How well do you know your neighbors? Do you know their names? Talk to them if you see them out? Hang out? Did you grow up in a neighborhood where everyone knew everyone else?
We have lived in this house almost 20 years. If I think of the 10 neighbors closest to our house I know about half of them pretty well - by name, to talk to - I’m not a hanging out kind of person! But I think that’s kind of awful - half of them I don’t know their name and might not even know them in a crowd!
I think growing up I/we probably knew everyone on our street - by name, their dogs/cats names, which house they belonged to.
I was thinking about this because we had a new bike/walk trail open in our neighborhood. Some people are whining about it, but in general it’s great! You see lots of people out, everyone is friendly and smiling - I think a great thing for the neighborhood!
So maybe in addition, what kind of things get your neighbors out and about and seeing each other? Especially when the days of being active together with kids/school is over.
I know my neighbors on both sides extremely well and the couples in the three houses across the street from us. We socialize together often.
I also know everyone on my block by name.
My neighbors across the street had a meet your neighbors party at their house last summer and invited the whole street. About 3/4 came. Everyone had a great time. They made a mini street and we took a group picture of everyone standing in front of where their houses would be.
My town has a new lovely rail trail going through it. It’s fantastic and there are always people using it. Why would anyone whine about there being a trail?
There are only 14 houses on our street. I know all of my neighbors, and in addition see them often. We also celebrate special events with them…baby showers, weddings, graduations, etc.
Our old neighborhood was HUGE. We knew the neighbors immediately surrounding our house, and across the street…and folks who had kids the same age as ours.
@intparent regarding that bike trail…around here, proximity to the bike trails has increased those property values! Folks actually put that perk in their real estate listing! Yes…folks whined here too…but not anymore!
^^Yes to all that regarding the trail! These trails are proven to increase neighborhood desirability and value - it’s the people who live along the trail - so their “backyard” -even though its not really that close to their house and the trail space never belonged to them anyway - who are complaining they have lost privacy. I get that to a point - but people on the trail (myself included) really aren’t that tuned in to looking at the yards - actually I’m probably MORE noisy when I’m walking past the front of your house!
But anyway, hope to see and get to know more neighbors a bit because of the trail. Hope the newness of it doesn’t wear off and keep people inside again.
We don’t know our neighbors well at all. When our children were growing up, we did, because we knew the parents of the other children on our street. But now, as empty nesters, we have almost no contact with the neighbors, many of whom are different people than the ones who lived here when our kids were kids.
If we had something like a trail here, though, it might be different.
I know the names of immediate neighbors, but don’t really talk to them. DH is out in the yard more than me, so he’s more likely to talk to them. We don’t socialize with our neighbors. We knew more of the people in the neighborhood when we had kids who played together, or who we’d see at the school bus stop. Many of them are gone.
My neighborhood is much more the “wave as you drive past people” kind of place. I envied other friends in our town whose neighborhoods were friendlier.
I don’t socialize with my neighbors (just because I’m kind of a loner) but I know all of them immediately nearby and can name or identify many in the area, mainly because I walk my dog, a lot, and keep my eyes open for what’s going on around me as I do so.
I know the first names of our immediate neighbors, and last name of one neighbor. I do not know the neighbors across the street (busy, loud street). We don’t socialize with our neighbors, although everyone seems like good people.
It is VERY different than what I experienced as a kid, where everyone knew everyone, there were block parties, etc.
Despite having lived here for 18 years, we are not plugged into our neighborhood or community. Both H & I work unconventional hours and when not working, we like to retreat.
I’ve lived in an apartment building for about 18 months in a pretty lively mixed use neighborhood. I know my immediate apartment neighbors, one quite well (retired woman with two charming dogs – we have drinks together, watch each other’s places, etc). I know some neighborhood people from water exercise classes that I run into walking at the lake a block away, too.
Funny story about the young couple next door. Two weeks ago I managed to lock myself out of my apartment while shaking out my feather duster. I knocked on their door to ask them to call our property manager. Once they had, I asked if I could borrow something to read out in the floor’s courtyard garden while I waited for him. They looked at each other, and she said, “Um…we’re millenials – we have Kindles and iPads, but I don’t think we own any actual books.” They scrambled and came up with one – Sheryl Sandberg’s “Lean In”, which I started and returned when the prop manager arrived.
I grew up in apartment buildings and believe that my parents had a wider network of friends in our building and the ones nearby than I do than in my single family neighborhood. We have been here 20 years. Until 2 years ago, I had a hate-hate relationship with the woman across the street, who moved in one year after me. She called the cops on me when my MIL parked in front of the fire hydrant one Easter morning; she was 80 and could still drive but didn’t walk well so she would park by the hydrant, come in and H or I would go out and move her car. My neighbor literally called the cops in the 5 minutes it took for her to get out of the car. Although I beat the ticket, after that I used to have one of the kids wait outside till they saw her and alert me. I called the water police on her when she watered on the wrong day during a drought. I took video and she didn’t beat the ticket. I called the cops when I caught her sons dealing drugs out of the house. She left her H (a very nice man) for a woman and they divorced shortly after. My son delivers mail to the ex-H’s new house now and says he is much happier. So am I that she’s gone. Until she left, my dogs howled every time she went in and out of her house…
Other than that, my neighborhood is rotating through again and the new neighbors have little kids. I know them to say hi or bye or wave if I see them at the train but I don’t socialize with them. I wish I could move back to an apartment building.
