<p>I’m an undergrad at Stanford, currently a junior from the DC area. I took a quarter off my sophomore year to travel to South America with a program(not study abroad). So I’ve been having a rough time at school, this was my dream school I thought, but I’m simply not happy here. Many of you guys might read this and jump to the conclusion that I was a waste of an acceptance or I’m squandering an opportunity…The latter might be true, but I feel like I am talented and smart but I just am not emotionally in the right place and mature enough to really make use of all the resources at Stanford. This past quarter was rough, I was so depressed I barely went to any classes/social events and didn’t really do much but stay in my room alone, while my roommate was out enjoying his life. I was already on the last string of probation and knew I would get suspended if I didn’t do my work, but it was almost like I didn’t care. I ended up getting suspended. Now I can’t go back to school for a year…I don’t know what to do…I was going to be a human biology major, but I’ve failed some of the core classes so that doesn’t seem realistic anymore. The crazy part is I didn’t try and fail, I simply didn’t do the work and blew it of…It sucks that I won’t be able to graduate on time, (plus I’ve already taken a quarter off)and on top of that everybody back at home in DC is going to be so disappointed in me. I feel like this suspension is almost a slap in the face telling me I am failing at life. I don’t know what to do or who to turn to, as I feel like everybody will look at me like I’ve wasted a great chance for success. I’m trying to think of ideas for what to do with my year. I don’t want to stay at home the whole year with my parents and brothers, but at the same time I don’t have any money to travel either. Any ideas??? On a positive note, I feel like this year will be a good chance for me to grow up a little bit, get my confidence and joy for life back, and come back refreshed. I’m just trying to figure out how to go about doing that. Its been a little over two years and I still don’t have a core group of friends in college or do I feel like I enjoy it there. The last couple of years have been the most miserable years of my life to be honest, and yet college is supposed to be the best time of my life. I’ve had acquaintances and I feel like many people know me and say hi, but I’m not really close with anyone there. On top of that I don’t know what direction I am headed in professionally, and my gpa is horrible now. My back is against the wall right now, and I feel like giving up but I want to make something out of my situation. Any tips on what I should do with this year to myself? Is there anyway I could travel for free or cheap? Any internships i could get with a horrible college gpa? Thanks for all of your help!</p>
<p>I feel for you, and I empathize. This is how I felt in high school, and it’s no joke.
Isn’t there some sort of emotional counseling service on campus? Those could be helpful.
Also, I think you should try your best to motivate yourself to attend classes. To be honest, it’s not that big a drag, and I’ve actually made some of my best college friends through classes.
How about Greek life? I’m personally not in a frat, but sometimes joining one could help.
You can still salvage your last few years at college! Attend some frat parties and meet people!
No clue what to say about GPA though, mine is pretty damn low as well haha.</p>
<p>I’d work in a supermarket or some other menial job for a year. Trust me that’ll give you a kick in the pants to work harder when you return to Stanford. Also check if you can attend a community college for credits. Maybe also talk to a psychiatrist.</p>
<p>You are right that you were a waste of an acceptance and may have threw away a good opportunity. You need to grow up fast because “not emotionally in the right place” is a ******** excuse. I don’t understand how some people can be so weak.</p>
<p>I am sorry to hear about your situation. It sounds like you have a serious case of depression. Don’t be afraid to seek some professional help. You can survive this situation and come out a much stronger person. A year off certainly can help. You may want to do some volunteer work back in DC. Hopefully your parents will support your situation. With depression you become focused on yourself and your own miserable situation. You need to see how tough others really have it and start focusing outside your own circumstances. Professionals and family can help, but ultimately YOU are the the one that will need to pull your self out of it.
Hopefully the year off will give you a new persepctive and help you understand that you really have some great opportunties that most others don’t have.
