We would never have a book club because we know we are more interested in talking about this and that than in discussing a book we all read at the same time. We do pass books around, though, and discuss them informally sometimes.
There are only 3 houses near me (1.5 acre minimum restriction). I truly cannot stand my closest neighbor, we share a private road to our two houses but he was the first house here and doesn’t share well. The neighbor nearest him is bipolar and has other mental issues. Our two boys were the same age and her son spent alot of time with us. I was friendly for a bit with her but she was very outspoken and we disagreed on too many issues and so I started avoiding her. My favorite neighbors were an elderly couple closest to me who passed about 5 years ago within a couple years of each other. The new owner has made it a weekly summer rental. So now I get to stay up at night and worry about the idiots who don’t put out their firepit before they go to bed. So, in a nutshell, I wave as I drive by but I don’t really know my neighbors and really don’t care to.
I know everyone on both sides of the block. Some are “neighbors” of the hello/good morning variety. But most are friends, people I can rely on when one of the kids are sick at school and need a ride home.
Last year, when I had to call 911 for my husband, one neighbor sat with my teenage kids as they worried. Another, their former babysitter, stayed the night just to be there while her twin sister, a nurse, sat up at the hospital with me all night.
I am truly blessed in my neighbors.
Our book club is definitely a mix of drinking wine, catching up and discussing the book (and the requisite peanut M&Ms!). But I like the combination. Last month we read “A Man Called Ove” and it led to one of the best and supportive evenings we’ve had as we got to talking about aging parents and ourselves as we get older. We always talk about the book but sometimes more and sometimes not as much. And the numbers vary from 6-8 of us up to 12 or so. Sometimes the conversations going off a tangent of the book are even more valued than the discussions about the actual book! I know we all felt more connected with each other after last month’s meeting. Plus it’s a good way to meet the new, younger neighbors now that I don’t have kids at home anymore.
We know the old neighbors really well but the newer ones with small children, not so well. Everyone is friendly though and we all wave. There are probably 2 homes near us that I have never met the people in twenty years of living here. It’s odd as this is a small town and I live in a small subdivision; you would think you might have seen each other at some point. I do find that having neighbors that you can ask for help (and give it) to be one of the best things in life. We help each other out with dogs, plants, and moving things. The other day, I had a neighbor down the street come out and tell me if my brake lights were working. I let their dog out the day that they decided at the last minute to go to a ball game. Life is much easier that way.
Our book club was definitely more about drinking wine and catching up. There were a lot of moms with small kids or just getting into school aged kids and they liked to chat. When we first moved here, there was more reading of the book, but as the years went by, only a few of us could be counted on to read the book! The books weren’t exactly great literature, either, which was OK with me at that point in my life/career.
In Dallas where my kids grew up, the problem was that many families (including us) chose private schools, so you weren’t necessarily going to school with the kids on the block. There was quite a range. We tended to hang out with the families that had kids in the same schools. Later in school (last 2 years of high school for my daughter and last 4 for son) our kids went away to school, so that even took out that connection. Our friends were mainly through church , my work and our athletics.
It was a different era growing up in the 60s and early 70s. Lack of air-conditioning and “nothing good on TV” drove us kids outside. Our parents said “Have fun and be home before the street lights are on”. We played a lot of neighborhood pick-up games on the streets or at the local park. Most of the moms did not work, and many families owned a single car. You saw everyone at the small neighborhood grocer or butcher shop. My mom used to send me to the grocer with a list, that included cigarettes!
Thanks to this thread, I made a point to talk to my next door neighbor this afternoon as I was weeding my front lawn. :He and his family have lived here for about 10 years, and we are cordial but not friends, mostly because they are younger and have young kids, while ours are grown.
When our kids were little, we had a neighborhood like @Midwest67 describes, only in the 90’s. Most of the moms stayed at home, or worked from home, and the kids ran relatively free. We left our doors unlocked, and neighborhood kids could come and go from house to house, mostly in the summer.
We had a group that became great friends, and we did all the kid-related things together. My favorite was when we took all the little girls in one van to the mall to get their ears pierced.
We did grownup things as well, but time marches on, and many have moved. We all still enjoy each other when we get a chance. It’s fun that the kids have all moved on to other states or towns, but they seem to all remember those days affectionately.
We’ve lived here for 37 years, so we’ve seen many incarnations of this street. Our beloved other next door neighbor died at 91, and his son and his granddaughter and great-granddaughter have moved in. I’m so glad that they are there. We could definitely be friendlier neighbors these days, so I think I’ll work on that!
^^^^^ I love that you did that - talked a little more to your neighbor today. 
Thanks, and this thread was the inspiration!
This thread is interesting. We do not have any social friends on our street, and never have in the 25 years we have lived here. We moved onto this street of about 35 modest-sized houses before we had kids. We didn’t hit the neighborhood turnover cycle at the right time - there were very few kids the same age as ours all the years they were growing up. Most of our neighbors were older folks aging in place, and I always felt bad that my S & D didn’t have playmates to hang out with on the street. Now the older folks are all gone, and the street is full of young families with small children. We know the family across the street fairly well because D babysits for them, but otherwise its just a wave and maybe a short conversation. I like being around young people and would actually like to get to know some of these families better, but everybody is so busy, and nobody really hangs out in their front yard so there isn’t much opportunity to build relationships. But I’m thinking - maybe H and I will consider throwing a neighborhood get-together!
Question for those of you who don’t socialize with your neighbors - where have you found your friends you do socialize with? For us, it’s been church. We have a strong social network of friends of various ages from years of being active at church, and our many church-related activities keep us socially active (just hosted are end-of-year choir picnic at our house today!)
