<p>“Kid shaped holes” Yes. Yes. Yes. Just what I am feeling too.</p>
<p>I called D today and while it was ringing, ringing, ringing, I had a senior moment and forgot whom I was calling. So when D picked up, I said, Hi, this is Firstname Lastname.</p>
<p>D said, "Uh, hi, Mom…? Are you okay??</p>
<p>Sybbie your story is beautiful.</p>
<p>OK Alumother and Sybbie, OK - THANKS A LOT!!! Here I was, doing pretty well, first day I haven’t been sad or worried - too concerned about my SIL with the 3 babies evacuating from HOuston - and ya’ll had to start with the sweet stories about the daughters - THANKS A LOT. Now I’ll have to go by the grocery on the way home to get ice cream, and all the gas stations are running out of gas and closing down - THANKS A LOT.</p>
<p>I miss her terribly, I worry about her adjustment and I so look forward to her E-mails. I am thrilled for her adventures, and I am sad to see how lost her brother looks sometimes. Christmas will be here soon.</p>
<p>Finally the safe place we can admit we miss them. My D calls almost everyday. Sometimes 5 times in a day. Also just for little things or just to say whats up. I was telling my husband that she calls to often. And he had to remind me that the few days she hasn’t called I also notice it. I love hearing from her. I am bracing myself for the day when the calls stop but knowing that the reason will be that she doesn’t need me anymore.
I don’t have the empty room sadness yet. Her younger sister has taken to sleeping in her sister’s bed. I don’t know how long that will last. She has always liked to sleep in her siblings beds when they are at a sleepover. I don’t think it has hit her yet that her sister’s sleepover is going to last for a long time.</p>
<p>SBMom, Hehe. Cangel, sorry, daughter-missing seems not to care for time nor tide. Hope your family is out of Houston and fine.</p>
<p>I usually hear from my college junior daughter once a week. Last week she called from the bluffs near her place and we had a nice long talk. I find I miss her more when I see her friends at football games. The homecoming game is when they all usually show up. Although I missed her tremendously right after she left freshman year, it was worse after Christmas break because then I KNEW how much I would miss her. Thankfully, it does get better.</p>
<p>I hate to say it, but I miss my sophomore son even more than I did last year! This year there’s no Parents Weekend trip to look forward to, no home for Thanksgiving, and far fewer phone calls. I’m looking at the stretch between now and Christmas and it looks l…o…n…g. </p>
<p>We had a lovely summer with him home, but I can’t help thinking it was the last. So many new signs of independence: talking about getting a job on the East Coast next summer, and he even ignores me once in a while on AIM while last year he never had enough nerve to not at least acknowledge me with a “hi, ttyl.” I think he recognizes what I’m feeling. He called last Friday, not to ask for anything, but just because he knew it had been a long time since we talked. And, he patiently stayed on the phone to answer any and all questions. Now that’s a first – and, another sign of increasing adulthood! I felt like the one being babied:)</p>
<p>Alumother,</p>
<p>I am afraid I may not make you feel a whole lot better, cause my DD left a hole in my life 5 years ago when she went to college, and I am still not used to it. First, it was because among other reasons to miss her, she left three guys and me and I was way out-numbered and I missed her female balance in our family. Now that S1 is gone, the missing is compounded. But I will say it is not as intense, and since she got married this last summer, I am finally beginning to grasp that she has given me another person to take into my heart. (Yup another male person!! Still out of balance, but that is okay.)</p>
<p>Nope, doesn’t get better.</p>
<p>Been bawling since August 15th. Yep, she calls three times a day. 3 quick calls. One before 5 am practice, one after 2 pm practice and then right before bed.</p>
<p>I miss my baby girl so much. Cry in the grocery store, cry when the boys are being HORRID, when Gilmore Girls is on, when I want to share fajitas, when I want my hair french-braided or want to braid hers. She loves her coach, is hoping for zones/nationals in Feb/March and loves her Arch classes and Latin.</p>
<p>I think I have bought all her Christmas presents already.</p>
<p>Oh I miss my baby girl.</p>
<p>And the boys are such…BOYS.</p>
<p>Kat</p>
<p>ps S#2 received his National AP Scholar Award in the mail yesterday, it will help for college apps this year. (he isn’t so horrid sometimes)</p>
<p>Alum~</p>
<p>Sending you many, many hugs from one who understands…</p>
<p>love, ~berurah</p>
<p>My son is now a sophmore…when he left for college last year as a freshman, he LEFT…he was emotionally gone before we even left the campus…I was a tad upset…but eventually was able to accept how this was exactly what we want for our kids…(I never wanted a shy child clutching my leg)…slowly over the course of freshman year, he began to readjust to the big picture and he was actually happy to have the school year end and get HOME…now as a sophmore, he has called and emailed more in the first 3 weeks then he did the entire first semester of freshman year. My H definitely continues to have the biggest hole in his heart…one recent Sunday, I went looking for him, he was reading the paper in our son’s bedroom just to feel close to him in spirit…so, Alumother…all the things you cite that are your daughter to you are things that you will always have. It is never easy to stop and smell the roses but, that is when concrete memories are made and you have them. It is okay to bask a bit in the sadness…it is a testament to how much you feel…in my humble opinion…</p>
