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It is, but I was under the possible delusion that if the mother knew the daughter was under scrutiny she’d be compelled to behave as well. I acknowledge that that may be wishful thinking on my part.</p>
<p>From your posts, I would not consider the woman to be rational, so alerting the police about her behavior would seem highly indicated.</p>
<p>Late to the thread, but just wanted to corroborate the notion that this is crazy-bananas behavior and has crossed the line. It’s so tough to see that when you’re in the middle of something that surreal, but I’m wowed at your family’s level-headedness and extreme sense of empathy. This is a very appropriate place to say “no more,” though, and I’m glad you’re saying it. I just wanted to say what good heads your family seems to have on their respective shoulders. Y’all are in my thoughts and prayers, and I hope with you that this scary, obsessive behavior ends here and now. Keep us posted…</p>
<p>Hugs and sympathy from here. As someone whose daughter has been the target of jealousy (including a documented plot by 2 girls to lure her away from her friends at a concert and beat her up - luckily D didn’t fall for it) but never to the level you describe, and never by a PARENT - I can imagine how frightening this is. I think you did the 100% correct thing by going to the police AND the school. If the school knows what the situation is, that will help your D be safe there. In the meantime, I wouldn’t let her go anywhere alone. And the wack-o family showed up at your OTHER D’s work AND attacked your husband? It’s way past time for the cops to be involved. It’s awful that you have to be in fear in your own home and neighborhood. </p>
<p>Hopefully the warning from the cops will put the fear of God into this wacko woman and her emotionally damaged kid. If not, a restraining order keeping their whole family away from your whole family would be the definite next step. And I think I’d definitely invest in a security system, including a motion-activated camera. </p>
<p>Good luck and keep us posted.</p>
<p>Wow, sounds like the cops & school will do their best to help the situation. I agree with the other posters that your D cannot be left alone and none of you can let your guard down, unfortunately. You are doing the right thing by working with the school & police. This situation is far too serious to have let things continue to possible worsen.</p>
<p>Hang in there, ZM. You & your family are in everyone’s thoughts and prayers through this tough time!</p>
<p>Zooser, so sorry to hear this but good to hear that the police are involved. That business of the parent showing up at your daughter’s work? That’s stalking, isn’t it? We had a parent like that show up at my son’s sporting event to intimidate him. Very scary. Please keep us posted!!</p>
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The freakish part is that it’s not the same daughter and this daughter is several years older, never attended school with the girl and barely knows her.</p>
<p>Things are supposed to start playing out in school today. Thanks for the thoughts and prayers. I really need them.</p>
<p>zmom, I’ve been following this story but haven’t posted. Just wanted you to know I’m hoping for a good outcome.</p>
<p>I just had a (admittedly paranoid) thought - could you all discretely carry a simple whistle to alert people nearby of a truly threatening situation? I hope for your sake that the school does not downplay this situation and you get some peace.</p>
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That’s a great idea and one we never would have thought of. Yould you think I was paranoid if I said that we’ve had an emergency plan in place for four years?</p>
<p>Zmom, I just read your saga and wanted to pop in with my support.</p>
<p>Just a thought: Doesn’t your husband work for the city? Whether or not he does, but especially if he does, that fact plus the fact that you work in a law office, I suspect has led this family to believe that despite the “fact” that their daughter is more wonderful in every way than your daughter, your “connections” have garnered your daughter the accolades that should have come their daughter’s way over the years. (To take your big-guns-rusted-car-skeletons description a bit further…folks who don’t understand how the system works often blame their shortcomings on connections or impropriety or “the system” .) If this is what’s motivating them it would “make sense” that there would be escalation over your daughter’s college acceptances and scholarships (perhaps particularly at non-reachy schools where you “obviously have influence.”) If you are correct and the other girl is rejected at all her schools, that could very well trigger a quantum leap in escalation. Suggesting new apps to less reachy schools was a great idea–maybe the key. You have absolutely done the right thing in involving the police. I hope the whole situation just goes away for you.</p>
<p>zm, I am so sorry that you’ve been living under this cloud for 4 years. I hope that the family will back off, now that they are starting to see some consequences. </p>
<p>Shmoomcgoo has a good point - the college acceptance news is not going to be easy for this family to accept. And is there a chance that, now that her recent actions are widely known, the school will feel compelled to report them to colleges?</p>
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We’re trying desperately to avoid that because we believe that if she can get away, the D has tons of potential waiting to be tapped. But, yes, that would be the outcome.</p>
<p>Keep us updated ZM. And BTW you are a very kind soul, you have been more than fair and forgiving to the D. I understand the mom is the problem, but if my kid/family was being threatened and the D vandalized MY house, I don’t think I’d have been as kind as you in trying to keep the consequences of her actions to a minimum.</p>
<p>There are some beautiful whistles out there, including some silver ones that could do the trick. There are also alarms on key chain fobs that are very effective (and LOUD) if pressed.</p>
<p>Good luck, ZM. Hopefully the D will go off to college & some of the dynamic will improve.</p>
<p>I don’t think you are doing your kid or the other kid any favors by pretending this is acceptable, look-the-other-way behavior. The fact that the actions have continued/escalated indicates the perpetrator(s) believe(s) that she/they have not “crossed any lines” – yet. And I cannot imagine how your daughter is being impacted psychologically by all this.</p>
<p>Draw the line. Report the behavior and let the chips fall where they may. You do not want your daughter to be victimized doubly by teaching her that she can’t demand the torment be halted because concerns about consequences for the bully are greater than concerns about her own rights and well-being.</p>
<p>ZM has reported this to the police & school, as she hsa mentioned in her updates. Hopefully things will improve somewhat now that the police & school are involved.</p>
<p>I might have missed something but I don’t know why you are reluctant to get the police involved. That would have been the first thing I did after seeing a person vandalize my house.</p>
<p>^^^^^^^
I Just read the last post and see that my post is irrelevent. I hope the police scared this girl enough to make her realize that she needs to leave your family and property alone.</p>
<p>Wondering if your DD had anything to report after school today.</p>
<p>Praying for a safe outcome.</p>
<p>Bumping because I’m curious/worried.</p>