Before i start, i just want to say i am a freshman in college, finished my first semester. Going to go back in two days. I am so scared, to go back. I live about an hour away from school.
The first semester was really hard, with the whole transition to college. The beginning of college i cried because i missed being home. During that time i made four friends that were on my floor. That was my squad and i never had a squad before and it was nice. Well one of the girls has decided to transfer after this year of school, so i won't be able to see her. Another girl, she has changed so much, i never see her again like i use to because she always wants to hang out with the guys on our floor. So me and the last girl from the squad hangout a lot because thats all the friends i have and i don't want to sit in my dorm room. (I also want to note that i have a dorm room to myself.) Because i will start thinking about things and start crying and then have a panic attack. Which i have had from being at college. Ive never had panic attacks before i came to college. I cried so much in my first semester i have gone through four tissue boxes. My anxiety is through the roof when i am there at school, it makes it worse when i am now at home thinking about next semester and how i won't be able to be home and see my family and friends. I have been feeling i lost the happy person i was in high school. When i first visited my university i never really fell in love with it. I liked a different university more which was 20 minutes away from home and it was 5 minutes from my brothers college. But it was to expensive for my parents, which i understand, and my school i go to now was better for my major. But i dropped that major because it was not what i wanted. I have been thinking of transferring to a community college that i know more of my friends from high school go to. But i think that going to the community college, it would be a step back then just staying at my university I'm at now. I also have know idea what i want to major in. I am a person that doesn't like to party and do all that other stuff. My university is to far to commute i already checked with the school. So right now i am thinking i would either do college online or go to the community college. At the beginning of winter break when i came home i felt relief and happy inside me instead of sadness and lost.
I am not a person that makes friends easy. I am very quiet and i have social anxiety as well. I have talked with the guys on our floor, but i was with my one friend (that disappeared) but all of them became really good friends with her and not me. The classes are ok at my university, i mean i passed my classes. I just want some advice because i don’t know what to do. I don’t know if i will be happy to do online classes because i might need in class room experience. But i would be at home. If i commute to the community college which is only 20 minutes from my house i would have the in classroom experience and i would be at home, but would i be putting my self two steps back if i go. If i stay at my university, would it be worth it, for all the crying and anxiety i will have with homework, friends and classes. During the first semester i told my mom i hated it here, this was the first month, but she told me to give it a year and see how it goes. But i did ask her again before break and she told me to try to get involved in the campus, but she will still let me transfer if i really wanted to. After i was there for a year.
If you are this unhappy, you definitely should be seeing a counselor. But also you should talk more to your mother. Tell her the extent of your unhappiness. You have not returned yet so you can get tuition back for 2nd semester. See if your mom will let you enroll in community college for a semester while you decide what to do. There are way too many unhappy and depressed students in colleges these days. I would not advise a student to put him or her self in a position they know already will be depressogenic.
I’m thinking of going to CC after I finish this quarter at university. It’s honestly not a step back because you’re literally doing the same stuff you would in your first two years at a 4 year( GEs). It would be cheaper also.
I agree with lostaccount that you should see a counselor. If I were you though, I would stay in the school you’re already in. You’re not going to be able to stay under your parents’ roof your entire life. You have 4 years minimum before you have to go out into the real world. What are you going to do then? Go back to your parents and say, “I’m not comfortable out there”? I think a counselor will really help, but also check what resources your college has. I’m sure you aren’t the first student to deal with this problem, advisors on campus will most likely have something to offer you in terms of getting you settled in. This might also lead you to meet like-minded people with similar issues if your school has a support system with students struggling to overcome obstacles such as your own. Getting social also helps a lot. When you’re surrounded by positive people, you can connect with them and maybe confide in them about what’s going on. I’d join some clubs and/or try to find weekly or bi-weekly events on campus to participate in. They’ll help you meet new people while also taking your mind off the stresses and anxiousness being at school brings you.
I’d start off with looking into counseling and finding out what your on-campus advisors have to offer you. This is just my 2 cents, but I don’t think running away from your discomfort will help any. You’re going to have to face this problem eventually, whether it’s while you’re in college or after you’ve graduated. Why not tackle it now? It’ll help make you a stronger person and if you encounter a similar situation down the line, you’ll already have an idea about what to do. Best of luck, OP. I hope you find what works for you and makes you happy
If you are having panic attacks now, caused by your anxiety to return, I think you need to put your semester on hold. Withdraw, but speak with a counselor at your current school so that they are aware of what’s going on so that they can intervene on your behalf if need be.
Get some self-confidence by going to your local CC for the rest of your GE. Be aware that if you received any financial aid and leave now, you won’t be able to get it back.
You need to see a counselor to help with your anxiety. Go home and have your family help you.
Thank you everyone for the responses. I haven’t gotten the chance to tell my mom how i feel because i know what she will say. So i might tell her tomorrow. But i came up with an idea, i will see how the first week goes at my university and if i don’t like anything and still have my anxiety. i will drop out from my university and take a semester off and go to the community college in the fall. I would see if i can go this semester if i choose to drop but the community college has already started classes so i am a little late to join cause i would be behind.