I need ideas to make a lake "vacation" fun for folks who don't like lakes!

Parent Cafe
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<p>The inlaws have a lake house up north. For myriad reasons, I hate going up there. After each visit I say I’ll never go up there again. But yet, I’m about to buy plane tickets. All of H’s siblings and their families are going, and one of his parents is losing her memory, so the fear is that this may be the Last Time to All Be Together.</p>

<p>Have I said I hate it there? The kids don’t like swimming in the lake. There are black flies that bite when the mosquitoes aren’t. The house has no dishwasher so it’s a lot more work than being at home. When it’s my turn to cook, I have to cook for and clean up after 20 people (not all staying at the house). Don’t get me started on the people. </p>

<p>Please don’t jump on me for having a bad attitude while taking advantage of the inlaws’ “hospitality.” The kids (us) are expected to buy and cook all the food, buy the gas for the boats and fill them up and clean them, change the sheets when we leave, etc etc. Being a woman, I am excused from the home improvement projects that H gets sucked into, thank goodness.</p>

<p>So, what can I do besides drink heavily? I can really only do that for one day, because I get hung over very easily. Yes, I know I will need to suck it up and have a better attitude. This post is just “between friends.” No lectures, please.</p>

<p>Should I bring puzzles? Games? No internet access and no TV. HELP!!!</p>

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<p>Is there a spa nearby? An art gallery, restaurant or some sort of business that might offer some kind of home improvement classes that you could take to get away from there for a day. Is there a hotel you could stay at instead of actually staying at the house?</p>

<p>You are a good woman to even do that. I had a family thing last year and everyone stayed at the house and I booked a room at a hotel.</p>

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<p>Do you have a laptop and DVDs? Get a good book - Unbroken is excellent if you havent read it yet. When my fam gets together we all do our own thing ( sometimes together, sometimes not) during the day, and just eat breakfast and dinner together. One family is in charge of a dinner each night for everybody from shopping, prep, cooking and cleaning up. It works, then you arent stuck doing the dishes every meal. And I am in charge when its my family, my H when its his family. He has to defer to me at my reunions, yay!! End of story :)</p>

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<p>I feel your pain. I suck it up visiting my inlaws. It is always a chore and never fun.</p>

<p>I second the thought of finding things you can do on your own, or with a family member that you enjoy spending time with. Bring books you’ve been wanting to read. If you have a hobby (knitting, quilting, etc) bring it to work on.</p>

<p>Hope you survive without too much pain.</p>

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<p>Do they have badminton? Horseshoes? </p>

<p>Bring a few decks of cards and agree with the plan to add a nice bottle of wine to the list!</p>

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<p>I hear you…is your family related to my husband’s?</p>

<p>We actually DID stop going…place was too small to accommodate the growing family. I don’t miss it one bit. My husband also got sucked into the home improvements. It was NOT a vacation.</p>

<p>Having said that…one year, a couple of us got an inexpensive TV and DVD (well back then it was a VHS) player. We took a variety of movies with us…which we watched in the evenings or when it rained. We also took a huge number of unread books, some gazzillion piece jigsaw puzzles and a bunch of games (things like Scrabble, Monopoly, Trivial Pursuit, Life)…and we left them there. We also looked for “sights” that were a reasonable drive away and did a bunch of “day trips”. It made the whole experience more pleasant for all. My kids don’t swiim in the lake…but they liked to use the canoe and kayak that were there…and we also donated a Sunfish to the cause.</p>

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<p>I’d bring books, board games, cards. Do you have magazines you’ve been saving to read when you have time. If you’re going to be cooking how about taking on baking? You could make a cake from scratch. That would keep you busy for a few hours. You could make your own pasta or rolls. Good luck!</p>

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<p>The hotel is still an issue. It’s the week of July 4th, and a last minute trip, so most hotels (let’s just say it - motels) are either fully booked, or have drastically raised their prices for the week. Plus, nothing is nearby. Truth be told, H like to have late night chats with his mother and I hate to deprive him of those.</p>

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<p>You are just going to have to get back in drinking shape.</p>

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<p>LOL. At least that’s an option when visiting H’s parents. I can’t complain too loudly because H just endured 2 days with my Southern Baptist parents, so drinking is not even an option there. (And I manage to get a headache that might as well be a hangover when I visit my own parents.)</p>

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<p>Who said anything about H? :wink: ;)</p>

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<p>How about sending H with the kids? You could enjoy being home alone.</p>

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<p>Crossword puzzles or soduku. Long walks with bug repellent. Books, as others have said. For a real escape: music (mp3, iPod, iPhone with headset). It will calm you and take you to another world!
Also, maybe bring a project you have been meaning to get to. I think you said you are flying, so I guess all those shoe boxes of photos that need to be sorted and put into albums might be out.
Being a laptop and organize your files, email, etc (assuming you can get to them offline).
Good luck!!</p>

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<p>I like the sending the kids with H idea! They should bond, really they should.</p>

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<p>This is one of those things that you either love or hate depending on what you did growing up. My H thinks going to the lake and doing nothing for a week with his family is the perfect vacation. I’ve changed my tune but for me it was like being home with a lot more work.</p>

<p>Some things which saved my sanity. I have a talk with my H and my kids (although now they are old enough that they can get out of going) of my expectations. I am not a servant, my H has to pick up the slack. He is not the only one on vacation, this took years to perfect. The kids need to keep the whining to a minimum, yes I know it’s boring and I don’t care if you cousins are lazy but you have to work also. We are not at a hotel and I am not the cleaning lady. </p>

