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<p>First of all, congrats to your son for finding a job he actually likes!</p>
<p>I think it seems doable. It really just comes down to how well your son spends money. </p>
<p>As far as your husband, if your son is going to support himself 100%, then he should keep his mouth closed. If you are going to help your son out, then I can see where he is coming from.</p>
<p>I view it as a gradual progression. I want him to get settled with the job, rent an apartment, and build some savings. Then we can discuss things like him contributing to car insurance and cell phone - which are both bundled in a family plan. He may need some help with initial expenses related to modestly furnishing his apartment, and I am ok with that. </p>
<p>My husband hates his job and I think those feelings are somehow tied to this. I think he resents working long hours at a job he hates to pay for college for a son who is choosing a job he loves over seeking a job with salary as the focus. But this is not exactly a news flash, so I was surprised by the vehemence of his anger.</p>
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<p>Well then I’m with your husband with this one. Your son is old enough and should be mature and responsible enough to pay for all of his expenses. If he can’t pay 100% of his expenses, then he really isn’t living “on his own”.</p>
<p>I don’t think it is that black and white. Many parents help their adult children… Think of all of those who lost jobs in the recession and had to move back home with their parents. As long as he is moving towards financial independence, I am satisfied. If it takes him a few months to be 100% self-supporting, fine by me. We will have to agree to disagree on this one.</p>
<p>RVM: Congrats to your son on getting the job. I’m sorry to hear about your H’s reaction. I think your son is wise to try working in his preferred area of interest while he’s young and has few responsibilities. It’s tough to break into the sports field, so he’s off to a good start. He’ll still have the finance degree from the big name school down the road if he wants to go in another direction.</p>
<p>I also think it’s fine to provide some financial support as you and Mom3college are considering. A lot of families keep recent grads on their cell phone plans and pay auto insurance. We also helped D1 by buying furniture and paying her broker fee and security deposit on her first apartment. By the way, those NC rents are really sweet! My D is paying much more for a bedroom in a walk-up apartment with no A/C in Boston.</p>
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<p>Fair enough. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with you helping your son at all, but your husband (whether he likes the job or not) has a point. I think it will be easier for your son to start living “on his own” now, than later.</p>
<p>We are still paying for the phone and the car insurance and DS is driving our fifteen year old car. I am encouraging him to start saving so that he will have a down payment when that car dies and will already have money in his budget for a car payment. He was fortunate in that he got a $2500 signing bonus that pretty well covered what he needed to furnish his first place. He’s paying twice what your son is for a one bedroom apartment that is just a bit better than his student rentals. For him the luxury comes from having a place to himself.</p>
<p>What my kids wouldn’t give for a 1BR apt in a gated community with a pool for $600/month!</p>
<p>I would see helping him furnish his apt as a one-time gift. How much you’re willing to help him with other expenses, and for how long, is certainly something for you and your husband to decide. </p>
<p>Your son’s budget may be tight, but, with such low rent, he should be OK.</p>
<p>woody - did not mean to overlook your post. I would suggest she email the other firm with the truth - she has already accepted another offer and wants to honor that commitment - but remains very interested in working for the firm in the future. And then she should stay in touch - perhaps sending an updated resume to her point of contact a year from now - to see what openings they might have at that time. Best of luck to her!</p>
<p>Thanks rvm. Yes, that’s what she was thinking…honesty is the best policy. Plus, the NYC place is fairly intense. I think she wants to get her sea legs first before diving in.</p>
<p>I completely understand what you’re saying about your husband hating his job and perhaps a bit resentful of S’s taking a job he loves…oh, boy, do I understand that one!</p>
<p>RVM…congrats to your son. I agree that this is the time to take some risks, especially if it’s doing a job he would love. Keep him on your cell family plan–like many others do. Also, check to see if you can keep him on your family health insurance, even though he does get benefits with his new job. We are able to do this when our firstborn (still have 2nd in college) got her first job last year. We just ask that she stashes what her insurance would have cost her, so when she does carry her own insurance, she’ll be able to cover deductibles, etc… This works with our health plan and with her company…but not all companies allow, so please check it out. She’s able to save $200+ a month by doing this. </p>
<p>(BTW, I think your H is by H’s twin. And H wonders why S calls me often, and H, not so much…such a killjoy.)</p>
<p>Yes, we are keeping him on our insurance as well. We have family coverage, so dropping him would not change the rate that we pay. He is meeting with HR on Monday to do paperwork, and I suggested he only take their insurance if it free. If it costs anything, not to take it.</p>
<p>And H as a killjoy - perfect description!</p>
<p>Rockvillemom - I’m not sure if the rules are different for insurance where you work or perhaps it may be different for a child under the age of 26. But every year my husbands insurance makes me fill out a form that states I do not work for a place that offers health insurance… I would check just to make sure…</p>
<p>As far a your son’s salary, I didn’t even tell my parents what I was making at my first job out of college. If my kids want to tell us when they graduate them fine but it’s really their call. Hopefully your husband will come around. If your son is happy that’s all that really matters.</p>
<p>We have a family plan, but since our son (‘13 grad) has health insurance available through his new employer, then he is can not remain on our family plan … according to HR rep from my husband’s company. YMMV</p>
<p>cross posted with MichiganGeorgia</p>
<p>Thank you both for the insurance info - I will check on that tomorrow.</p>
<p>Yes, we were pleasantly surprised and got written confirmation that S could remain on H’s family plan until he turned 26, even tho his employer would pay most of premiums if he wanted to get insurance. It will be a qualifying event when he turns 26, and he can purchase a plan then.</p>
<p>We’re on board with the risk taking young adult method in our house.