Woo boy. Once upon a time I knew all of our neighbors. But my cul de sac is one with the cheapest houses in a neighborhood that is districted to great schools. So the houses tend to turn over as families upgrade to bigger homes or kids leave home or adults retire or start looking for empty nest housing. A few of my neighbors are original owners, but many of the homes around me have turned over. There are four homes near me where the owners have been there longer than we have. All are empty nesters headed towards retirement. Nine others have turned over once or twice. Most of the turnover is to highly educated first generation immigrants with extended families who don’t speak much English and who are not interested in socializing. The kids are, But the adults are not.
And now that we are empty nesters ourselves we live different lives. I’m not outside hanging around while the little ones bike and play. We don’t know our newest neighbors at all, other than to say hi and talk about the weather. Most of the newer neighbors are dual income commuters. The adults hanging around outside watching the kids tend to be a revolving set of nannies or non-English speaking grandparents. Honestly in several homes I’m not positive who the parents actually are.
Re-reading my post I sound really negative. I don’t mean to. We are happy, and understand changing neighborhood demographics. My neighbors keep their homes well maintained, the kids are delightful, and the adults are fine people. My newer neighbors include Immigrants from Russia, China, and Korea. Everyone is busy and there isn’t much socializing.
We had many friends when the kids were growing up. They all moved away, and since the kids are gone we don’t know the new ones very well. We talk in the front yard sometimes, but it’s not like before.
Our block is rapidly getting younger, I’ve met most of the younger people, but I don’t remember all their names. I know the neighbors on the left (First and Last name, plus ex, can’t remember the daughter’s name, or the various people who rent rooms from her.) Know the older woman on the right, have been introduced multiple times to the grandkids and daughter who visit frequently. Know the two people across the street. One, I co-wrote the elementary school newsletter with. The other I only know the name. There’s an elderly couple also across the street that I talk to occasionally. I’ve knocked on everyone’s door because I deliver the neighborhood newsletter and we keep trying to get more people to get the emailed version. I’m good friends with three families on the next block over and have done some architectural work for several people on that block as well.
I know a good number of neighbors since I run outside in the 'hood and raised two kids here. I can tell my friends are getting older and moving away and I am not meeting all the new, young families.
We have a dining out group and invite everyone who lives here to join us as they are able. We’d like to have a block party. There have been a series of dining out/mothers night groups since I have lived here that haven’t been so much based on the neighborhood as on friend groups here. We have two book clubs, one that is open to everyone and one that is a smaller group of friends. We have a National Night Out pot luck. I am a pretty quiet, nerdy person, but I have lived here a long time and have a strong sense of duty despite my social awkwardness, so I host some of these activities.
I would love a bike trail. Our subdivision isn’t so big, but is spread out enough that I don’t see all the runners/walkers/bike riders/dog walkers. If we had a trail, I would.
I’m on a weird triangle piece of land so no one is in front of me. To the one side is a woman I’ve known since high school. On the other side is a dentist office of the dentist I had gone to for most of my life.
I agreed to watch my neighbor’s baby daughter when I was in high school for a weekend… and she ended up being gone for well over a week. So that was the last time I babysat. The only real interaction I’ve had since then is having to call the cops when her boyfriend’s dog attacked mine for the 2nd time.
The dogs roam free since they don’t have a fence so we hear them screaming for the dogs at all hours of the night… and they’re only about 30 feet from a major road.
There is sometimes a neighborhood block party. I’ve never gone.
We have never been friendly with neighbors. After a minor earthquake I went to the three widows who live next to us and two across the street to make sure that they were ok. The orthodox family…nod hello. One famous actress lived on our street for several years. Heat wave or no she bundled up and ran from her car to her house. We knew she was there and didn’t care. Woman has a great ego and no reality. Other than that…no interest.
We live on a private road so we HAVE to interact with our neighbors to figure out snowplowing, repairs, etc. That is a good and bad thing! Some of them are wonderful, others are nuts. We probably get along least well with the people directly across the street.
We’ve lived in a great neighborhood for 20 years and know mostly all of our neighbors. Most have been here longer than we have althought there’s been more turnover in the last few years. But it’s fun to have little kids and babies around again!
We have annual neighborhood block parties and when the kids were younger also used to have a Halloween parade and party and progressive dinner party. We have a great book club too that’s been going on for about 15 years or so. Everyone goes to graduation parties and we’re now onto kids weddings! The kids all grew up running around outside after school and during summer there was always someone to play with. We’ve actually got new neighbors moving in now in a house that just sold. I’m looking forward to meeting them!
My husband has observed that we have lived with some of our neighbors longer than we lived with our siblings. This neighborhood is extremely cordial. We have block parties and backyard barbecues. We hang out. When my husband and daughter were looking at something on her car that needed fixing recently, three or four neighbors strolled over to opine. There is always someone to talk to or bring in your mail when you’re out of town or go to the movies. Or not, if you’re not into that. I am.
I knocked on their door to ask them to call our property manager. Once they had, I asked if I could borrow something to read out in the floor’s courtyard garden while I waited for him. They looked at each other, and she said, “Um…we’re millenials – we have Kindles and iPads, but I don’t think we own any actual books.” They scrambled and came up with one – Sheryl Sandberg’s “Lean In”, which I started and returned when the prop manager arrived.