<p>At this point, I would take away car privileges if that is possible. I would make it a safety issue. I would tell him the young woman is not making rational and safe decisions and if he remains in any sort of relationship with her, he will need to be the one who takes responsibility for being safe.</p>
<p>I haven’t read the other threads you have mentioned, but you asked for my BS meter. My feeling is that she is the girlfriend. Is he calling her “not” because he feels you would disapprove?</p>
<p>If he drove her back to school and was supposed to be home at midnight, but called after midnight and was still at the school, then there’s more here than meets the eye.</p>
<p>Good luck, it’s a tough thing. He needs to lose driving privileges and get some restrictions for lying as well. Tread lightly on the girl issue, because he obviously has feelings for her. The other scenario that pops to mind is she knows he has feelings and is using him–either way, not good news.</p>
<p>He did get home safely, exhausted of course and missed school today. He will lose all driving privileges until the end of the year and will not be allowed to drive this girl anywhere…ever? </p>
<p>VAMom, I think you hit it on the nose - he has feelings for her and she is using him. Even his friends say she’s not good for him. So he gets mad at the friends.</p>
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I thought you didn’t want her to be his girlfriend? He’s a 16-year-old boy in what is often the most rebellious life phase. Overdo the punishment, and you may be stuck with her for good.</p>
<p>OP, you allowed him to miss school today because of coming home late??? Just no!</p>
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<p>Ooh, I agree with Hunt. I know that from personal experience. My dad didn’t like a guy I was dating, so I stuck by the boy for a LONG time. Thank goodness the guy eventually dumped ME!</p>
<p>It’s even worse, he stayed overnight in the dorm and drove home in the morning. I could not stand the thought of him driving home 2 hours after midnight. I would never forgive myself if he had a wreck. My DH was sick and had taken meds, so he could not do anything and I can’t drive his car as it’s a stick shift (really need to learn…).</p>
<p>Believe me, I know about the rebellious relationship. My sister used to sneak around with a boy my parents didn’t approve of, until she caught him sleeping with her best friend! My parents’ objection was racial, but the truth is, he was just a jerk!</p>
<p>I don’t envy you this situation. Time to take away the car</p>
<p>The car needs to be taken away for a defined period of time. Then, depending on the behavior, he can potentially petition for the re-institution of his driving privileges, but only on some conditions. This is as an example of a BS meter that can be installed in the car:</p>
<p>[GPS</a> Vehicle Tracking for Teen Drivers | Monitor teenage drivers with GPS vehicle tracking | Teen Driver Tracking](<a href=“GPS Vehicle Tracking for Teen Drivers - FREE TRACKER | Monitor teenage drivers with GPS vehicle tracking | Teen Driver Tracking”>http://www.mobileteengps.com/)</p>
<p>I absolutely agree with others that you should focus on his irresponsible driving and lying as the reason for the punishment and not on his relationship with the girl even though you think she is nothing but trouble.</p>
<p>His punishment should be to force him to invite out a girl from his class. </p>
<p>Pining away for a clearly inappropriate older woman is a recipe for her to manipulate him again and again. The sooner he mentally moves on the better.</p>
<p>^^^I hope you are not being serious. I disagree with a few issues/comments on this thread, but I didn’t really want to get into a debate, but I just felt this was such an inappropriate response that I just had to comment. I think no circumstances should allow a parent to make their child date someone. I was not a very rebellious teen AT ALL (no drugs, drinking, smoking, never snuck out of the house, straight A’s, etc.), but my parents making me date someone or ask someone out while I liked someone else would have even put me over the edge, and I would have rebelled BIG TIME.</p>
<p>Also, asking someone to just “move on,” completely disregarding how they feel is the most unhelpful thing you can do.</p>
<p>Assuming 31 is serious, the “punishment” of asking another girl out is NOT fair to the poor girl who has no idea that she’s PUNISHMENT. It’s just wrong and should NOT be done.</p>
<p>Agree that car should be taken away for defined period of time for failing to follow hour limits on driving and driving much further, longer, and later than family agreed. Would not allow this child do drive on Sundays especially after '“being too tired to attend class on Mondays.” Taking driving away until the end of the school year (May/June) seems rather extreme.</p>
<p>The problem with just taking away the car is sometimes it punishes the parents…even more. When our oldest started driving, we got the gift of not spending 2 1/1 hours per day driving the kids to and from school. Taking the car away would punish us, not him.</p>
<p>Maybe limitations on the car, as far as driving only to school or sporting events. Perhaps taking it away for the fun stuff. Yeah, GPS meter would be useful.</p>
<p>You have had the serious sex talk with him I hope.</p>
<p>Great point, TempeMom. That talk should also include a bunch of three-letter words: HIV, HPV, HSV…</p>
<p>The problem with being a good parent is sometimes it requires time. Yes. Taking away the car for a period causes a headache for the parents, but you don’t quit being a parent when they get the car.</p>
<p>Taking away the car and having the kid hang around the house face-timing with the strumpet is not helping the problem. </p>
<p>Forcing him to ask some girl to the Fall Dance is not the end of the world. You want him to get past this inappropriate relationship.</p>
<p>Sometimes being a parent does involve punishments that make more work for us as parents, sometimes including not allowing them privileges. It’s really up to the parents to decide what the balance is/needs to be. Good luck in working through this with your S. It’s too bad he has this woman who is using him and making him make bad choices. He needs to learn to make better choices with your help and guidance.</p>
<p>Another way to track is to put tracking on his phone. AT&T had a family mapper that is pretty cool.</p>
<p>It does warn the kids you are tracking their phone, and it only works within a certain distance, as it is tracking by cell phone triangulation. But it does track even if someone else is driving.</p>