I haven’t posted in awhile but today my husband lost his job and I’m frankly terrified. My husband and I handle things differently. I’m the worrier and can’t seem to distract myself and he is the introvert who doesn’t want to talk and just turns to his computer. I guess I just needed somewhere to let this out. We aren’t telling the kids yet and my sweet mom is not the confidant she could be in her younger days. Thank you for listening. It is appreciated.
I just realized I should have put this in the
‘Say it here thread”
Been there (husband had layoff many years ago, all OK now)… sending Hugs. It was VERY hard.
Most folks respectfully left us to to mourn the death of his 18 year job, but some dear friends decided to ring our doorbell that night with a bottle of fine scotch in hand. And they sat with us. We hardly even talked, they just kept us company. I will remember that kindness forever.
Thank you for the kind words. That is a lovely story about your friends. A thoughtful quiet distraction Is a wonderful gift.
I know this too shall pass and it could be worse…but tonight…it does indeed feel hard.
I’m so sorry. I hope you will come here and unload when and if you want to. We have been there as well. I remember experiencing lots of tough emotions. Sending (((hugs))).
I’m so sorry to hear that your husband lost his job! If he’s in the tech industry with current skills, he’ll probably land on his feet. Either way, you have my sympathy and best wishes.
I’ve been through 2 layoffs myself (currently in the middle of my second) and they can be pretty tough emotionally and mentally. In my case the first layoff was a kick in the behind that I needed, and I ended up better off in the end. This 2nd one is looking similar. I hope the same will be true for your H as well.
My advice to you, and this is the same advice I gave to W when she was also laid off recently, is to take a few days to process. Don’t make any big decisions, don’t push your H, just try to relax and decompress. You’re both in shock, him more than you. It’s like a seven stages of grief thing where you both need to realize that it’s going to take some time to process and settle down. If he needs a few days to turtle (tuck his head in and hide in his shell) then give him that time.
If you’re the type that needs to do something immediately to deal with the anxiety, then you can review your financial situation and all your accounts to get an accurate picture of where you are. You should also evaluate COBRA and figure out your healthcare options going forward. Those are both things you can take off your H’s plate while he deals with the immediate emotional upheaval.
{Hugs}
No advice, @southerncalimom, but cyber hugs are coming your way. H was laid off twice, once just as S was headed off to college. We were thankful that we didn’t need to have S change his plans. We were also thankful that I had good benefits that we were able to access immediately. All my best to you and your family.
I’m so sorry! My H was always afraid of losing his job and I remember how sad I was when I lost jobs I loved, especially when I needed to income to contribute to the household. Know that you and your H are in our thoughts.
Have him keep his skill set as current and marketable as possible and hopefully something will evolve sooner than later.
I am so sorry. I know how scary that can be. Sending prayers your way.
It is a big shock to be let go. I’ve been there a few times. It is like a break up - very upsetting even if it is something you wanted. Not easy to do, but try to remember it is not personal.
As others said, give your husband some time to process and sort out his emotions.
I am sorry you are going through this now.
Been there, done that, more times than I’d like to remember. It is hard. Very hard. Let him grieve, let him be angry, whatever he needs. But know that he has to get back in the saddle and just keep searching until the next opportunity comes along. Opportunities are out there, but they don’t necessarily look like what we’re used to.
Is this related to COVID?
Take time before making any decisions.
Been there- so sorry you are right now.
All I have is to say is I’m sorry this is happening to your family.
I’m so sorry. It is a huge loss- almost like a divorce. I hope something great comes up for him.
I hope that putting it NOT in the Say It thread turns out to be a blessing for you to get all this support. Sending my own support. <3
Hope you and he can figure out “next steps” - whatever they may be - once the shock wears off.
My son lost his job also in July. It was quite a shock as he thought he had survived the layoffs.
Definitely Covid related as his industry has experienced a huge decline (oil and gas exploration related). Just to remind people that the downturn is not just retail and restaurants
He looking hard and trying to expand his skills right now. He’s an engineer
Been there. It was tough. What helped me most was that I knew the details of our financial situation, and the math showed me that we could make it (with some serious belt-tightening) for at least a year. Your numbers may be uglier than ours were, but as @anomander wrote above, getting clarity about those things will help you decide your best options moving forward.
Sending a big hug and all good wishes to you and your family.
So sorry that you and your family have to go through this. And sending hugs your way. Hopefully, this will be in the rearview mirror sooner than later.
Hugs from here as well. H was laid off once and it turned out to be the best thing for us eventually as he opted to start his own firm. It wasn’t the best thing immediately though. Things were super tight and we lived on credit for part of it, paying it off for another part of our lives.
If you’re open to put down what general field he is in (if he wants to stay in it) and state/location you might be able to get some private messages with suggestions. Cc has a wide audience. There are no guarantees, but one thing I found when people are job hunting is networking is often worth its weight in gold.
If you weren’t able to build up an emergency fund or want to slow down how quickly it’s used, now is also the time to see what local food banks or places that help are around. If you have a place of worship, that can be a good start to ask for what resources they know about. If not call someone in your town or county. Around us the news has been reporting about various options (no religious beliefs necessary, even if they are church run). Oodles of people have been hit by the Covid economy. There are many first timers.
Do NOT feel ashamed getting help. It’s there for that purpose with several companies and individuals donating precisely to help those with needs. Everyone knows it could have just as easily been them drawing the short straw. Being in things together is what will hopefully get everyone through.