You’re never going to invite this couple again. You really like the restaurant. I’m assuming you’re calling the restaurant to see if they can handle a late cancellation just so you can report back to this couple that the restaurant needs a firm count now. We all know that even if the restaurant says they can handle it, they won’t be happy about it.
I know who I’d want to make happy here. 
If I were OP, I wouldn’t allow this couple to call the restaurant and add themselves to MY reservation. They’d have to make their own.
I wouldn’t want them calling about my reservation either.
We’ve run into this kind of thing twice recently with our D’s friends when commitments for a group have been required.
Yes, the couple is being annoying, and they are causing extra work for you. On the other hand, they want to be with you and they might turn out to be enjoyable company (if, indeed, they actually make it). Finally, restaurants are used to making minor accommodations (1 couple, say) for groups.
I would just do this: when you call the restaurant the day before to give them the hard count, tell them you are planning on 12, but one couple is iffy. Tell them you’ll know by 2 pm tomorrow if they can’t come, and then it will be just the ten of you. This should not be a problem for the restaurant. Since the event is so popular, they will either a) have a waiting list, and you’ll make one other couple very happy; or, b) a walk-in couple will show up and be relieved to get a table!
Keep in mind that the purpose for these events is to show goodwill to the community, and to entice locals to come back at a further time to eat. I sincerely doubt that the restaurant would ding you for 2 no-shows out of 12, particularly since you can let them know in the afternoon. As for the indecisive couple, after the first glass of wine and the wonderful smells wafting from the kitchen, I doubt that anyone will be perturbed, whether it is 10 or 12 in your group!
Thanks everyone, you’ve given me a lot to think about.
To be clear, I made the verbal invitation to the wife but she doesn’t have an email. Her H answers all email sent and so I sent an email with the details to him and that is who I am dealing with. I like the wife and she is nice, I think I know now how the husband is. I’m thinking of calling the wife and telling her how uncomfortable I am with this and with making a reservation including them when they are very unsure if they can make it.
I do not want to make a big deal over something with this and make things in our group uncomfortable. Because it’s not just about me and my relationship with this couple but with the dynamics of our friends.
I already in my earlier email made it clear that it is a small restaurant and that this special will sell out. And that the restaurant made it clear that they will confirm the numbers and I still got the response about still including them. So I’m not sure I want to get into an email discussion where I reiterate what I’ve already told him. I made myself very clear earlier.
Thanks, I really like some of the responses, and the support.
I’d probably add to the above “This is a small town and we love this restaurant and don’t want to be PNG next year” you can say it as a joke if you need to.
I’d respond, “I’m sorry that doesn’t work for me. Let’s get together some other time.” And then if they want to get together wait for them to invite YOU.
I wouldn’t even want them there at this point. You respect the restaurant enough to want to be straight with them. This man respects you so little that he is ignoring your attitude toward the restaurant in favor of his own.
I would write back and say “As I said, the restaurant needs a firm count by X date and since you cannot commit, I will remove you from the reservation.”
"I would write back and say “As I said, the restaurant needs a firm count by X date and since you cannot commit, I will remove you from the reservation.”
I agree with this. As a conflict adverse person, communicating like this through email would be the easiest thing to do. Make it short and sweet, just like that. You could add that if their plans change, that they could call the restaurant to see if they can be accommodated. Don’t hem and haw, and give him an opportunity to make it difficult for you. Put the additional work on them, and if they decide to go, it’s on them as far as working it out. The reality is, they are only going to go if their other event is cancelled (unlikely). Sound like they’re going for the BBD (bigger, better deal), and you guys are second choice. Trust me, you are giving this WAY more thought than they are.
I wanted to update everyone who posted and every opinion was taken to heart and appreciated. Today is the day we are going to dinner.
My H was very irritated that I even emailed this couple to tell them that it wasn’t going to work in the first place. He is even more conflict adverse than I am and he did not want me to say anything to them. In the interest of marriage harmony, I let it go. It was hard but I did.
The restaurant called me Tuesday to confirm our numbers. As I predicted they were completely full this week and had a waiting list. I had some change in numbers and told her we were now 10, but probably (possibly) 8. She was really nice and laughed when I told her the absolute truth. I told her how upset I was.
Predictably, I emailed our maybe today around noon and guess what, they can’t make it. He thanked me for asking him and to think of them when we do this again. FAT CHANCE BUDDY! I will never invite you to anything again.
I do feel a little bad because I am having a hard time getting past this and am still irritated. I woke up early today thinking about how annoyed I am.
But I plan on going tonight and having a great time.
How rude! I don’t even know you or them, and I’m still irritated at this story. Go have a great time and after that first drink, just be glad they aren’t there!
Predictable…but didn’t they invite themselves? What an ego trip for them.
I called the restaurant as soon as I found out. They weren’t open yet so I plan on calling back soon to update them on our situation.
(Somehow it was important for me to inform everyone here that I plan on updating the restaurant. It’s probably too late for them to add another table which is still annoying to me)
I’m sure a lucky couple will be delighted by your thoughtfulness, as will the restaurant. There is no consideration by some folks.
They’re poopy heads, and you’ve got class. Let it go.
Have a great time, Deb! And yes, be thankful that you don’t have to play nice with them tonight! Enjoy!
You’ll be making some walk-in very happy, but I’d be irritated too. Enjoy your dinner with your other friends.
Have a great dinner, and a big glass wine!