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<p>Can’t you buy a house in a Peru for $1,000? ;)</p>
<p>All kidding aside, I think a lot of parents enable their children. I have seen it a lot in my family. I didn’t even get $1,000 at graduation. The day after my last college class, I was expected to pay 100% of my expenses. I was given $0 to “get on my feet”.</p>
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<p>That’s a great quote, but how long is too long? I know some parents who’s children have lived with them for 1-2 years after college without doing anything. Why? Because the parents enable them and give them money.</p>
<p>I do like that quote.</p>
<p>I know many families have their college grads come back and live at home - while looking for a job - to save money, etc. I do not think that will work well for us. I’d rather help him financially as long as he is working at least part-time and have him remain living on his own. I just wish I saw more enthusiasm from him about this next stage of his life. I’m not sure what I see - apathy? Denial? I don’t know how to help or what to do/not do. This is really stressful.</p>
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<p>If you’re helping him out financially, he’s not exactly “living on his own”. </p>
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<p>My advice would be to let him figure out things on his own and stay out of it since he tells you nothing.</p>
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<p>You see a young adult who is uncertain and somewhat scared about what the next stage of his life is… and he doesn’t want to talk about it. </p>
<p>It is not your job hunt, so there is no reason for you to be stressed out. (Either he will find a job right away or he won’t, but either way it is outside of your control.)</p>
<p>Just be very clear with yourself and with him as to what your own expectations are post-graduation, in terms of any financial support you are willing to give.</p>
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<p>I think you have unrealistic expectations. How can he have a “plan” if he doesn’t yet know where is is working?</p>
<p>My daughter heard back from her first employer the day of her graduation. She had no clue where she was going to live-- she ended up moving in temporarily for one month with friends with an agreement to pay a fair share of the rent, and that ended up being extended when it turned out that the other two people living in the house decided they really like having her there. </p>
<p>My son graduated without a job, but he had some job interviews set up locally, so he packed up his car and brought all of his stuff home. One agency where he interviewed then told him that they did not have a position for him locally, but asked if he was willing to relocate. He said yes – they wanted him to start right away – so within 10 days of his graduation he was on a plane off to the opposite coast. (I sold his car and sent him the money). He found a room on Craigslist.</p>
<p>Things will work out. Most 22-year-olds can find places to stay temporarily without parental help, even if they are sleeping on a friend’s couch for several weeks. </p>
<p>But even if they don’t work out – it is your son’s problem, not yours. You should not view yourself as the person who needs to fix things. You are his mom and if you say something along the lines of, “let me know if you need any help financially” – he will know that he can call if he needs a helping hand. (That doesn’t mean that you should plan on sending him a big check every month if he can’t find work – just figure out what you are comfortable with and budget accordingly.)</p>
<p>I honestly think the best thing a parent can do is express confidence and faith in their kid. That is, it doesn’t help a young person if their own parents don’t seem to think that anyone will hire them.</p>
<p>I would just add to the above – the majority of employers (and most job openings) are not recruiting from or interviewing on college campuses, and do not interview candidates for jobs that will start months down the line. Rather, most job postings are by employers who want someone to start right away, or at least within a 2-3 weeks. So it’s very difficult to line up work while still in school. The landscape changes significantly around the time of graduation-- when your son will change from being a “student” looking for a promise of post-graduation job, to a job applicant with a college degree who is ready to start work immediately. It may or may not be the job that your son has in mind as he is now looking – but the point is he should be able to find something that will pay the bills fairly quickly.</p>
<p>Thank you, that was actually very helpful. I am going to step back and just see what happens over the next few weeks. As you said, it’s not MY job hunt. I don’t know that I can stop worrying, but what you wrote made a lot of sense. Thank you.</p>
<p>Good advice parents. My son is just a freshman so I am taking notes. :)</p>
<p>I thought that the graduating from college and finding a job phase was really stressful. At least in picking a college I felt like I had some control in. And they had someplace to go. </p>
<p>When they were graduating I felt that I had no control and no idea of what was going to happen next. The kids were adults but I still had some financial responsibility for them. The only control I felt was that the kids were trying and working hard.</p>
