<p>^Consolation, I have been thinking so much about the first responders. I cannot even imagine how heart-wrenching and horrifying it must have been to have to see what they saw. They are going to need a LOT of support…apparently a number of them have used up all their sick leave dealing with the aftermath of the tragedy. I wonder if there is a way for people to “buy” them some more time.</p>
<p>In the federal government there is a “leave bank” that people can donate to so that those who need the leave can use it. Not sure whether state governments have such an option as well. A friend who had chemo was grateful to make use of the “leave bank” when she had exhausted her paid sick leave. It is a good idea – hopefully one could be created if none currently exists.</p>
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<p>Agreed. Does anyone know if there is a fund set up specifically for this purpose? I’m always hesitant to send money if I’m not completely sure that the money is going to go for the intended purpose. I’ve not seen anything about a fund set up for first responders, but if any of you know of such, please pass that info along. Thanks.</p>
<p>I’m really sad that all the memorials were for twenty-six victims, not twenty-seven. The shooter’s mother was brutally murdered by the son she loved and cared for. She was a victim too.</p>
<p>And on some level, you’ve got to feel bad for the other son and his dad. The guilt, the grief, the second guessing of maybe they should have seen it coming.</p>
<p>I still feel angry about what happened, especially when I think of children I know who are the age of those who were killed. One child I’ve thought of a lot is the little girl next door, a first-grader. I’ve been thinking of her, and of other children I know, over the holidays. When I do, my stomach actually clenches at the thought of something awful happening to one of them. She just stopped by a little while ago with her pet rabbit, to let me pet it. Those children who were killed were no less precious than she is.</p>
<p>Classof2015, I do feel awful for the brother and father of the killer. I can’t imagine what they must be feeling.</p>
<p>By this point I am both angry and numb, numb at just how overwhelmingly evil this was, and angry that quite frankly, no one wants to look at this as a wakeup call on many fronts, and instead we have political posturing, bluster, from all sides and quite honestly, looks like nothing will get done, and that has me angry as hell.</p>
<p>I think – and no I didn’t not go right up on the altar to get an exact count – but at the Saint Rose of Lima RC church on Christmas morning there were 28 small candles in white glass votives. If I saw this correctly (and I was in the third pew) 27 of them had names inscribed, including Nancy Lanza which I definitely saw, and a blank votive next to hers on the far left. </p>
<p>The celebrant, in his homily, spoke eloquently about how one mother told her older son that his sister would not be coming home. Among other things, she told him “Do not let hatred into your heart.”</p>
<p>I think there should be 28 candles. This is someone’s son, someone’s brother. He was recently also a child and a young man that his family loved and had hopes for. Unfortunately, he was mentally ill. No one can explain why he did this–it is a horrible, senseless crime and a tragedy. Still, I wish them ALL to be at peace, even Adam Lanza.</p>
<p>I’d like to see this thread get away from pointing blame. </p>
<p>Although “what caused this” is a very valid area to hypothesize about, that is not the point of THIS thread. This thread was for people to share how they feel affected by this tragedy - whether they had any connection or not - and what they’re doing to help themselves and others feel better.</p>
<p>We were working really hard to keep off the blame/causes part of this so we could keep a thread open to discuss how people felt on this. But it has moved into a blame/information on mental health/weapons access thread (again). Just don’t want to lose this thread, too… if you start another one, then you can just lose your own thread if you go too far.</p>
<p>Thanks, intparent.</p>
<p>Maybe we can concentrate on some things that we CAN do in the wake of this. As I mentioned, I teach in an elementary school. The Monday after the shooting, we met with our principal to discuss what happened and to discuss moving forward on improvements to our school’s security. I raised my hand and said that the biggest problem in our lock down procedure is the fact that our classroom doors only lock from the outside with a key. This means that we have to find our key, step into the hallway with the door open, lock it and step back inside, pulling the door closed behind us. In my case and many others, there are two doors to the hall that will need to be dealt with.
The vice principal, who survived the shooting, was interviewed the other day and she said that the most important thing we can do to secure our buildings is to make the doors lockable from the inside. I gather that to mean that Sandy Hook had doors like we do.
I plan to email our superintendent, at the risk of sounding paranoid, and tell him that we are not safe until this is remedied. They can spend all kinds of money on cameras and swipe cards, etc., but until they fix the doors, it isn’t enough.
Maybe this is something that we can do right now. Insist that our local schools make this adjustment.</p>
<p>I am bothered by the lawsuit filed.</p>
<p>Who filed a lawsuit?</p>
<p>Agreeing with the posters who said we should keep this thread as a place to share emotions. I still feel punched-in-the-gut sadness and I am sure others do as well.</p>
<p>It was filed for a Jill Doe a 6 year old in another room who heard the shots and sounds over the intercom. The suit was filed against the State for $100 million.</p>
<p>^^ Seems to me that the suit should be filed against Nancy Lanza’s estate.</p>
<p>Psychmom, hopefully, the posters were typing while you posted??? PLEASE return this post to the orginal intent. During the Christmas season, the numbers of people attending mass always increases, but all of the masses are crowded. People grieve, feel a sense of loss and need to come together. Our parish priests who assisted in the notification to the families have visibly aged. We went to my mom’s parish for Christmas Eve mass. The children performed the Nativity gospel. Many were dressed as angels, people were openly crying and holding hands. A few people that I know were reciepients of “random acts of kidness” that spurred them to do likewise. If we could hold on to some of these feelings and as we heal, put our grief to good works.</p>