Our son has two degrees in music/education. We encouraged him to pursue a performing path while young and unencumbered. We would continue him on car and health ins and invite him to live at home if he wanted.</p>
<p>He surprised us a bit by landing a FT teaching position and moving into a shared house near us instead. He plays on weekends and summers, has savings since his expenses are low and is loving life.
I do think most do (and should) figure it out mostly on their own.</p>
<p>rockville – my D is also making a small entry level salary but the job has benefits and is with a major national firm – great opportunity – I am subsidizing health ins., cell phone, gas $$, and part of the rent… Am I disappointed that her first job is not something more substantial? Hard to say – D has so little experience that I am surprised she was offered this job. Maybe your H is not as familiar with the difficulty out on the job market for new grads and for anyone really.</p>
<p>I just checked with my health plan re keeping D on policy even though she will be eligible for coverage through her employer – this is from Anthem at my job.</p>
<p>As mentioned, my parents did not help me out and it led to some decisions and actions that were not safe. So I am assisting D. </p>
<p>How long can my children remain covered?</p>
<p>For plan years beginning on or after September 23, 2010, it has been our policy that children can remain on their parent’s health plan until the end of the month they turn 26. Some self-insured plans or state mandates require us to administer to a different time period or age. We always recommend that you check your plan specifics. Additionally, a dependent is defined as a child of the subscriber or participant who is under the age of 26. Financial dependency on or residency with the subscriber or participant is not required. Additionally, there is no requirement to be unmarried, student, employed or any combination of these factors. Plans are also required to provide access to coverage regardless of a dependent’s eligibility for other coverage, except for grandfathered group plans prior to 2014. For these grandfathered plans, groups may choose to exclude coverage for children under a parent’s policy if they are eligible for their own employer sponsored coverage. For states or plans that cover other children (i.e., step children, children of domestic partners, etc.), that definition will not change.</p>
<p>My S is a little older than all of yours and is looking for a fulltime job with little success. He already has a masters degree and has been working at a 4/5 time paid internship in the financial services industry for the last six months. He’s not the most aggressive person when it comes to job seeking, but he needs to leverage the experience he has into a fulltime position somewhere. The place of his current internship has no positions for him at the moment, which of course he has been hoping would materialize. He has the total support of those at his current internship and will have wonderful references. They have also offered to reach out to others in the industry for him. However, he has had horrible experience with “black box application drops” and believes the only way he will find a job is through connections. While that may be true, I think he has to at least try the search the postings and apply everywhere method. He is living at home, but pays for all his own expenses. I’ve read this thread with interest and am wondering what has worked best for your kids. When you say they are contacted by recruiters through LinkedIn, do you mean they have posted their resumes, or recruiters just ■■■■■ looking for keywords in profiles? I’ve recommended that he join all the groups in his preferred industries and think he should post his resume - do you agree? Any advice would be much appreciated - FWIW, his BA is in Anthropology and his MA is in Political Science with a concentration in Security and Diplomacy. Right now he thinks his ideal job would be as an analyst in a financial services firm that works/specializes in emerging or frontier markets.</p>