<p>I second what bluebayou said. It made me think of a case at DD’s high school where girls were being harrassed through instant messenger by a boy and a school laptop was involved. It happened right before graduation and I know that the school investigated and confronted the offender. I don’t know the outcome because of the timing with graduation but bluebayou is right, if there’s a chance any of it was done using school computers, then the school is involved.</p>
<p>zoosermom, I can’t add anything of value which has not already been said, but I just wanted to say good luck and keep us posted.</p>
<p>I agree with everyone here. I know it’s hard to take distract measure against someone you’ve known for a long time but this situation sounds completely out of control. This calls for an all out defensive plan on your part for your D. I would do everything that has been suggested here: talk to the administration at school, press charges and take out restraining order on both parents and the D. </p>
<p>Also, I doubt you and that other principal are the only ones who harbor these thoughts about her. Just a thought. Anyway, it doesn’t matter. This is happening to your whole family and it’s time to send a clear message that you are willing to take a stand and fight back. I hope this resolves quickly for you. It sounds awful.</p>
<p>zm, I’m glad you’re going to the pct. tomorrow. I was going to tell you that my nephew is a cop in the same metro area you’re in, but not the same pct., and he often responds to calls involving harassment. I was going to ask him what you should say/what you could expect from the police, but it sounds like you have a “connection” where you are. Good luck and please report back.</p>
<p>zm:</p>
<p>I’m late to this thread, but I’m glad you are agreeing with everybody that you really need to seek help in protecting your D against this woman. It’s possible that her D does not know how crazy/scary her mom is, so focus your complaint on the mom’s behavior.
But please act now. Better safe than sorry!</p>
<p>Zmom, thinking of you. Let us know how things went.</p>
<p>WOW !! And I thought my neighbors were crazy. So sorry that you and your family have been going through all of this…it is shocking that a woman who worked with young children is capable off all of this harrassment.
It sounds like you are on the right track by contacting authorities before something more serious happens.
I wish you all luck in resolving this</p>
<p>Just wanted to pop in with an update. Insane day, as you can imagine.</p>
<p>Late yesterday afternoon, D’s GC called to tell me that she had heard about the vandalism incident because one of the accomplices ratted out the girl and it’s all over the school. We talked for a long time and I told her the entire history and explained what evidence/documentation we had. I also explained how much I didn’t want to ruin the girl’s life and she suggested that as a first step she counsel the girl alone, explain the possible consequences to her, and possibly even get a couple of last minute college applications to appropriate schools, to headoff possible heartbreak. I told her that I’d like her to give that a shot, but that I didn’t waive any possible legal rights.</p>
<p>We spoke to a police officer today and gave her all the info and expressed our concerns. I also told her how much I don’t want to ruin the girl’s life but will take any and all action necessary to protect my daughter. She suggested that the police speak to the girl but not identify who spoke to them (she thinks that since the school knows there are any number of people who could have called) and get a professional sense of what the girl’s frame of mine is. THe officer indicated that sometimes there are young people who can get right with themselves by having the fear of God put into them. If that’s the case, then it just might be that she behaves, keeps her mouth shut and we’re ok till graduation. She will also explain to the parents exactly how serious and far-reaching the consequences could be and hope that the parents want to avoid that. If it doesn’t play out that way, then the next step is to process a complaint and request a restraining order. The officer is hopeful that, since the kid isn’t hardcore and has never been in trouble before we might get away without going further. I’ll keep you posted.</p>
<p>Thanks so much for the support, advice and good wishes. They mean more than I can tell you.</p>
<p>Thanks for the update, zm. I’m glad that this is now “all over the school;” they can’t ignore it any more!</p>
<p>Good luck to you.</p>
<p>I am so glad that you have a plan now, and that both the school and the police now know exactly what’s been going on.</p>
<p>You are a very generous, empathetic person, zmom, not to press charges immediately. </p>
<p>And I’m keeping my fingers crossed that it all works out OK.</p>
<p>Donna</p>
<p>Thanks again so much for the good wishes.<br>
I sat and talked with my daughter for a long time last night. We both have parts of us that would like to see the girl taken out of school in handcuffs, but after fantasizing about that a little bit, we both agreed that we are not going to get into the gutter with her or compromise our principles. She kept coming back to the fact that the girl is completely unparented and feeling very sorry for her. That’s a great point. Pardon my negative stereotyping for a minute, but to paint you a picture, if they lived somewhere else, this family would have a high fence, big guns and car skeletons all over the yard. The parents both work within a few blocks of home and have pretty much never been anywhere or encountered people from anywhere else. As my D says, there was no good outcome for the family without some intervention or major change.</p>
<p>Zoo,
Please keep your guard up, and tell your D to do so as well! My worry is what wacko mom might do after the police have left. If she is as crazy as she seems to be, trying to reason with her and telling her what the consequences will be if she doesn’t straighten out and leave your family alone will not do anything. If she was OK in the head in the first place then this stalking, and the assault against your husband, etc etc. wouldn’t have happened to begin with. Having the police talk to her D might possibly enrage her even more. So PLEASE, PLEASE be careful. You can’t relax because you talked to the police. They can’t really begin protect you unless you have filed charges and have gotten a restraining order. The D may still be young enough that a stern talking to by the police might jar some sense into her. But, you need to protect your family first, and worry about the wack-jobs daughter afterward.</p>
<p>zm, thanks for posting an update. I really hope that things will calm down, but please be vigilant and do not let your guard down. Trust your gut instinct - it is never wrong.</p>
<p>So sorry, zoosermom! What a horrible situation. Very glad you’re going to the police and the school. This girl might be stuck in a bad family situation, but she vandalized your house and terrified the dog. This is not normal behavior, and it’s very scary to think what else she might be capable of doing. Not to mention, her bad family situation makes it more likely that her criminal behavior will escalate, since presumably it’s getting a lot of support.</p>
<p>I can think of a couple more reasons for you to pursue this as far as you can take it legally. First, role modeling for your D. As in, when someone commits crimes against you and harasses you, you stand up for yourself and protect yourself and your family no matter what. It’s an especially important message for a young girl who is about to go off to college and face a variety of situations independently. Second, even though the criminals here are nut cases , maybe if they see that their bad behavior has aversive consequences for people other than their victims (namely: themselves), this realization will give them a hard edge to bump up against when they’re going out of control next time. As in, Oh yeah, as fun as it would be to cause pain to Z-family, we could get arrested and be deeply embarrassed in the community. Let’s go torture each other instead.</p>
<p>I hope the perp reads this thread and knows that you mean serious business, zm!</p>
<p>Zmom, thanks for the update.
It sounds like the word is out and you (or Z-family) had nothing to do with it. Apparently someone else - an accomplice, no less! - thinks that this girl and her family are wrong. It’s no longer “she said vs. she said.” Now that it’s out in the open, you may find that there are others who also have been harassed by these people. But please keep up your guard, as others have cautioned.</p>
<p>zm, I’m so glad that you have taken action, and that others have become involved. I am hoping that the conversation with the police officer will be the reality check that this woman, and her family, need. Keep us posted.</p>
<p>Wondering if the police know by name who the accomplice is? Does the problem-girl know? The accomplice may be victimized soon (perhaps sparing you for a while). What a mess. Good luck!</p>
<p>zm, thanks for the update! Stay safe!</p>
<p>Zmom:</p>
<p>I was under the impression that the biggest concern is the mom. I hope the police talks to her as well as her D! Good thing that the school knows about the situation so that your D does not have to face it alone. She sounds like such a caring kid. Too bad it’s happening to her!</p>