I don't know what to do (HS Sophomore)

Pre-College Topics High School Life
1

Please help me figure out what on earth I should do with my life at the moment.

I am enrolled at a technical school, where the schedule is like this:

1-3: Your trade (I am in Electrical)
4-7: Science , social studies, language arts, and math.

Science is only 3 credits, so I presume I only take 3 of the 4 science subjects. I do not choose.
Biology (Enrolled in)
Earth Science (Taken)
Physics
Chemistry

Math is 4 credits. I was unable to skip to Geometry in freshmen year, which is my first screw-up in this place.
Algebra 1 (Taken)
Geometry (Enrolled)
Algebra 2
Trig
Calculus (Only for students who’ve taken algebra 1 freshmen year)
Consumer math

Language arts is only English. There are no foreign studies ( Something I didn’t find out till later, which is one mistake of selecting this school)

History is 3.5 credits. I think it is only American and world history we learn.

We take P.E senior year.

Okay, so now that my schedule is out of the way I’ll tell you why I’m stuck right now, from the beginning.

In 8th grade I failed writing first quarter, simply because I didn’t turn in an essay that I didn’t know I had because I was sick. It was too late to make up, and overall my gpa was a 2.8 . I applied for Collegiate Academy, the best school in the city, and overall an amazing school, but was rejected by 20 points. I blame my rejection on that failing grade. 1st mistake

So I go to Central (2nd best school), enroll in Electrical technology, and find out I applied for honors too late (Ticket to being in Geometry in freshmen year). 2nd mistake

I realize I hate my trade, but was convinced by friends to stay in it ( I don’t hate the trade, I dislike the teacher and the teaching method. I feel as though I am learning nothing). I can’t switch now, as it’s my 2nd year. 3rd mistake

I am not physically fit, and always have been. So the few sports that my school offers I can not join. Same goes for clubs, as there are none. Only a few school programs that I never knew existed until now. I am in two, SkillsUSA and another program which my teacher won’t let me go to. 4th mistake

My grades are fine, and I’m in 3 honors classes. My gpa is around a 3.6 I’m guessing. It would be hire if it wasn’t for my trade class, which I got a 81.I know I should work harder but since my school is exceptionally poor, I can’t bring any textbooks home as the school is afraid of them being broken or stolen, so I have no material to study from except my paper notes. I barely can read them anyhow since my handwriting is ass. 5th mistake

My school offers 0 ap classes that I can tell, though my friend said there was one language arts ap class, though I doubt it.

I am to lazy to do anything outside of school, like volunteering. I plan on getting a job, though. I just got my working papers.

Now for the more personal stuff

I’m lazy as you can tell , I don’t know what I want to do with my life and I am usually depressed and constantly making myself feel like shit because of how much of a useless being I am. I am pretty much anti-social except for the few friends I’ve made, and waste most of my time watching anime or web browsing.

I took to researching colleges, and came up with a few I want to go . All in state. I’m torn between choosing a college in/near my city (quite a few) or going away from this city. I want the latter, even if it costs more then my family (Brother, Mom. Everyone else hates us) and I can afford. I want to get away from this city, and away from all the bullshit. I doubt I can get into any of the ones I want to go to, and am indecisive about what I want to do. (Something well payed, many jobs, and having to do with computers is as far as I can go).

I’m naturally smart, as I am told .I get a’s and b’s without studying (as I am incapable), but from what I see that isn’t enough. Plus my school doesn’t offer any language classes, or ap classes so I’m going to automatically have a tough time getting into colleges.

I guess that’s about it for me. First world problems, eh? I was planning on switching to collegiate, but I can’t until the next year. Plus the entire city’s schools are going to be closed December 31st due to this budget bullshit, including the entire state of Pennsylvania.

So basically I don’t know what to do, or how to do it. I want to get my life on track, but this city doesn’t offer me anything to do so. I’m in the wrong place and in the wrong time.

