<p>It is beautiful to see all these dads who love their children so much. :)</p>
<p>I hope my boys grow up to be just as ‘weak and sentimenal,’ like their dad is.</p>
<p>thanks SBmom. Oh I meant to say how much precollege life was finished, like 93.7%, not what was left.</p>
<p>My H too fretted in anticipation of S1’s move to college. I was also sad about this major change/loss in our lives, however I knew that our relationship with our S would change in some positive ways as well. I simplied his anxiety and grief as “fear of the unknown” because H’s father had died when H was a freshman in college. Therefore, he never really experienced that wonderful transition where it was suddenly possible to relate to your parents as an adult. Nor the new perspective that distance, age and a broader exposure to diverse parenting styles gives some kids - “Wow, my parents are really pretty cool! I never knew how lucky I was!” I was firmly convinced that the anticipation was much worse than the reality. </p>
<p>However…we just left S1, a junior in college, at the end of Parents Weekend. And even though all my wishes have come to fruition regarding S’s appreciation of us and we have a really wonderful new relationship, H had tears in his eyes all the way to the plane! S (and siblings) and I love him for his tender feelings and the fact that he can express them! </p>
<p>Good luck to you this next year. Cherish your time together. Make sure to make time to be together. And, don’t sweat the small stuff! CocaMom</p>
<p>ps. Just a thought, maybe your S is trying to keep a stiff upper lip because he too is afraid of how things will change and of the challenges college brings. We do want our kids to stretch and grow, and hopefully that’s what they’ll do in college. Some of us just find it a little harder to let them do it on their own.</p>
<p>The original Her referred to in this thread will be home Saturday for a few days. I’m looking forward to it. A couple of thoughts. First, in some ways our relationship hasn’t changed. I work full time and even when she was home much of our contact was cellphone. Now we IM. In some ways I know more about her day now than before, because I was never on her IM list.</p>
<p>Second, in many ways now that she is in college I have more expertise to offer her. What is there to say about high school? I personally was clueless in high school. But in college, the infant self of who I am today was there. So I remember college. I think I know how to do college. I certainly remember the academic material from college better than the material from high school:)</p>
<p>I hope that as she grows up and becomes more of an adult my sense of adding advice value vs. mom value will increase. So I guess what I’m saying is that the separation may not be as bad as you fear.</p>
<p>Just curious…how many of you sentimental parents are Class A Introverts? Introverts seem to suffer more, partly because they are not as good at forthright communication? For example, my H, missing S1 something terrible, harldy ever writes him or calls him without a prompt. His introvert philosophy? Why bother the boy.</p>
<p>Me, on the other hand? Have fingers? Can type. Can call. Anytime. Any place. (Just about). Let’s just say that the Big Blab and I are no strangers.</p>
<p>Cheers–I’ve evolved, I wouldn’t say I’m an extrovert, but somehow, the cell phone/e-mail technology has kind of changed me from being more of an introvert, made it much easier for me to reach out. So, if I feel like it, I e-mail or call. But I still miss my boys, but maybe not as much as some on this thread! Anyway, I called one of my non-communicative sons today, because I never wrote his address in my book. Maybe I shouldn’t say he’s non-communicative. He just wrote me an e-mail a few days ago asking how to get cooked egg out of the carpet. Yuck. And he e-mails more than he did last year. 
. I guess he felt that he really had to make a definite break last year?</p>
<p>So, I call him on the cell phone today and ask for his street address and he says, “Why don’t you have it, its the same as last year, except the room # is different.” Then, “Why, you gonna send me something?” To which I reply, “Do you want me to send something?” And he actually pauses to think about it and then says “yes.” So a halloween goody bag is on the way.</p>
<p>I didn’t think I would miss him that much, since this is his second year. About the only time we talked during his summer break was when I got insomnia and we got to watch Conan together. But you know, I was low after he left for a good month this time. I feel better now. </p>
<p>Any tips on how to get cooked egg out of the carpet?</p>
<p>Cheers, maybe your husband should write a few “real” letters to your son. My daughter saved every single one from summer camps. Might be a fun thing to do for an introvert who doesn’t want to bother the kid… I understand that they really love to get real mail–in an envelope, in their real mailbox.</p>
<p>driver, what a great idea! We are in the habit of leaving little love notes for the kids (to counterbalance the not-so-loving notes about chores and homework, etc). When S left for college this year, he left all of us, D/M/3Sibs, love notes! I’ve saved them all!</p>
<p>Dad23 - what has happened to some of us is that by the summer before college, our beloved, endearing child became so awful - so antsy to be out on their own maybe, so tugging-at-the apron (or in your case, belt) strings to get moving on, that they were pretty lousy to be around. I was told by several parents experienced in this process that this was “God’s way of making it easier to let go” and truthfully,by August I was kinda looking forward to it just to have some peace. Of course, I cried on the drive up and missed them terribly for the first two weeks or so but they aren’t my last child home - I have two more. When the last one leaves, however, I have seriously contemplated the possibility of becoming a “Big Grandparent” or even a foster parent if I can handle it physically. I like having young people around…you sound like a very loving person - there are an awful lot of other little boys in the world you could use a pal like you. It might not be the same as being with your own son, but who knows - you might find a new little friend to toss a football around with…</p>
<p>Cheers, our household exactly. And guess who’s the most sentimental when he does get on the telephone.</p>
<p>Crash - I have fantasies about becoming a NICU nurse. Umm, a comp lit major with an MBA? Just to hold some little ones and keep them safe for a little while before they have to take SATs:).</p>
<p>Cheers. Big Blab R Us.</p>
<p>Here I have been thinking to myself slowly, slowly… don’t hover, don’t call too much… calling every 5 days or so plus the occasional AIM… Feeling very deprived…</p>
<p>The other day when D calls, I say “Can’t talk, can I call you back?” D says, “that’s okay mom, we talk all the time.” ;)</p>
<p>OMG! YES!! Blab-Mart, Blabney-land, Blab World! </p>
<p>“I don’t care too much for money, money can’t buy me …blab. Can’t buy me bla-yaab…money can’t buy me blab.”</p>
<p>SBMom. Think all that contemplation might put you in the introvert category.
