<p>Hi, I’m usually around Prep Schools topics, because I’m applying to boarding school this year. But I’ve been wondering about something lately…
I go to a K-12 school in upstate New York. I’ve been enrolled in my school since kindergarten, like a number of my classmates.
Naturally, I’m an independent person. I don’t like to ask for help–I’d rather figure out something myself than grow dependent on other people who might not be there in the future. But some of my classmates aren’t; from simple things like a report, to putting together a project, I CONSTANTLY hear ‘my parents helped me’. It makes me wonder once these people get to college; how will they adjust?
I’m all for helping out your child with homework if they don’t understand it, but every night? One of my friends’s parents left for vacation midterm week: he failed every test he had. They’ve grown so dependent on their parents that without them, they’ll do horrible in school!
But yet again, these people are in eighth grade–maybe they will outgrow this. But I fear that they won’t…</p>
<p>The only “help” we’ve given our kids is to purchase supplies for them & make sure they get to & from school & pick up homework & books when they’re ill. We don’t check their homework, quiz them, “help” them with assignments, or any of that. They have done everything on their own, which is why I think they’ll be fine wherever they end up. THey are very independent and know they can rely on themselves to get everything completed, as they have forever.</p>
<p>Honestly, we tried to help our son with some brain teasers he brought home in math (in 7th grade), “for fun.” He did all he could & after he went to sleep, we tried to answer a few & the next day, he informed us that all our answers were wrong anyway. <sigh> At this point, we couldn’t help our kids if we wanted to, otehr than hiring them tutors, since they’re studying stuff we never learned in the 1st place (like 2nd year of AP physics & 2nd semester of AP computer science & AP calculus).
I agree that kids who have relief by “help” from mom & dad (or other sources) will have to adjust & figure out other resources in college. Office hours with the prof & teaching assistant may help, or study groups with classmates. Folks adjust & adapt as needed.</sigh></p>
<p>I’ve read articles about how many students in colleges are overly dependent on their parents. The parents call to talk things over with professors, the parents try to deal with applications to change recitation groups, etc, etc. Yes, the parents even “look” over papers and the like …</p>
<p>The favorite story was one family where the mom called – long distance – to order pizza to be delivered to her son. To my mind, if you can’t order pizza on your own, you have no business being in college!</p>
<p>Right now my daughter is dealing with a bureaucratic mistake at her college. I am advising her of the steps to take, but she has to do it herself. I think dealing with this stuff is a valuable education.</p>