So if there is anyone who thinks they can help me at all get on track I’d be very much appreciative. I’ll gladly give more information if need be.

2

1° See now what pre-reqs there are for AP English Language. it’s likely and A or A- in English. MAKE SURE you have that grade. If it’s the only AP offered, you won’t be hurt in admissions.
2° You can take foreign language classes online. Look into Florida Virtual School, for instance, or K12. You’d have to start now, complete a course by the end of April, start another course in May and complete it by the end of august, and finish with level 3 next year.
If your parents have some money (it doesn"t sound like it, but…) you can attend a Concordia Language camp this summer, then take one year of Florida Virtual school Foreign Language (level 3) next and be good for most universities.
3° Keep your grades up. Think of your trade classes as a “hoop” you’re jumping to get out of your town.
4° Find a job or a place where you can volunteer.
5° Take up yoga. Seriously, it’s a sport, and it’ll stand out on your applications because not many HS students do it. It’s non competitive. Not sure whether your YMCA would offer it, but look into it.
6° Inquire on Monday whether your school has TRIO, or Upward Bound, or AVID. If it does, join.
7° Create an Anime club. :slight_smile:
8° If you are 15, apply to Milton Hershey School - this year would be the last you can apply, since the oldest an applicant can be is 15.
http://www.mhskids.org/admissions/
9° Write down your textbooks’ titles and references while at school. Then find a couple (math, English) on amazon in the used books category. You can get some books for $4-5. Keep those books at home.
10° you’ll be in calculus senior year, which is good.

3

Do you think you might benefit from seeing a therapist to help the feelings of depression? Is it to that extent? Might that be the reason you find it hard to study?

4

I went to a high school like that. Ended up doing pretty well at college admissions - I basically had my essay topic picked for me.

If you’re applying to mostly in-state schools, unless one of them is a nationally-ranked flagship, I wouldn’t worry too much about extracurriculars. State schools tend to be very stats-focused. Although FWIW Harvard seemed to be pretty impressed with my SkillsUSA accomplishments, so if do want to be involved in something you could do a lot worse than that.

5

I can’t study because I have nothing to study from except my almost illegible handwriting which only I can usually read, and I never write down clear notes in the first place. Plus I can’t even write notes, only the ones assigned to us to write. There simply isn’t enough time.

6

Can you bring a cheap laptop or tablet to school and type your notes?

see if you can meet with a tutor about that.
You need to use the whole page, have different colors (for the outline, like I, A, B, II A, B, III A, B…; for the ideas; to underline or highlight…) Try to write legibly, very big, and to avoid cramming onto the line or the page.

Can you rephrase? I don’t understand what you mean.

Have you looked into ordering a few used books through Amazon?

7

I don’t plan on getting into some amazing school , but I really want to go to penn state or university of pittsburgh.

What I can do in skills I can’t. There is many better electricians which will be sent to competitions, I’d probably be down the list. My class is the last class in the Electrical technology, as it is turning into construction trades. Juniors and seniors will most likely be the ones sent to competition, and even if sophomores would be able to go, there are at least 3 more capable people for it.

That’s another thing, essays. I tried taking a psat online and I couldn’t even write the essay because it pissed me off so bad. I can write essays how teachers want and get 100%'s but those types of essays I can’t do. Essays where they ask me a question and I have to answer it without any sources besides my brain. It’s a matter of opinion and they are mostly looking for proper use of grammar, and a higher use of vocabulary, but I still can’t seem to write anything.

I don’t know if my depression is affecting me at all. Some days I feel suicidal, and some days I feel perfectly normal. Talking to someone would involve me communicating with my brother and mom which would just make everything awkward and I’d regret it. I’m better if left alone from what I can tell

8

You’ve got a 3.6, you’re doing fine. If you still need a boost, buy one or more of your textbooks online; you can ask for it for Christmas if you want.

Also I would second what @MYOS1634 said about an anime club as a potential EC. One of my ECs was a Magic: The Gathering group.