Alum. Introvert?
momrath. Extrovert married to introvert. (Cyper hugs dear, cyber hugs).
Dad23. Introvert.
driver-obviously not an introvert and not married to an introvert?</p>
<p>I got five or six mailings from DH before we married. All postcards. Most had artwork on the back with a pithy word. Or two. </p>
<p>I sent him…dunno…does treatise cover it? Reams? hmmmmm. Let’s say I wrote many amazing letters. </p>
<p>Found them a few years after we married. In his top drawer at his parent’s house. Unopened. </p>
<p>He’s still ‘thinking’ about reading them.</p>
<p>People who know me, casually, would unhestatingly label me an extrovert. However, on those personality tests Meyers Briggs or whatever, the key question to determine introvert or extrovert is what you do to relax on a Friday night. Do you go out with friends? Or sit at home on the sofa?</p>
<p>Hell, even when I TRY to go out with friends Friday night I end up asleep on the sofa…</p>
<p>So I am probably the most talkative introvert you ever cybermet.</p>
<p>But I have no shame re:talking to D. The only rule is if she can’t talk she just says “Can’t talk.” No hurt feelings, just a quick OK and hang up/sign off.</p>
<p>Alum - I took that test too and sound like I scored just like you - an extroverted introvert.</p>
<p>Introvert? Depends on how you define the word. These personality tests usually define common words in specialized ways. But if that means, “doesn’t open up,” it’s dead wrong about me. When do I talk? What time do you open for business? </p>
<p>I’m not sure, really, why it should be otherwise: I am INCLINED to be as open with my words as I am with my feelings. It’s just that only I seem to see this “extroversion” is, basically, a good thing. Around here it’s “Oh no, Dad wants to talk again.” I’m trying to get my daughter (now 10) to talk about her feelings, for her sake, but also for mine (surely one of the two share my gene for sharing things). But she is not very reflective, even with the gentlest of coaxing, and she is positively hopeless as a sports fan. </p>
<p>This is no joke. Don’t underestimate the need some of us have for a sports companionship in which two people watch and comment at the same analytic level. My son is by far my co-watcher of choice. I taught him all he knows. Sports are his passion and he is way above his peers -and my friends - in what he can give to me while we are both “just watching TV.” The Giants game each week is a bonding experience for us, even if it may seem like a nuisance to my wife and daughter. We click on the same cylinders. We don’t even invite anyone else over because they annoy us with their insistence on speaking about other things during the game, or acknowledging my daughter’s or wife’s presence. </p>
<p>Do I have to put an ad in the personals to get this kind of sportsmate? What if he finds…SOMEONE TO TAKE MY PLACE!!!</p>
<p>Yeah, my H is a big introvert faker too. Nobody would guess he was a serious introvert if they didn’t know him really really well.</p>
<p>But my theory is blown anyway. Dad23 is a big extro–and still suffering.</p>
<p>Dad, you need to move to a pub culture country where the whole neighborhood goes to the ‘local’ to watch the big games.</p>
<p>As I said on another thread, it’s not about how much you talk, it’s about where you get your energy from. Here are a few traits of introverts listed in a Myers Briggs book called “Do What You Are”. </p>
<p>Introverts are energized by spending time alone
Avoid being the center of attention
Think, then act
Think things through inside their heads
Are more private, prefer to share personal information with a select few
Listen more than talk
Keep their enthusiasm to themselves
Respond after taking the time to think things through: enjoy a slower pace
Prefer depth to breadth</p>
<p>I believe I’ve read that introverts are in the minority in terms of numbers - maybe 25% of the population.</p>
<p>lizchup, if you’re interested, check this link. <a href=“http://www.sengifted.org/articles_social/Sak_SynthesisOfResearchOnPsychologicalTypes.shtml[/url]”>http://www.sengifted.org/articles_social/Sak_SynthesisOfResearchOnPsychologicalTypes.shtml</a></p>
<p>You’ll see that while 25% of the general population falls into the introvert category, about 50% of the gifted do. I just find this interesting.</p>
<p>Thanks for the article sjmom - that is interesting.</p>