I can’t believe you would take a kid out of an EC just to work on scholarship applications. If he wants to do them he will find the time. Much, much better to have the theater experience no matter what his future major is than to work on scholarship apps, which can’t be worse than college apps. The world will not come to an end if he doesn’t apply to every possible scholarship, especially since he likely wouldn’t get them anyhow. Better to have his last hurrah with the local theater work. Much better memories decades later.
The other issue with scholarships is that they tend to reduce the financial aid the colleges will give. They are often not allowed to be part of the parent’s EFC. Some schools will allow them to replace loans, but many to reduce the grant aid the school gives. That is, your required contribution will not change even with the small scholarships.
By the way, my HS senior is being annoying and uncommunicative. As some have said, it is was they do to make it easier for both you and for them to be gone next year!
Good luck!
Wow. Just, wow.
I think you have to have more faith in your son. He seems to have a much better grasp of what it will take to be successful in his chosen field than you do. You said you have little to no knowledge about the theater industry, yet you’re acting like his choices have no value.
You also said you were hoping to hear stories of parents whose kids are behaving obnoxiously. I have two teenage girls, and they are occasionally obnoxious. It is part of growing up that they test rules and boundaries. It is how you meet these challenges that make a difference. I may want to privately tear my hair out (even as I’m watching it get grayer every day), but neither kid needs a parent who is threatening them, bullying them, or being irrational.
Remaining outwardly calm in the face of a hormonal tempest and trying your best to listen to why they want to do things the way they want to do it is usually a safe bet, even if it’s wicked hard to do. And in your case, I’m not even seeing a kid being hormonally irrational or tempestuous; I’m just seeing a kid who knows where he wants to go and is struggling with why you’re trying to control him to the extent you are.
I’m not sure what the problem is. If he is forced to work on scholarship applications, it’s doubtful he’ll win them. Also it is doubtful there are many opportunities this late in the game for a senior.
At the very worst, he applied to a bunch of schools and he might not get in or he might not get sufficient FA.
If either is true, it sounds like those “ECs that are taking up his time” might serve him really well. A year’s experience teaching and acting is not a bad thing, as compared to paying too much for him to go to college.
Remember this OP - when he does go to college, you will have NO control over what he does or doesn’t do. You can pull the plug on a too expensive college. You can tell him you can’t afford college in fall of this year, and that he can work. But after that, once he is in college, it is up to him what to do.
I agree with the sentiment that sometimes our kids seem awful flippant or cavalier about this “going to college” thing. Like, we don’t want to stress them out about the costs, but how can we impress upon them that it was free for them to go to public high school, and not free to go to college?
I just wanted to say thank you to all who replied to my post. While some things were hard to hear at the time, I took them to heart, and backed off and looked at the big picture. I realized how silly I was being and that I was reacting more to my “pending empty nest” issues as well as struggling with letting go of control. I truly think your honest replies kept me from damaging my relationship with my son. I am happy to report he did get into the UCF musical theatre program and got a great academic scholarship, plus money from our instate “Bright Futures” program, which makes his education very affordable. He did get 2 small scholarships from the ones I hounded him into applying for prior to my original post, which will help with books and miscellaneous needs. He & I both survived. He is excited about college and I am happy for him. Thanks again, now I must go find either a boyfriend or another cat to adopt. 
OP, thanks for writing a detailed update. Not everyone is able to process and heed the advice that is so contrary to their own opinion. I’m glad it all worked out so well for you and your son. I was sure I would not survive my first child going off to college, but I did. It is a journey, though, and you will appreciate over time how your child grows and matures with each new experience.
Thanks for updating. I always think it helps future readers to see how things work out.
Ahhh, nice you came back to let us know how things are.
Since your DS is staying in-state, pack less than more. You can take him shopping later. I Bought my son a mattress topper and robe and lots of supplies he didn’t need. My son kept saying he didn’t care about sheets and such, so I shopped and made a pile. The evening before leaving, we stopped in BB&b for one thing, and he ended up choosing sheets and comforter. We came home, washed the new items, and packed. (Others got returned). Looking back, he had his own apprehensions about leaving home and shopping was the last thing he wanted to do.
Stay calm and collected.
well, at least his sheets have been washed * once*!