<p>Being bored, uncomfortable and overwhelmed do not sound like a simple introverted personality type. It sounds more like autism. Do some reading on the subject. If you don’t feel comfortable with social interactions and you are overwhelmed and unhappy, consider getting some help.</p>
<p>downtoearth, I’m in that 1% too. </p>
<p>I like that each day is a little different. I don’t mind running groups or lecturing (tho its tiring), and I like being a irregular on TV (tho of course that is anxiety-provoking beforehand, but fine when camera on). I am rather passionate about my community service.</p>
<p>I feel like I want to clarify too. I can make chit chat with anyone and do so without much effort. What I was trying to convey was the rare experience of actually connecting with another person on something more than a superficial level (where we keep the conversation going or fill in the awkward pauses). </p>
<p>How many of us actually connect with another person we’ve never met? And engage? And discuss things of a personal or profound nature? That’s what I was talking about, and I do find it difficult to find that one topic where I and a complete stranger can discuss personal and significant things openly and deeply. This is different from being able to make conversation. I can do that with my eyes closed. </p>
<p>The older I get, the more I prefer to connect with people, not just talk. </p>
<p>Does this make any sense to all of you? I really believe that each one of us has experiences that we need to share with others and if we enter a relationship, however brief, with that person, we can share our own experiences, learn about their experiences, and come away enriched and enlivened. And that’s the kind of connection I was talking about.</p>
<p>Yeah I’m pretty sure everyone who’s anyone has seen that “power of introverts” TED talk before. Anyways, introversion and extroversion exist on a spectrum/continuum. They are not static conditions, either. I hate when people purposefully limit themselves and deny themselves opportunities by typecasting themselves and essentially accepting a static psychological state. I could go on and on, but that would be mundane.</p>
<p>i’m an INTJ… which means I don’t care about your feelings, so please don’t share them =P</p>
<p>jk</p>
<p>I’m on the I/E border, but my J is ALLLLLL the way to the J side.</p>
<p>Classof2015,
There was a wonderful book titled Crossroads, which addressed how people can come together for many years and influence each other over time, or for a few hours, and have a profound effect. </p>
<p>I was flying X-country a few years ago, sitting next to a lovely 20+ gal. I usually retreat into my work or a book, but somehow we got to talking. She was engaged but troubled. At some point, she got us Bloody Mary’s, and kept talking. When we parted, she said she felt as though she had intensive psychotherapy. I never told her my profession, but had the satisfaction of feeling I had helped her to clarify her thoughts and feelings.</p>
<p>What a wonderful story! I bet she really did come away from that trip feeling that she had fully, emotionally engaged with another human being – one who was willing to hear her story. That was a gift – from you to her – and in a way, from her to you.</p>
<p>Thank you.</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>I consistently registered as an ENTJ, strong NTJ while borderline on the E. While I can spend long periods alone and prefer it for certain situations(i.e. reading, studying, working on complex computer/essay arguments & points), I prefer being in the company of others…especially those who are congenial. </p>
<p>While I have no issues striking up conversations with random strangers, I find it really draining if conversations are all/mostly non-intellectual or worse…anti-intellectual(i.e. Excessive Teacher/Prof. bashing, academic achiever/Nerd* bashing, or the mentality that “studying anything not directly related to vocational activities is a waste of time”).</p>
<p>Funny part is due to the above, I tend to find introverts to be much more enjoyable conversation partners/friends than most fellow extroverts who tend to overemphasize charm and too often cruelly put down introverts. Now…if they only spoke up more even with my holding back my inclination to hold forth on conversation as IMO…just hearing myself talk means I don’t get to learn or get fascinated with their perspectives/experiences. </p>
<ul>
<li>Nerd defined as someone who is really passionate and excels in academic endeavors whether it’s pure math or literature.</li>
</ul>
<p>i’m somewhat introverted. i can deal with one person at a time. just one. in groups i don’t know how to act at all</p>
<p>I was particularly interested in the remark by am9799
</p>
<p>It seems to me that there are a few “affinity groups” of CC posters who reliably agree on certain issues, and I have been wondering whether this is correlated with the Myers Briggs categories, or not. If other forum participants who know their MB categories are willing to post them, I’d be happy to collect the results into a single post. If you are willing to post your MB category, but don’t want to be aggregated into a single post, please post that, too.</p>
<p>Although I have some general doubts about the validity of the MB classification, I have actually found the associated commentary useful in working with colleagues who differ from me in every letter. The colleagues seem less irrational when I understand “where they’re coming from.” :)</p>