<p>katwkittens and maineparent - thank you both so much for helping me find my spot in all of this. I read about the 3 calls/day, the reporting in on how classes are etc. and feel so … left out? no, more “must have done something wrong, since this is NOT happening to me.” Then I get to katwkittens punch line… “and the boys are such…BOYS.” Whew… it’s not me; it’s that I have a boy. Feeling better already. And then maineparent shows up to offer <em>HOPE</em>. There’s hope! Sophomore year could be better! </p>
<p>I love cc.</p>
<p>Ditto, jmmom.<br>
Lately I have reminded myself of a lovestruck teen-- checking AIM to see if he’s on (but not always chatting, don’t want to seem TOO interested), running for the phone, keeping an eye out for little things to include in care packages. Sometimes I find myself ridiculous.</p>
<p>DHL has lost the care package I mailed to him last weekend. It had all his math notes from several years in it, plus his fancy camera tripod and the things I’d been saving to surprise him with (restaurant gift certificate, favorite t-shirt left behind, waffle mix, preferred pretzels, a CD he’d been eyeing…)</p>
<p>To make it worse, he is sick. He’s been sick for a week, and student health seems to be blowing him off. He’s got a fever and a rash ::eek:: and is starting to fall behind in one of his classes. I know I’m not supposed to helicopter in and call the health service, and they wouldn’t talk to me anyway, but dammit they insisted to parents in their briefings about how helpful they were, and now my kid thinks they stink already and probably won’t ever go to them again even if he needs to. His friends are IM’ing me telling me he’s acting weird, and I am 3000 miles away and can’t request any intervention. 
AND since he’s a BOY, he won’t call with health updates nor give me much detail on the phone when <em>I</em> call <em>him</em>. Boy, do I miss being able to be the mom in situations like this.</p>
<p>Not fair.</p>
<p>Mootmom
Not good. Doesn’t your son have a resident advisor of some kind in the dorm? That’s the kind of person to call, and is responsible for looking after kids in this situation and seeing that they get what they need. At Williams they’re called JAs (Junior Advisors), and that’s who I emailed as soon as my D told me she was too sick to get herself to the infirmary. Half hour later she had been examined and was on antibiotics.</p>
<p>I find I generally can “act” pretty cool, after all I have a 4th year university student and even when she is “home” she’s always gone with her friends, though I admit, it feels good knowing she’s in the area…I lilke buying her favourite foods and even seeing all her drip dry laundry hanging around. Then the phone rings and caller ID shows it is one of the two college kids- I drop everything and every one else to be able to chat with about whatever they need, inconsequential or not!</p>
<p>mootmom - when is Parent’s Weekend? Are you going?
It’s possible that the health service couldn’t help that much anyway, especially if it’s viral. He probably just needs rest and nutrition - Maybe the dorm supervisor could make sure someone brings him food and checks up on him a few times a day.( Or one of those friends who is IMing you.)
If the package still has the name and address on it, the chances of someone finding and returning it are pretty good. That’s a bummer, though. I can imagine how sad it would make me - but he’ll probably get it back if the address is still on the package.</p>
<p>(Thanks for the support, folks, and I didn’t mean to derail the thread, sorry Alu!! I’ll follow up w/ RA-equivalent, and keep trying to talk with S if he’ll connect with me. And will keep wishing for The Box to appear…)</p>
<p>moot - boy’s can be impossible re their lack of communicating their feelings. It makes being far away much harder on us moms.</p>
<p>Alu- It DOES get easier. The first semester was very hard for us as well. For the first half of the year,DH printed up every email from DD and intended to save them for her to look back upon in the future. (but I think it really was so he could read them over when he missed her) We still have them, but now that she’s in her third year, I no longer look at my email 6 times a day hoping for a post. I no longer browse the dept. stores looking for something that she might need. I don’t answer the phone hoping it’s her calling. I don’t feel wi****l walking by her room like I did the first, and even second, year. I can honestly say that I think of her often but I don’t really feel sadness or longing, or any of the “missing” emotions that filled my days that first year. I don’t remember exactly when this shift happened, so it was gradual, I guess. But take heart, it does get a lot easier as the months and years go by.</p>
<p>** I guess I can’t say w-i-s-t-f-u-l , but that’s the word that best describes my emotion.</p>
<p>I agree ASAP–that’s where we are now, too.</p>
<p>mootmom - thread not remotely derailed. If D were sick with a rash and fever I wouldn’t just be missing her I’d be worried. That’s a whole different momball game. Missing her I am a lovesick puppy also. Worried about her I’m some much fiercer animal. Just make sure your S gets a diagnosis - probably nothing but still.</p>