<p>My S’s Not A Girlfriend was home from college this weekend, and he wanted to spend the day with her. The plans kept changing and he ended up saying he needed to take her to her
cousin’s house and they would take her back to school. He called around 9:15 to say he was on the way home but there was some construction. An hour later he called to say his GPS screwed him up and he went way south but he’d be home by midnight. I think he took her to school (2 hours east) instead of her cousin’s (1 hour north). Anybody have a BS METER?</p>
<p>You need to trust yourself. As a mom you have a built in BS meter. The hard part is knowing what you know and tracking but not saying.</p>
<p>Do you pay his cell phone bill? If so, next time, track his phone to see where he is.</p>
<p>I suspect your BS meter is working just fine!</p>
<p>Think of it this way----read between the lines. He’s calling you to let you know he’s safe. He’s telling you he’s going to be home late. In other words, don’t worry. He’ll be home. He’s safe.</p>
<p>Now, you can either scream and yell at him for driving the girl back to college or you can pick your battles and focus on the fact that he was responsible and respectful enough to call you and let you know he’s safe and will be late. I would pick the latter.</p>
<p>I like the line “my s’s Not a Girlfriend” lol…are you echoing his words? Sounds like your bs meter is in fine shape!</p>
<p>Well the car (yours probably) does have an odoMETER. But unless you know prior setting you can’t figure it out. But perhaps you already did 
</p>
<p>So are you concerned that he took her back to school? Or are you thinking that they are bf/gf, and he’s afraid to tell you?</p>
<p>I have a lot of concerns about this girl! But the issue would be him driving her to school as it’s been discussed numerous times that he cannot drive there as it’s a 4 hour round trip. Driving 1 hour to the cousin’s house was sort of a test run. He’s only had his license a few months.</p>
<p>If he’s only had his liscense a few months & he’s in college, sounds like its a good time to get more experience on the road before the weather turns.
Is there a reason for him to not be truthful?</p>
<p>He’s a senior in HS. He seems to have a lot of “car trouble” when with this girl, and I think she encourages him to make poor decisions. In other words, she’s bad news!</p>
<p>So he’s calling you constantly to tell you where he is? If he’s driving, he must be older than 10, so… little too much micromanagement going on here. Very late to be getting his license, if he’s in college, but maybe he’s one of those young geniuses?</p>
<p>Of course your bs meter is probably accurate, but if he’s an adult…leave him alone.</p>
<p>He confessed. And he’s still there!</p>
<p>He’s 16.</p>
<p>16? He’s too young to be driving! Too young to have a girlfriend too!!</p>
<p>jm - I’m glad he confessed. I’m sorry that he went too far from home for a young driver and that he lied about it too. But it’s good that he finally fessed up. Trust me - we’ve had situations like this, and it is HARD. Continued lies are even worse. </p>
<p>Now you need to decide how to handle it. I’m glad I’m not in your shoes tonight - it’s a tough situation. Sending good wishes for your to find the right balance of patience and punishment. Like a friend once told me, “raising teenagers can be like trying to nail jello to a tree.”</p>
<p>Is there a rule in your state about when a new, young driver has to be off of the road? Many states won’t let them drive after 9PM unless it’s a school or work related activity. There is a reason that you don’t care for the young woman and I’m sure that your son knows that.
You clearly told your S that he was not to drive the girl to college, so he disobeyed you and lied while doing it; are you going to set rules and then not have consequences for breaking them? I would guess that the car is in your name and that you pay the insurance- take the keys and let him manage with the school bus and sneakers for a while until you feel that he’s showing some responsibility again.</p>
<p>I agree that since he is only 16 & in high school, it is a much different situation than the one I imagined.</p>
<p>I agree I would not be happy about my 16 year old doing a 4 hour round trip and returning home so late. If he were mine I would probably impose some pretty strict limits on car use. Our state also has limitations for young drivers at night but I don’t think they enforce them very well. If he seems to have mishaps every time he is with this girl then it sounds like it’s not a good match. I always told my 4 kids that they were free to choose their own friends but if they consistently got in trouble when with a particular friend then they would have to decide if the friendship was worth it. Eventually they all figured it out but sometimes they were pretty slow learners!!!</p>
<p>Hope he made it home safely!</p>
<p>In addition to cracking down on the car/driving issue - and the lying and defying - yeah, maybe you might also be concerned with a college aged not-a-girlfriend!</p>
<p>Lots of layers of issues here if he was my son.</p>
<p>abasket, don’t get me started on the college aged not-a-girlfriend (or look at my other posts if you are interested). It’s one of those situations where the phrase “raised by wolves” comes to mind.</p>
<p>Okay, I retract my post completely, I thought he was an adult. Yikes! Good luck, though at least he did admit it.</p>