I’ve been reading this thread but haven’t had to time until now to post. It’s clear just reading through these personal stories that parents can really hinder siblings relationships and sometimes resentment happens no matter what the intentions truly are. Communication is so important. My parents were young and hard working and I feel that what they did for me and my brother was fair but not necessarily equal. I’ve done the same for mine. How could it be equal with different needs? I have one launched and when we visit we pay for a lot but not everything. If we invited him and his GF on a trip we would pay. I do more for his sister because she is in school. She may require a little help after graduation and I’ve told her I will provide for that because I know she is hard working. My S did not need that assistance. Two different career opportunities. I’m very blessed that the man I’m dating and I have similar philosophies. We want to be able to help when needed. Never is the intention to provide continual financial support.
I witnessed my ex-H’s mother create issues among her 4 children. None were close. It was difficult to watch and after knowing her for 25+ years I understood where in her childhood she learned to behave that way. My family’s dynamic although NOT perfect and full of issues was always supportive and loving and not full of envy.
Money would seem to complicate every issue unless it is handled well. I expect nothing from my parents when they are gone. They have helped me when I have needed it and I will help them as they age and are in need.
My brother is one of my closest and dearest friends. I will always be most thankful for this relationship. It’s been a good model for my two.