<p>Rockvillemom…he has a plan! That is great…mine was waiting for the magical employer to pop by with a tailor made job to suit his interests and pay requirements. I went through the whole gamut of helpful hints and links, laying down the expectations, reminding him of the deadline of the impending end of our financial assistance and being understanding and comforting, ably assisted by copious amounts of wine. He is now working and paying his rent and expenses and growing…but there were some hard months! Also exacerbated by older sister who lie JHS’s was super organised and motivated and got a job in a matter of weeks.</p>
<p>JHS. Oh dear. </p>
<p>Our oldest was easy though he’s as uncommunicative as they come. Job offer from internship fall of senior year. </p>
<p>I anticipate younger son will be more interesting. Communication comes and goes, but he’s apt to blow up if he thinks he knows more than we do about his field. This spring he’s in a junior year abroad program that’s highlight was supposed to be an internship, only he didn’t like any on their list so he was considering just taking another course. We had a very fraught conversation about why any internship would be better than taking another course. It didn’t seem to be sinking in, so we sent an e-mail apologizing for getting over-excited, but also listing again why he should do an internship. Next thing we hear (a week later), he’s gone looking for other internships and has two interviews, do we have advice? I’m sure job interviews will run along the same lines. He’s in a field where jobs aren’t easy to find, but most work a few years before grad schools. The one plus is that he should be pretty competent in Arabic by the end of this year.</p>
<p>I think it’s great that your son has communicated a plan and is asking for your trust so that he can take a chance and follow a dream. He sounds like someone who will be successful. </p>
<p>I have a senior graduating this year and the best word I can use to describe her is “overwrought.” She is working madly to network and apply to a host of jobs but she really isn’t sure what it is she’s looking for and she hasn’t gotten beyond the first interview stage anywhere yet. If anything we get too much information about each and every prospect at each stage. I’m not sure I need to hear quite so much. I’m impressed that she’s trying as hard as she is and I’m sure she will find something eventually. The harder challenge is to reassure her that she isn’t a failure if it takes some time to find a job.</p>
<p>Well, we pushed a bit… Insisted that s3 attend the college fair, wear a suit, wear a suit to the interview (he had to check the internet to discover Mom was right on that one). Sent links, etc. (note this is after surviving job searches with s1 and s1. We learned a thing or two).</p>
<p>Now he’s got an offer. He’s in a “hot” field. He likes the work, the people he’d be working with, and the salary is in line with the industry. But now he’s got cold feet about moving. The job is in our state, only a few hours from home, and just a couple of hours from his college town and friends (many of whom aren’t graduating yet).</p>
<p>Of course I worry about his starting out all on his own, but I know he can do it. We all have. His brothers both found jobs locally, and they are very close. That may be part of his reluctance. But even in this “hot” field (software engineering), he’s not drowning in offers, and the sequester has made defense companies slow down their hiring. </p>
<p>I also think he’s a bit reluctant to start his life as a grownup. </p>
<p>Did your kids take their first offer? Did they feel this way?</p>
<p>Thanks for listening and letting me vent. Any words of advice are welcome.</p>
<p>First job offer, end of March. Yea he needs to take it and be done. He can work there for a year and if he hates it he can interview next year.</p>
<p>Dd has informed us that she is going to grad school so no senior year job search. I am glad she has a plan in place.</p>
<p>Mom2, I think he should take the job. There no guarantee that a better one will turn up. My D got a great offer but didn’t get her first choice for location. It’s working out very well, although she still thinks the grass might be greener elsewhere. She has built up a social network between work and HS and college aquaintances who landed in the same city. Your son should let everyone in his network know where he’s moving to try to find potential roommates and friends.</p>
<p>Take my experience for what it’s worth. DH hires recent college grads for a two year job. These young adults are fantastic, do great work, and are very successful professionally. They ALL have some difficulty adjusting to the lack of a social life following college. These are people who were very involved in college, and so the difference between life then and now is pretty harsh. By the end of the second year, none want to leave the job because they have adjusted, but that first year seems to be rough for many of them. </p>
<p>And let’s face it - when will life EVER be as good as it was in college??? Friends, food, activities galore? Sounds good to me.</p>
<p>What would he do if he didn’t take the job? Come home and sleep on your couch? I don’t think he has a choice, unless he has another offer.</p>
<p>Ugh…I am here as well. DS graduates this year and wants to be…wait for it…a television reporter. Sigh. He’s never going to find a job.</p>
<p>DS1 studied tv journalism (the major is named something else, but that’s what it is). He’s teaching math now.
