Why?
That is so so disparaging. Do you realize how contemptuous this sounds?
This girl managed to do so much with so little, managed to make it to a great college (I assume), and here you are assuming that her entire purpose is to somehow “trap” your son?
This woman, who, despite a long list of obstacles, did very well in elementary, middle, and high school, and managed to get into the same college that your son attends. Do you honestly believe that her entire purpose was to “trap” some dude? I’m sure that your son is great, but I don’t believe that he is the goal that this woman envisioned all the years in which she struggled through school.
Between the two of them, this woman is the one with the strength tenacity, grit, and ambition.
Are you proud of your son’s achievement in being accepted to this college? Now imagine how much more difficult it was for her. That is the person who you seem to believe is Not Worthy of your son.
She sounds like an amazing young woman, and your son is lucky that she is interested in him.
Yes, her family is toxic, and, if that toxicity starts impacting your son, because the woman is unable to detach herself, he may need to reevaluate their relationship. However, that is in the future. In the meantime, try to look at the woman herself, not who you believe that she is, based on the stories you heard about her family.
Besides, she seems pretty ambitious, and there is a good chance that her own path will diverge from your son’s before long.