<p>This time last year, we had no idea what our D was going to do. She was graduating in a STEM field and interviewing like crazy but no offers. I felt very out of control. What were we going to do? Where was she going? Was it worth it to move her home? What was my H going to say? Ugh! I don’t even want to think about it. We were not one of the lucky ones who had a job offer in hand after her summer internship. And to make matters worse, my family was driving me crazy. They wanted to come to graduation, maybe! Could I drive my mother? Was my other child going to be able to get off work and come? I seriously wanted to strangle someone. I had no ideas and could make no plans because we had no idea what was going to happen. Oh and her lease was up 10days after graduation.</p>
<p>One week before graduation, she got a verbal offer. She had to bug them but they finally sent her a formal written offer the weekend of graduation. We came into town and D made a few appointments to look at apartments. She liked one and signed the papers. We had to find a bank and get a cashiers check for the security and first months rent. Thankfully the job was not far from the college and her boyfriend moved her or we would have had to come back 10 days later to move her. </p>
<p>It’s great now. D has a job she loves, an apartment she loves and this is only a distant memory.</p>
<p>I wouldn’t panic. My D’s experience was the same. Most jobs she applied for wanted someone to start right away. I was also surprised that she would have two or even three interviews with a company, but they would never get back to her, even after promsing to let her know one way or the other. She did a couple of internships in human resources, so she knew how to do an application and interview, but the companies didn’t! When she finally did get an offer, at first she was suspicious, after having hit so many brick walls. Perserverance is the key.</p>
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<p>This also happened to S. I always said that if that is the way a company treats people you probably wouldn’t want to work for them. As he waited to hear from the last company, who had indicated that they’d be sending an offer, I said “This must be driving you crazy.” He said “No. I’m used to it.”</p>
<p>I wouldn’t be too hard on the human resource department. Like many corporate departments they have had to do more with less people. People leave and they don’t get replaced so others have to pick up more and more work. My H hires people, he doesn’t always know what HR is doing and it’s not a reflection on how he runs his department. He does understand what it is like to be short staffed. </p>
<p>Also with the Internet there are many more people applying and too few jobs still. Also much of the work they used to have administrative assistant to take care of, they have to do themselves. It’s not an excuse, it is the reality of modern day corporate life.</p>
<p>Son had an interview last week. He was told they had one spot left to fill and still had others to talk to, but that they’d let him know by the end of the week. As the end of the week passed, and he has to make a decision soon, he sent emails to both last week’s interviewer and the interviewer from a month ago. Last week’s interview responded right away, no job offer. The month ago interviewer hasn’t responded to two follow up emails, sent right after the interview and then two weeks later. Should son still hold out hope for the interview from a month ago, or should he just assume that since they haven’t responded to the follow up emails, that he’s off the list?</p>
<p>I would send one last email, or even better try to call, and then cross that one off the list. I know these HR departments are busy, but these are people who got interviews who are waiting to hear, not just applicants.</p>
<p>My son has a great resume of internships and wrote a wonderful cover letter. He wants to work in broadcast journalism, so it’s really tough. If a job says they want experience, can he count his internships as experience? Or is that cheating? No one wants to hire entry level in his field.</p>
<p>deb922 - that’s how I feel. I hate the unknown and the uncertainty.</p>
<p>Yes, internships count as experience. </p>
<p>Having at times waited for travel reimbursements totaling thousands of dollars I am less forgiving of understaffing and view it as a red flag to applicants. Unfortunately the job market being what it is our new graduates usually don’t have the luxury of picking and choosing.</p>
<p>Pretty much all companies understaff these days.</p>
<p>I wish them all luck in finding jobs.</p>
<p>Don’t be afraid to start low and work your way up.</p>
<p>Sent from my DROID BIONIC using CC</p>
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<p>It could be worse–at least you know he’s going to graduate. I haven’t heard from my S since the middle of March, when he was failing one of his required classes. Apparently he’s not speaking to me because I told him we expected him to be self-supporting after summer school is over in July. Didn’t even hear from him on my birthday. :(</p>
<p>Oh dear. I am sorry to hear that. This really is a tough stage, more so than I anticipated.</p>