I wish you the best.</p>
<p>hey thanks everybody, that sounds like solid advice. And posts from people like cabhax and holden888 are expected. I still haven’t told my parents yet, I’m really scared to tell them because I know they won’t care about my reasons, they will be extremely ****ed and disappointed. And my whole community will think I’m screwing up…but I have to learn to deal with all of the judgement and do what’s best for me and my personal development. We are all different and have our own different breaking points and paths so I feel like this is just another step I have to deal with. And now that I think about it, things could be worse. I just wish I could find the right words to tell my parents, they still think I’m going back in a few weeks</p>
<p>It won’t be easy telling your parents, but you really need to do it now. Initially you may want to tell one parent first if you believe that parent would be more understanding and willing to help you break the news to the other parent. You will need to confront them both. You may want to start by saying you have a big problem and really need his/her help. As a father I would be disappointed and upset and want to know why you didn’t come to me a lot sooner. Ultimately I would want to help my son and I would make professional help part of the deal.
The next few weeks will be tough. One day you will look back at this as a rough patch in your life. Know you can come out of this and lead a very successful life.
Good luck.</p>
<p>You sound as if you’re depressed. You should get help for that. If you haven’t already talked to your parents, you need to have a serious conversation with them pronto.</p>
<p>You should also, absolutely, get a job. You’re an adult, and you’re not in school, so you shouldn’t assume that you will just be sponging off mom and dad. You may not be able to make enough money to live on your own, but at least you should attempt to support yourself. If you are living at home, you should help your parents with chores, upkeep of the house, and so on, and pay them some of your earnings for your room and board. Having a regular, disciplined schedule and obligations like this may even help you with your depression.</p>
<p>I had menial jobs during the summers I was in college, and came back to school excited and motivated to work hard. I realized that in order to have a career with the autonomy and intellectual challenge I craved, I was going to have to get a good education. So that’s one way a job might help you. My son, on the other hand, got a job related to his career interests, but that did not require a college degree. He realizes that he could stay in that job and career track if college doesn’t work out for him, and seems to find that understanding quite liberating. So that’s another way a job might help you. But the real reason to work is that it’s the right thing to do.</p>
<p>Hiking the Appalachian Trail and other travel are appropriate projects for somebody who’s earned the money for them.</p>
<p>Make sure that you file any paperwork that might be necessary now to make your eventual return to Stanford easy. Sometimes it’s necessary to specify that you are taking a leave of absence so that you do not have to re-apply from scratch.</p>
<p>If you’re still on campus, I’d go talk with the counseling center & see what resources they can offer to help you plot your path during your leave of absence. Explain what you’ve written above and see what they say. Even if you’re not on campus, you could still contact them and see what they offer. You are NOT the first student who has had difficulty adjusting and you certainly won’t be the last. Part of the service offered by good Us is counseling and student support services. LET THEM HELP offer you options and advice. They may even be able to refer you to someone in the DC area for more help.</p>
<p>Good luck! You can turn this around so that your year is a productive time, allowing you new insights and time for self-reflection. You can also get a job to earn some money to help support yourself during this time.</p>
<p>getbetter, ignore the flame posts, and even the posts telling you you’re depressed. What is happening right now to you is a spiritual crisis and nothing more. OK? You’re being pushed along a conveyor belt of life (it usually starts at college) and are expected to conform to society’s expectations (including your parents, friends, and from mass media since you were born). What you need to do is act. It doesn’t really matter what you do, but you need to start exploring, on the outside (the world) and on the inside (your inner self) until you line up what you are doing with who you are. Start making mistakes so you know not to do them again and it will put you closer to the direction you really want to be going, and the direction you should be going. It might be a path that has been taken, or it might be one that hasn’t, but you need to find it. Hurry up and find your inner calling, you only have on year.</p>
<p>loserman, you really don’t know that the OP is not depressed. You don’t know that he’s instead just going through a “spiritual crisis.” And if he is depressed, pretending he’s not won’t do him any good. Only the OP can ultimately decide what’s wrong, but he can’t push aside the possibility that he’s depressed. I’ve been depressed before, and it took me a slap in the face, a close friend telling me that I was depressed, for me to even realize it/do something about it.</p>
<p>There’s no such thing as being depressed…it’s just a tool for the psychiatry and pharmaceutical industries to make billions of dollars. Same with ADD and ADHD.</p>
<p>Wow, alright. I never have anything to say to people who say there’s “no such thing” as depression. I just nod and let them continue in their ignorance. Because there’s nothing to say to someone like that.</p>
