relationship, I can’t really help you out there.</p>
<p>Unless you were only around a 3.0 in high school, or are in engineering or another particularly challenging major, 3.0 is pretty easy to achieve. You’re stressing out way too much. Unless you actively put yourself in a position where you hang out with a lot of girls, you’ll be fine. Hiding in your dorm or the library will help you avoid them, and remembering that you might not be able to continue to attend without your scholarship should help motivate you. </p>
<p>But, really, you shouldn’t worry so much about it. I dated in college since the summer after freshman year, and was still able to maintain my 3.85 GPA requirement for the next 2 (required) years. You just need to keep calm and do what you need to do.</p>
<p>A 3.0 isn’t hard to make. You can achieve that by only slightly caring about your grades, goong to most classes (not all), studying for all your test moderately, and not partying 24/7 (fridays/saturdays and thats it). You’re honestly making a problem out of nothing.</p>
<p>Like my freshman year, I got a 3.8 and I didn’t even do anything. Freshman year is really easy if you study a little bit more than average. All me and my roommate did 70% of the time was talk to girls.</p>
<p>But if you’re in a hard major like engineering or biochemistry, I’m sorry. I am deeply sorry for your loss.</p>
<p>Be like me. Look busy. Say you’re busy. They’ll eventually get the picture. You could always say you’re in a relationship. Then again, I am in a relationship and don’t want to lead girls on.</p>
<p>But if you’re in one of those easy majors…what is there to worry about? </p>
<p>Don’t hide in your dorm. If someone goes too far, you could always be honest and say that you’re serious about school right now and aren’t ready for a relationship. Not yet until you know how much you can manage. No one is going to PRESSURE you into a relationship. </p>
<p>You cannot avoid girls forever…they’re people too. Just be polite.</p>
<p>sooo… im a girl and im wondering do guys really wanna avoid us? thats kinda disheartening knowing that some of the smarter, more attractive, (not conceited?) guys are looking to focus more on school. who does that leave!?! the partiers who don’t wanna commit??? well thats something to look forward too… NOT!</p>
<p>I thought girls stopped having cooties in the 5th grade…?</p>
<p>Seriously though, you’ll be considered super weird. Just because you go to school doesn’t mean you have to be in a super serious OHEMGEEGONNAMARRYHER relationship. That’s what hook ups and casual dating are for.</p>
<p>Bound4aCollege: Of course not. But some people are more concerned with certain things than others are, and we should respect that. College is a great place to meet people and get involved in dating, but the education component is a huge factor in one’s future livelihood, and should not be disregarded for the sake of temporary relationships. I hope the OP can strike a balance between work and play, but we can’t say he’s wrong for placing a strong emphasis on his education over his love interests.</p>
<p>I never said avoid, I love women lol, that’s the last thing I would want to do. However, because of this I merely just want to know any tips that help me focus on myself rather than girls, which, lets face it, is the foundation of social lives for guys.</p>
<p>Gosh people probably think I hate girls now because I want to focus on myself :(</p>
<p>I had vivid imagery of how one might get women disinterested quickly, but I probably shouldn’t say it. </p>
<p>Anyway…you will never be able to entirely focus. Guys like to talk about chicks. I’d suggest hanging around a lot of studious guys though. I mean, the occasional woman would enter the group and we’d pretty much be chatting her up the entire time. But most of the time when things got serious around exams or problem sets were due it’d be entirely about school and regardless if women were present or not.</p>
<p>It’s like getting your driver’s license. For the first 10 miles you want to floor it and do burnouts and roll the window down and show off to everyone.</p>
<p>10 miles later you realize everyone else is also driving a car and kind of go back to thinking about homework and groceries.</p>
<p>I don’t know how else to explain it. Getting really excited and not being able to focus because girls are around you is very temporary though. You’ll get used to it after a few months max.</p>
<p>Stay away from the really sleazy “party girls”. Even if straight out of high school it seems like “Oh my God they’re like those chicks on MTV! I’ve arrived”, you’ll quickly realize they aren’t worth your time. </p>
<p>If you establish a serious relationship with a classy girl I REALLY don’t see how it would negatively affect your studying, it might even help your studying.</p>
<p>Honestly OP I almost think you’d be better off just fooling around every weekend. It’d probably keep your mind off of it during the week. I’ll tell you it has been a very long time since I’ve gotten laid (way longer than what most little whiners mean when they say they’re in a ‘drought’) and it’s on my mind a lot. If I had any game or skill with women I probably wouldn’t think about it much because it wouldn’t be hard to get any.</p>
Unless you actively put yourself in a position where you hang out with a lot of girls, you’ll be fine. Hiding in your dorm or the library will help you avoid them, and remembering that you might not be able to continue to attend without your scholarship should help motivate you. </p>
thats kinda disheartening knowing that some of the smarter, more attractive, (not conceited?) guys are looking to focus more on school. who does that leave!?! the partiers who don’t wanna commit??? well thats something to look forward too…