9

Bring a cheap laptop? It’d probably be stolen. I’m not watchful of my stuff and I forget items easily. Knowing my school, something gets stolen every day.

And to rephrase:

They assign us notes, and tell us to do them for classwork to keep and study for the test. They generally aren’t helpful, and there isn’t enough time to write notes of my own.

Plus, the school doesn’t allow electronics out during a teaching period. They’d tell me to put it away even if it was for education purposes.

10

I generally understand the material. The one good thing about this school is that there is constantly extra help days for each period, so if I don’t understand the math (generally the only thing I need help on) I just go in after school. I only mess up on the tests, as I misread or misunderstand the problem.

I can’t start a club. My principle is pretty lazy, or at least she has so much work that she can’t seem to do a simple thing as to establish one. A friend of mine has a group of people who are trying to start a anime club, and have been trying for months. They’ve like 20 signatures.

11

I’d really talk to your guidance counselor about your depression. It sounds like it’s serious, and it’s getting in your way in more than a few ways. He or she might be able to refer you to low- or no-cost therapy if your family has trouble paying for it.

12

I’d rather not have my family worry about me. It’d make for an awkward situation.

13

Committing suicide would arguably be more awkward. Depression sucks. You don’t have to live like that.

14

I didn’t even see Myos’s post, sorry.

  1. I'll check it out
  2. I looked into some foreign language online but none of them appealed to me. I generally gave up soon after. It's not that I'm not motivated, as I want to learn a new language. Especially Japanese. I'll check those out though.
  3. That's honestly quite difficult. We need to do 3 projects to get 10 measly points, and that takes me around a week and a half, or a week if I'm motivated. I used to be able to do a project every 2 days, but I'm not there anymore. Some kids can do 2 projects a day and it angers me. Then we have tests every week, where we can't study and generally chapters are 50+ pages long and our teacher just reads it to us with the most monotone voice I've ever heard so I can't help but force my self to stay awake, let a lone pay attention. I am the only one to pass one of his tests this year, though.
  4. I am going to apply to Burger King and Tops, as they are close. Everything else is too far away.
  5. I think I'd die. I barely am able to do a set of pushups and situps without dying.
  6. Never heard of those
  7. Stated before
  8. I am 16
  9. I doubt it be worth it, those books were from the 90's. I unfortunately don't have the will to do anything at home by myself, either.
  10. I won't be. I'll be taking trig senior year. If I was in Geometry freshmen year I'd take calc. I was thinking about doing dual enrollment if my school offers it during the summer for Algebra 2, then I should qualify for calculus.
15

@Carto738 Regardless of whether or not you want to get your family involved, you need to. My daughter has depression, anxiety, and made an attempt. She would have not attempted if I had known. Please get help before even considering suicide.

16

To be frank there’d be no way in hell I’d commit suicide. I am fortunately a pussy lol. Depression does suck but what really sucks is I don’t even know for sure if I am depressed, just everything I am points to it.

17

Trio, Upwards bound, etc, are programs to help lower income kids with college preparation and college readiness, which is the reason you posted here. Your school should have one.

Is there any way you can transfer to another school?

18

I could transfer to collegiate like I said, but not until next year. I haven’t heard of any of those programs in my school:
http://www.eriesd.org/central

19

Please get help whether it’s talking to your parent, guidance counsellor, teacher, pediatrician, any trusted adult. You don’t have to live this way.
I have OCD and when things starting getting bad, I didn’t want to tell my parents either. But it couldn’t bear it any longer so I told my mom. It was one of the best decisions I’ve made in a really long time. Once you see a therapist, they can’t even tell your parents what you’ve told then without your consent (unless your in serious imminent danger) Even if you don’t have a mental illness, therapists can still help with whatever you are going through.

20

If your family is dysfunctional, is there another trusted adult (guidance counselor, teacher, imam/priest/rabbi/pastor, social worker, Boys/Girls Club person…) you can talk to?