<p>Some people are helpers and some people are takers. I try not to be the helper or taker but somewhere in the middle. When it is my time to cook, simple, simple simple. Taco bar, I make a casserole ahead of time, anything that is less work. One time we went on a family vacation and made Grilled Chicken Caesar Salads, bought already cooked chicken, lettuce, croutons and cheese. Bread to serve and ice cream for dessert. I have an easy to mix coffee cake, which is kinda a tradition, scrambled eggs, smoky links. Buy paper plates and cups. (Actually things got tons easier when there was a dishwasher, any way the siblings can get together and buy one as a early xmas present).</p>

<p>At our family vacations, we work out like fiends. I can walk for hours. Hiking,biking anything to get away from the cabin. </p>

<p>I bring books and magazines. Always a book I’ve wanted to read but don’t want to spend the money on. I have a kindle now and I load up on books. My H brings puzzle books, he can spend hours on these. The kids like to play games. One year they learned to play cribbage and they like euchre (which I know is a midwestern game but I’m sure there are plenty of other card games). They play board games also and jigsaw puzzles. Where we go we can go to a local shop and find a puzzle that reflects where we are and they are fun to do. We have done them and then they were mounted and hung in the cabin. </p>

<p>Most of all I have to have the right mind set. I had to figure out that I couldn’t get upset with these people because if I did, it made for a really long week. I had to get out of the cabin and do something else. Whether is is shopping or hiking or going on a canoe ride. I made my H take me on a sailboat or something where we can spend time alone. Away from all of the people. My H can do that for me. I’ve gone to the lake with him lol!</p>

<p>Also I get up early before the others. Make a pot of coffee, take my book down to the dock and read. That way I look busy and no one bothers me. I also can go to bed early that way. Mornings are nice and pretty bug free. </p>

<p>I really enjoy going to the lake now. It took a couple of years.</p>

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<p>I feel your pain. We are now the owners of my husband’s family cottage - I call it just a step above camping. While I DO like the lake and the beach and the quiet (no internet, tv except for DVD’s), all the work - the by hand dishes, all the cooking (limited groceries and restaurants nearby), the repairs, the total clean up (vacumming, sheets, etc) before we leave and yes, the bugs that come along with a lake - is NOT appealing and husband isn’t really willing to go elsewhere in the summer.</p>

<p>My solution finally after about 30 years of going up there??? At least ONE long weekend during the summer we go elsewhere - a nice hotel, eat out, bigger city, entertainment - sometimes H chooses not to go - that’s fine with me, I go and whatever kids who can, do as well. </p>

<p>Could you make a compromise to stay with the inlaws part of the week (a couple of days) and then you (and maybe some of your kids) take off via car or other transportation for a mini vacation within your vacation??! You don’t mention where “north” so can’t make suggestions…</p>

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<p>As Deb says above, I do also plan and am willing to make two meals a day - large breakfast and a dinner - hungry otherwise? Make and clean it up yourself. If I cook, I don’t have to clean up, the kids or H take turns (ok, mostly the kids). Use paper plates or Chinet to cut down on dishes.</p>

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<p>LOL. Sounds like our cabin in Vermont, but buggier. Take out, going out and really simple meals should definitely be considered. I’d tell people to make their own breakfast. I’d find an internet cafe and disappear for a few hours. Maybe you could make a chore roster to make sure you get help at least. If there are galleries and shopping make a day of it. As for what we do when not hiking - outdoor activities like croquet, bocci balls and badminton. Old fashioned indoor activities like puzzles and charades. We play, lots and lots of board and card games. You could try some of the new complicated games like Dominion or Small World. I paint watercolors so I take off with my painting stuff pretty regularly on family vacations.</p>

<p>One of the nicest vacations we had up there was when dh and I were alone and I voted for trying all the local restaurants. It was great!</p>

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<p>Well…maybe. My husband did the lake house thing every summer growing up. HE hates it too.</p>

<p>I agree with others. Some of this is about setting limits and your husband needs to help. If you REALLY don’t want to cook a meal…then offer to order out pizza. If you REALLY don’t want to spend the whole week…then don’t. If you REALLY don’t want to spend the days sitting around the cabin…then go for day trips.</p>

<p>Early in our marriage, I felt “guilted” into going on these lake vacation trips…and we did go as a family. BUT you know…none of the four of use enjoyed it. We enjoyed it less when someone suggested that multiple families come at the same time…and the clincher for us was the “to do” list we always faced. Like I said…we haven’t been there in over ten years and we don’t miss it a speck. It caused some hard feelings initially but now that others are doing the “to do” stuff expected of us, the rest of the family understands.</p>

<p>I like that suggestion of perhaps staying at the lake house part of the time and somewhere else part of the time. If that can’t be worked out for this year (because of the July 4 holiday)…then plan ahead for next year.</p>

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<p>Cards, many decks of cards. “Card Games for Dummies” or some such book with directions for card games. </p>

<p>Two excellent sets of binoculars. A birding book. Another book on wildflowers of North America. A book on trees, grasses, mosses, mushrooms, etc. of North America. A good pair of walking shoes, DEET inclusive bug spray, a hat you can tuck your hair into.</p>

<p>A really good digital camera. An excellent macro/micro lens.</p>

<p>If it rains, gather a few people to play cards. some of our favorite extended family memories revolve around card games. </p>

<p>If it doesn’t rain gather someone to take a short (or long) hike to look at birds, flora and fauna. Bring the binoculars, the books and the camera. If nothing else you’ll learn something.</p>

<p>Regardless of the weather, take scads and loads and tons of photos. More than you think anyone will ever care about.</p>

<p>When you get home, do something with the photos. Upload them to a website to share with the family. Select the best and have them made into hard cover books to send to the rest of the family. </p>

<p>You will never regret taking and sharing the photos. The family will love that you took them. It will keep you busy while you are there, and give you positive memories of the place, the people and the time.</p>