I don't want to be valedictorian

Pre-College Topics High School Cafe
1

Hi. I am junior in a magnet school in Tampa, Florida and I am a very good student (All A’s, decent SAT scores, etc).

Usually, I take my 7 brick-and-mortar school classes and then I go home and take 3 online classes. I am always drowned in constant work and stress. All I worry about is my grades, my scores, and the likes. Well, all of the stress paid off because today I got my transcript and my rank. I am the valedictorian of my class by a great lead.

Only the thing is, about a three months before I got my transcript, I realized something that hit me like a brick; I don’t want this.

Some of my epiphany moments happened on College Confidential itself, scrolling through endless “Chance Me” threads and stroking the egos of “academic maniacs with
4.0 GPAs and 1600 SAT scores.”

I can’t help but feel disgust when I see posts of freshmans worrying if their schedules are rigorous enough even though they are taking every single AP class available, and end the post with “should I add another AP?”

I hated the posts because it was like a mirror was held up to my face. All the invitations I’ve declined, the parties I didn’t attend, the games I never played were thrown in my face and I had that “oh god what have I done” moment. I even stopped hanging out with my adult brother as often and on the night I was supposed to see him, I postponed to do homework. He was murdered while walking to his home from work that night (yes lots of regrets).

I haven’t stopped worrying about school and I’m still a strong student. I just stopped over-stressing about school work and I do the bare minimum now to keep myself at an A and B range. I’m just going with the flow and I have never remembered feeling this great in high school.

Today, I officially-officially-officially drop out of the AP Rat Race. Sure, I’m valedictorian and I understand that’s a HUGE accomplishment, but at what costs? I know some people work themselves bloody to become valedictorian, but it’s not for me. That’s why I did something very controversial— I gave the number one spot away. I talked to the guidance counselor and, although I am still number one, number two will give the speech and claim the valedictorian title. Some people thought I was crazy giving up my title, but I felt a 100 pounds lifted off my shoulders.

Now, I speak more, hang out with friends at lunch instead of doing homework/studying, go out to movies instead of watching Khan Academy videos, and I feel less toxic.

My piece of advice: get out. The mentality of over-doing it and always aiming for perfection is harmful. This quarter, I am going to receive my first B’s and honestly I have never felt prouder. Hang out with your families and friends because they could not be here tomorrow.

I don’t know the point of this post. I just hope I can convince someone to not make the same mistakes I have and to just have fun, because high school’s about having fun too.

-Sincerely,
Words from a wise junior

2

Thank you very much for this post @TainoNaiboa! It seriously must have taken a lot of time and effort not only to study and get the grades you received but to write this letter to all of us on College Confidential.

I think this post is crucial for people to look at on this website. I recommend it for pinning! Sadly, I don’t have the power to do this.

Again, thanks for this. I wish the best of luck for you!

Have a good day!

3

Wow, this is really brave of you and I’m glad that you made the right decision.

4

@TainoNaiboa enjoy your new life, you don’t need to be the number 1, just you need to be happy to be successful.
Good luck.

5

Good for you. When my son was entering junior in high school, I discouraged him from going for the valedictorian honor. You don’t need to be valedictorian in order to be admitted to top schools. My son studied hard, but he also attended homecomings, parties, football games, proms and other social events. I wanted to make sure that he enjoyed all that high school had to offer.

6

Being a valedictorian was the furthest thing from my kid’s and our minds even as a freshman because there are just too many smart and diligent kids in his high school. Realistically, the best our kid could have done was top 3%, and he graduated top 5% so he did well. What I am saying is if you can be the valedictorian at your HS through a lot of effort, you probably can do other things and still be in top 5%., so it’s good you are easing up. For my kid, if he eased up, he probably would have dropped to top 30% or lower. I mean 60% to 70% of kids are in Honor Rolls. Lol. But I applaud your self recognition. I think you are doing it right.

7

From Shakespeare: “Be not afraid of greatness: some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon 'em.”

–From Twelfth Night (II, v, 156-159)

If its thrust upon you, you accept graciously, and think what you have to contribute. I never went after it, but at times the fates have something in store for you, and when that happens, like everything else in life, you step up, not back.