Grew up in that 1950’s-60’s neighborhood with many kids. Mothers mainly did not work (one nurse who did) and they kaffe klatched routinely- no to gossip but to have adult conversation, no way could we get away with saying so and so’s mom let her…
Raised son in a different city, cul de sac with hills/ravines so only known neighbors were in the set of cul de sacs off each other. Got to know those at our end and the ones with kids. One nasty, single man- knew someone he had lived next to before us and know he, not me, was the problem. Glad when he moved. By the time we moved almost all had moved on and replaced with younger families (an exception being the couple who built their ranch for retirement there).
Moved to Tampa five years ago- another suburban type part of the city and a 12 house cul de sac. Know who everyone is- ages range from baby to 90’s, various religiousness, former states and ethnic groups as well. Friends with some- in our older (not 90’s) age group. Know people well enough to have a sense of kid ages/stages and to take in mail/paper when next door either side needs it (howcum telling paper delivery to stop doesn’t always matter???) and have them keep an eye out. In talking with various neighbors I think most know each other although we go our generally separate ways.
I think one neighbor’s small dog does not like me because I have told his owner when he runs free- he avoids me when we occasionally stop on the street. Hey- doing my job when he escapes and heads past out of the cul de sac and appreciated by the mom.
We all seem to get along, keeping out of each others’ ways but willing to do things for each other. I think there’s an unwritten rule that only nice people live on our street… we got lucky. Learning something about your neighbors so they are not strangers and being sympathetic when needed goes a long way towards a comfortable home street. My introverted H got to know them as well as extroverted me.
When we lived in NM and ID we knew and really liked our neighbors and our neighborhoods with sidewalks and trails. We moved to a large suburban area on the east coast 6 years ago, and don’t know any of our neighbors well. It is the highest cost of living area we have ever lived in, but there are no sidewalks or trails in our neighborhood and people are transient and I guess exhausted from commuting - we rarely see anyone outside. Also the weather is different - summer evenings were so pleasant in NM and ID (high desert) that we enjoyed hanging out on the front lawn and socializing with neighbors. And in ID, we lived on the western side of the time zone and pretty far north, so summer evenings lasted until 10pm. Here on the east coast the summer weather is oppressive and it’s not real pleasant to spend much time outdoors. And it gets dark early. I will say that in our lovely ID neighborhood we did have to deal with a neighbor who had periodic sex parties and the cars would be lined up along the streets for blocks. So there’s no perfect neighborhood.
Thank goodness for my dad’s neighbors (he’s 94). !!
They check in on him periodically and it truly is a lifesaver for not only him but for me and my sister who live further away.
Two neighbors helped him fix his sprinkler system. They did it because they could. Not enough “thank you’s” suffice.
Another neighbor shows up for “heavy lifting” when asked by my dad.
Another neighbor is a nurse who checks in and brings in his mail and newspaper to him daily.
And provides some real face-time on the social front. Which is more important than I ever thought.
Our neighborhood isn’t as close as my dad’s but it could be. We do try to watch out for each other’s property during storms etc. In a clinch we stick together. We do know who is who.
Where do we get our friends? Not from the neighborhood…so I began to think. Two of my closest friends I went to high school with. Ok…they live in BH as well. One…from college. Our best friends are from our time in the valley…boys t ball…tennis. Sorority sisters (and spouses).
@gouf78 What wonderful neighbors your dad has! Such a positive story to hear about. It inspires me to be a better neighbor.
I know the guy across the street pretty well. He’s my brother.
^cute
Waving with all, chatting. Take in the garbage.
But not “friends” and am ok with that.
Years ago the woman across the street (other house) would drop by…
I was working part time and had two little kids and when I arrived home I
did not want this. Then she would knock on the door and come in and wave as
she went to my bathroom to weigh herself. Ok that was short lived.
She was nice enough and that was when I realized that I will never be that kind of
neighbor…so someday when I live in assisted living or whatever…I am going to be
really unpopular with my “not wanting company” on one side of the sign and “do knock” on the other.
@oregon101, I don’t think I could ever be that kind of neighbor either. Weighing herself? That’s a little bizarre.
We live on a short straight street facing a cul de sac. We and most of the neighbors are original owners for the last 23 years. Until last month, only the three smallest house had changed hands: one sold to her sister and move to a senior apartment, another was purchased by the mother of my friend’s friend and he lives around the corner. The smallest house flipped several times and I think the single woman with college daughters and an ill father at home will stay. A neighbor two houses on our straight street just sold his house to downsize and accept a severance/retirement package from his job. It was a 4-bdrm house and they only have one special needs son. I think he and his wife may have divorced but they are quiet, so who knows. The new neighbors appear to be a large quiet immigrant family. I wave at them and will to knock on their door after giving them a bit to time to settle in.
One of the neighbors in the cul de sac is considered an extra sister to me and I’m the sister she never had. Her youngest son and my oldest son are close in age and we have been a big help to each other over the years. I think we both plan to be old ladies here together. She and I talk at least once a week out in front of the house. I’ve sat in her house and the house of my next door neighbor. Everyone waves and says good morning. The women talk. The men talk. The kids play and talk and we take them to the movies with us. I know everyone’s name except for the creepy son of the sister who bought. We help one another but leave each other alone. Such as when we were evacuating for Hurricane Rita, everyone was talking in the middle of the street, sharing if they were staying or where they were going. We used to host BBQs years ago and three of the families would come, but we have gotten too busy now.