<p>Maine@post 21, I know exactly what you speak of and I don’t consider myself an introvert. Many people have no conception of the art of conversation and will grand stand for as long as people will listen. They will go on ad infinitum about their children, their ailments, their accomplishments, their renovation project and never come up for air. Unbeknownst to them, they are commonly known as “bores”. As I get older I just don’t have the same tolerance for these situations and excuse myself in search of more interesting discourse.</p>
<p>My preferences for the ideal social situation have changed over the years. I think I am becoming less of an extrovert. I used to very much enjoy large parties especially since they usually involved meeting new people. Now I prefer smaller gatherings with couples we know well where we can actually hear each other talk. I think there is a reason that some friends stay with you over the years.</p>
<p>QuantMech, you’re welcome. As I mentioned earlier, I’m an INxP.</p>
<p>Thanks–I have no nefarious purposes behind the request–just curiosity and an interest in patterns.</p>
<p>HarvestMoon1 – you hit the nail on the head – I think a lot of what we’re talking about has to do with people’s ability to converse. It is an art. And unfortunately, with many people, they view conversation as more of a monologue. There is no give and take, no sharing of thoughts and ideas. It’s them talking at you, not to you.</p>
<p>I prefer small social gatherings too – dinner at someone’s home, or one on one with a girlfriend over coffee.</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>Yes. People have asked me before how I can seem so at ease at parties or other functions when I claim to be rather shy and reserved, and your statement above is key. I told my daughters when they complained about never knowing what to say at functions where they don’t know many people to ask people about themselves. I told them “people generally love to talk about themselves, so if they give you cues about their interests, ask them open ended questions about it. They’ll start talking, and then you may find you have common interests or the conversation may digress into some common ground. At the very least, they are talking, you are learning, and there is no uncomfortable silence.”</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>And “boors”. </p>
<p>
</p>
<p>If memory serves, the OP starts threads with a common theme: the injustice of how “mean” people are rewarded while the nice guy finishes last. OP has been advised over and over that you can’t control other people, only your reactions, that one is best to not worry about others but surround oneself with good positive people, success is the best reward, etc. but score keeping is big with her. In these threads, she seems to focus heavily on how unfair it is when so and so is rewarded with popularity when she does this or that or doesn’t do this or that, etc. “Don’t let the jerks get you down” just doesn’t seem to help. </p>
<p>
</p>
<p>Being introverted has nothing to do with being uninterested in others.</p>
<p>As to what defines or characterizes an introvert vs. an extrovert:</p>
<p>DH loves our home, but sees it as “that nice place you go to rest up for the fun stuff you do later.” DH is VERY social, loves being busy “out there,” likes to go, see, do. Loves a party, does not like to be alone.</p>
<p>I, on the other hand, while being very comfortable in social situations, have no problem with public speaking, and find others quite interesting, nevertheless see my home as my “sanctuary.” My first instinct is ALWAYS to stay home, comfy in my solitude or with my family. I can be coaxed out, but I almost never initiate it as my first preference is to stay happily ensconced in my sanctuary.</p>
<p>Are other introverts like this? I’ve never taken the Myers-Briggs to my knowledge, so have no idea where I fall.</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>Yes, me too. But I find that if I indulge this too much, I start to get isolated and depressed. So I plan things for every day that get me out of the house and provide some interaction with other people. I don’t work outside the home so it’s too easy for me to overdo the solitude (especially when the kids are away at college, because my husband works long hours and travels often, so sometimes I’m home by myself for days or a week at a time).</p>
<p>I do have some kind of “homing” instinct - I need a safe place to settle, to be a sanctuary, as a poster above said. This applies on every scale - I need a home base in the city I’m living in, I need a home base at work, a “default” place to be, if I’m traveling, I far prefer to have a “base city” and take day trips than to move from city to city. I don’t know if that is associated with introversion necessarily - I actually like being outside, in large cities, alone, so it’s not being outside or around other people that’s the issue. I enjoy the anonymity and the alone time. Some cities are just the wrong size for me - if there is neither a crowd to disappear into nor a quiet space for myself, I just cannot get comfortable (Philly, I’m looking at you - but there are other cities too.)</p>
<p>Nrsbd4, hhmmmm I thought a “boor” was a country bumpkin or someone who was unrefined. Note: I live in the “country” myself!</p>
<p>^^^^HarvestMoon1, it can be.</p>
<p>I see a loudmouth, conversation hog as a “rude, unmannerly person.”</p>
<p>boor<br>
/bo͝or/
Noun</p>
<pre><code>A rude, unmannerly person.
A clumsy person.
</code></pre>
<p>Synonyms
churl - lout - peasant - bumpkin - cad - chuff</p>
<p>Aren’t most of the extroverts out partying while we introverts are posting on CC?</p>