My son is “gifted” - whatever that means…and is in all AP classes…wants to be a musical theatre student…IMO he does have talent…that said…I am not rich…lots of his preferred schools are out of state and private. So …I am a public school teacher, single parent mom…my main financial contribution is to organize/find scholarships for him to apply for…and HE ACTS LIKE I AM REQUIRING HIM TO CUT OFF A LIMB!!
5 of his 6 classes are AP, he is volunteering his time to the local middle school as assistant director of their drama club play as well as directing/teaching an “improv” group every Friday. He is volunteering at least 10 hours a week to a community youth theatre group…as technical/stage/prosthetic/make up director - for Sussical (he is not performing in it) as well as volunteering for local school (private or charter- not sure) who is doing Shrek - he is doing prosthetics and make-up for that.
He is also president of his thespian society thing at his high school and is going to be performing at state competition in March. Also has an audition in NC (last and final, thank God) in March. Now he tells me he auditioned and was accepted into a local community theatre production of Godspell…I get it …nice change from having to pay to be in a production to possibly making a little $).
So today I let him know his car that he does all these activities with are in MY NAME, and we will discuss what the car will and will not be used for. My question…asking for input/advice…is which volunteer/opportunity should I tell him he needs to end…in order to continue to have the car? The hours that will create and open up, will be used for working on scholarships.
Set a budget on what you will pay for college. Your son should be looking for scholarships if he really wants to fill the gap…not you.
Regarding the car…it’s yours. It needs to be available when you need it…with gas in the tank.
I would suggest he find a friend to carpool with.
Your community theater pays it’s actors? Really? Ours are volunteers.
Your son is getting some good experience, which he will need.
Best advice to prospective theater majors…make sure they get a lot of technical theater experience. That is where they can actually earn a living wage.
Thanks Thumper1 for support - I needed support, but when I go to his dad…I get support combined w/critique of my parenting skills. I have to put my foot down, you are right about tech experience, luckily he is getting that (lighting/sound/stage manager) from his volunteer duties at the middle school.
Car is 2nd car…his dad gave it to him but put it in my name. I’m ready to use that leverage. The theatre job is ? not sure what the word is…but one step up from community theatre? lowest level of professional theatre level. I am not a theatre geek…so all I know is what son tells me. I think there is something about profit sharing. I work at the Middle school right by his high school, so no problem dropping him off for school, he can walk to the middle school …it dismisses 1 hour later than his school. Yes…his resume looks great, but (thanks for support) I realize now he has to put the hours in on scholarship apps and give up some of the extra curricular stuff.
In my opinion, it would be a serious mistake for him to divert a lot of time from school or activities to apply for outside scholarships. Apart from ones sponsored by local community organizations, most of them are about as easy to win as the lottery and can take up a lot of time that really should be spent on looking for colleges that provide financial aid or scholarships. I’m not saying not to do the scholarship applications, but if he needs a good amount of financial aid to afford college then he/your family really should be researching colleges that provide substantial scholarships.
There are some links [url=<a href=“http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/financial-aid-scholarships/848226-important-links-to-automatic-guaranteed-merit-scholarships-p1.html%5Dhere%5B/url”>http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/financial-aid-scholarships/848226-important-links-to-automatic-guaranteed-merit-scholarships-p1.html]here[/url] to help guide the search.
I’m not too sure what’s going on with the car. Do you have a problem with his use of the car or just the fact that he’s not focusing on the things that you want him to focus on? If his use of the car is a burden or an inconvenience to you I would say so, but if your problem is with the activities that he is engaging in then I would talk about that first before using the car as leverage. After all, as thumper1 points out he can always carpool or get a ride from friends if you tell him that he can’t use the car any more, so if the real concern is that he’s spending too much time on extracurricular activities then you should make that clear and lay down the ground rules upfront instead of hoping that taking away/restricting the car will make him lose interest in these time-consuming activities.
mom2collegekids and thumper1- he is a HS senior. He did 7 auditions in Chicago a few weeks ago…waiting to hear back. UCF audition (where almost everything would be paid for - in state) was last weekend. One more audition to go… Western Carolina University. where Terrance Mann and Charlotte D’Amboise run one of there Musical Theatre Intensives during he summer- (awesome, he learned so much and I cried during showcase…he had grown talent wise so much in 2 weeks) Terrence Mann (original Broadway “Beast”, recent in Pippen, now in some TV series in production) is considered part of faculty at WCU…also son’s Dad & I both went there…little school in a little NC valley). Here is their link…if anyone is interested: http://www.triplearts.com/
I’m trying to figure out what’s obnoxious about this kid’s behavior. He’s in all APs, is working a ton of volunteer hours, and has a paying job in his chosen profession. Just sit him down and tell him what you can afford to contribute to his education costs and that he’ll be responsible for anything beyond that. I don’t get the point of holding his car for ransom unless it is to totally alienate him in his few remaining months in your home.
The worst that will happen? Son won’t get the money he needs to attend his top choice(s) and has to make a decision to either accept a better scholarship at a lower-ranked school or take a gap year to work and apply for scholarships in earnest. When confronted with the reality of being left at home when their friends are taking off for college most kids will kick things into gear. Working with your son to help him find balance instead of in opposition to him will IMHO result in a better outcome.
I think that all the activities he’s involved in are worthwhile. It doesn’t sound like he’s obnoxious, just very passionate. A lot of parents would love for their kids to be so involved.
You are right. I am blessed with a hardworking kid…he just wasn’t working hard on what “I” felt was important. I think I’ll still research scholarships…present them to him to do with what he will. It is so hard giving up control of what I feel is the “best” approach. Part of learning to let go I guess.
Op,
Applying to little scholarships takes a lot of time and doesn’t yield much money. Better way to go is to
Get merit scholarships from the colleges that kid is applying to usually based on higher stats relative to the other applicants to the college and usually applies more to private colleges
Apply for financial aid using the FAFSA (for all colleges) and the CSS profile (for many private colleges)
I don’t know much about scholarships, but you might want to look at
fastweb
and
cappex
for scholarships
and try to collect a few nominal scholarships.
Again, they might award $500 or so versus a $10000 scholarship (and multiply by 4 years) that he might get by merit at a private college. There is a financial aid and scholarship section on cc. Also a college major, musical theater, section on cc.
it probably would be more cost effective if he had a job,if you really need him to contribute more to college expenses than taking maximum loans and working on campus, rather than spend the time seeking outside merit aid in musical theatre. Most money actually comes from the schools. Are the schools where he has applied, affordable?
If the issue is he is too busy to do scholarship apps…yes, it may be that most are hard to get and not much money and maybe only for a year. BUT the easiest ones to get are local and in our area often one app will do for a dozen or so local scholarships. There’s a great list of these at http://www.phoenix.edu/tuition_and_financial_options/scholarships/external-scholarships.html
D did a couple of local ones and was able to reuse some of her app essays, her HS resume, etc so it didn’t take much time.