The title says it all. He shaved it all off, as he was “going for a new look.” His hair was one of his greatest features. I don’t really know what to say to him, as he didn’t discuss it with me.
I cut mine off, very short, almost shaved, because it was thinning out and I got tired of pretending I had hair. If your husband’s hair was indeed “one of his greatest features”, then it will grow back. That should give you plenty of time to express your displeasure with him until it grows back sufficiently.
Too funny! Let him have some fun - it will grow back. Personally I love a shaved head, but it has to be on the right guy. Very “in vogue” right now for men. Unfortunately it would look ridiculous on my DH - he is the Paul Stuart type.
I don’t think it’s funny. My H changed his appearance and when I didn’t respond the way he wanted he was angry. It was totally unexpected. His was passive-aggressive behavior. I’m not controlling either. What was your H’s response to your response? This may have been an impulsive decision on his part.
Do you ask his permission every time you cut your hair either?? Jeez.
I do not ask H’s opinion when I cut or color my hair. I have it highlighted, which he has told me several times he doesn’t like, as he didn’t marry a blond. My response is he didn’t marry a woman w gray hair either. Hair styles change over time. The good thing about hair is any style is not permanent, especially w a guy. It will grow out in a few weeks.
I might have a different feeling if it was something permanent such as a facial tatoo or face lift.
I’m more concerned about the “won’t discuss it with me” than about the hair. What does “won’t discuss it” mean? Does it mean you asked why and he wouldn’t answer? Does it mean you got angry and now he wants the topic off-limits?
My reaction to the hair itself is “so what?” Hair grows back. What else do you like about him? If his hair is “one of his greatest features” perhaps he’s tired of being told that.
At first I thought I’d be sympathetic to your husband, but on second thought, maybe not. My husband has a beautiful, full head of hair, which is rare for a man in his fifties. I would be shocked if he shaved it off, and think there was something weird going on mentally. It’s not like a woman, who often changes her style or color. In fact, how do you think he would react, mom, particularly if you have long hair…if you got one of those short, spiky cuts without telling him? He just might be horrified.
I’m with you. I’m shocked. But at least guys hair grows back pretty fast.
Are you sure that there isn’t someone else who asked him to go for this “new look?”
I think a man might well underestimate how his wife would react to a change like this. It’s not necessarily a passive-aggressive action.
I totally understand where you are coming from as far as not telling you about it first. I would be hurt, wondering if there was some underlying problem with us as a couple, that he would do something so drastic (because shaving off your hair is drastic) without informing me, or asking my opinion. And yes…I would tell my husband if I have plans to do something drastic.
But, Hunt makes sense though. It could have been he was in the seat and just suddenly said, “shave it off”, like might say, “oh, just cut it off in this sassy style”. I would want to know which it was.
If it was something premeditated, I’d like to know why. I’d also like to know why he didn’t mention it to me. Just wanted you to know I get where you are coming from.
My point is just that a guy may not think of this as something particularly drastic. “What’s the big deal? It’ll grow back soon.”
Has he ever brought up shaving his head before? The reason I ask is because I know my dad (half-kidding, I think, but not really) always talked about wanting to shave his head, and my mom always thought that it would be a horrible idea. If one day he did do it, it wouldn’t really be unexpected, as in it’s something he talked about through the years, even if he didn’t say anything that particular time.
I am of two minds about this. I would be very upset if a spouse/significant other didn’t want me to change my look, because they valued it so much - it would call into question a lot of things about the relationship for me. However, by the same token, as a significant other/wife, I would want to be told, not because I would veto it (my view is - it’s just hair, just looks, who cares), but I would be hurt by it not being mentioned to me beforehand and would wonder why - it would really be a communication thing, not a looks thing. And I don’t exactly know what category this situation belongs in, as we don’t know all the information.
My husband shaves off his full beard from time to time. Sometimes I don’t notice for weeks.
At least you noticed. 
If he is not the impulsive type regarding his looks, #8 brings up a plausible possibilty.
The guy is now having an affair because he shaved his head??? That’s a big leap to me.
@sax, my Husband changes his facial hair often and I don’t slwsys notice. I’m used to seeing him with and without so it doesn’t really register.
It would never occur to me that either of us would have to discuss hair in advance. And in fact he did shave his head years ago (before we were married) and it very much surprised me, as I was asleep when he did it and woke up to this hairless dude. :). But it’s his hair.
Oh, gosh. I was prepared to say you are too controlling based just on the thread title, but after reading your post I am concerned that the change would be so drastic and that he didn’t run it by you first. That just doesn’t sound very thoughtful when the change was such a large one. I think atomom was hinting at where my wild imagination goes … Is there someone else who wanted the new look? 
Sorry, but that’s where my mind went.
ETA: I know this is a huge leap, but change in appearance is one of those things they say to look out for. Don’t hate me!!!
I would never “hate” you @Youdon’tsay - I am not a hater. But I would just never equate a man shaving his head with an affair. Just do not put the two together.
Oh my, I think you are giving some men too much credit. I agree with Hunt.
I just don’t think they think these things through. It could have been as simple as" Hmmm… I wonder what I’d look like if I shaved my head?" 5 minutes later…“hmmm…I look pretty good.”