Good luck to your DS. It’s rough out there.</p>
<p>Suit? For a software engineering job?!</p>
<p>But congratulations to him. </p>
<p>I think he should probably take the job unless he has reason to think other offers are in the works. Even then he probably shouldn’t ask them to wait long.</p>
<p>I always ended up taking the only jobs I was offered. My older son also took the job he was offered and didn’t look elsewhere, but he’d been an intern there over the summer. We were both thrilled for him (dream job), but sad, because it’s on the other coast. We need to make it an excuse to visit him more often!</p>
<p>If anyone (intparent) feels the need to tell me how “good your daughter is about doing this on her own”, well goody for you. But I came here to grieve, wring hands with, vent, and share hints with my colleagues who are worrying about the same thing…. Now what?</p>
<p>My son is stressed out to the MAX. He can’t even talk to me about the job hunt because then he’ll bang his head into the wall that it hasn’t happened yet. Fortunately, my husband helps by sending him links and guidance. He’s been home for nearly a week, without any luck. He’s worried, but I’m not. He went to a good school. His gpa is fine. Has terrific internship experience. I reminded him to stop getting so stresed about these things; it will happen.</p>
<p>dkitty: think positive. Encourage him to start in a really local cable news show to build his experience. They have to hire someone; why not him?</p>
<p>Limabeans- may I ask what’s your son’s major?</p>
<p>Gosh, My oldest starts college in the fall. I guess I’m hoping that he will find a job before he graduates. I’m not sure he will want my input on his job search. However if he has to move back home for a while it’s really no big deal to us.(maybe it will be to him though…) When I graduated from college I moved back home , had a full time job at a grocery store. I took me 6 months to find my first “real” job and I lived at home for a full year after that to save up money. My parents stayed out of my job search and no I did not pay them any rent. My brother and sister did the same thing when they graduated…Being able to save our money for that time we lived at home really helped.</p>
<p>Lima, I’m not allowed to discuss his job search. When I bring it up he leaves the room. lol He has great internships and presents himself well, so one can hope. And he is willing to go anywhere. It just seems that no one wants to train anyone. They all want them to have experience already. Hopefully, his internships will count as experience and someone will hire him because, although he is welcome to come home, he doesn’t really want to. And he is noisy and messy so I’m not sure I want him to either. :)</p>
<p>Lima and DKitty -
FWIW, all three of my sons have HATED the process: update a resume, put ALL your info on a website (again), write a position-specific cover letter, rinse and repeat, and hear NOTHING. I have ended up helping with cover letters, as well as the slog online. My rationalization was that it would be the interview that would get him the job, not any help I gave. If I helped to get him to that point, well, so be it. I know that they should be motivated and go-getters and do it all themselves. But the reality is, with tough final semester courses and interim jobs, etc., if I could help, I did.</p>
<p>FWIW, since nagging doesn’t work (and don’t I know it!) maybe letting them know that you empathize with the drudgery of the process, and that you are willing to help in any way you can could get a conversation started. </p>
<p>It’s so stressful. I think the internet makes it better and worse. Clearly there are more opportunities to apply, but the pressure is to apply to them all. So now you have hundreds or even thousands of applicants for every job. In the old days, my options were what my college’s career center was showing. Or the want ads. Fewer jobs showing, but less pressure to apply to dozens of jobs.</p>
<p>Anyway, let them know that you know how stressful and unpleasant this is. (unless your kid loves it - mine sure did NOT). And, if they come home, set a deadline for gainful employment - of any kind. It’s great to find that perfect first college grad job, but the search can go on while you’re working at Walmart.</p>
<p>Hang in there. I have 2 off the payroll, and the third is probable. A lot of gray hair in the interim, but it does happen.</p>
<p>How true is this: A parent is only as happy as her unhappiest child.</p>
<p>Sigh.</p>
<p>Yeah. I hesitate to bring up job search because I want DD focusing on getting her degree. We secretly hope and have casually asked her about her job search but have only gotten vague, “yeah, yeah” and no details, sadly. She has gotten one PT job at her U entirely on her own. We can help support her for some time after she graduates, so we are just nodding and smiling. Will see her and brother at Easter. :).</p>
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<p>I think that’s what my S is waiting for. Unfortunately, he’s also apparently waiting for the internship fairy. He’s supposed to graduate in July, but can’t graduate without an internship. He hasn’t even applied for an internship yet! :mad:</p>
<p>I also have a “magical employer” D. She seems to think that if she doesn’t land her dream job right out of college, then the only alternative is McDonalds. Nothing in between. Several times over the years, I’ve tried to plant the idea that few newly-minted grads get their dream job right off the bat, that the thing is to get in the door and start making your mark, etc. We’ll see if the seed grew. </p>
<p>I feel for these kids. It wasn’t anything like this when I was their age.</p>