<p>I am going to pick up on the theme of one of his parents is losing their memory (since the drinking angle has been adequately covered). You could feign that. Mismatch your clothes. Talk about needing to buy crayons for your older children so they have them for kindergarten. Ask them if they plan on voting for Reagan or Carter this year. Tell them it surprised you that Joe Di married Marilyn Monroe. That should keep them away!</p>
<p>I’d fly up for two nights to pay respects, then leave the H and kids to fend for themselves and fly back for a mini-vacation on my own–nothing I like better than to occasionally be in my own house all by myself. I think that’s a way to be kind to your in-laws without making yourself miserable on a non-vacation. Sometimes “no” is an answer, too.</p>
<p>Up North Lake House vacations growing up for me too. I do still enjoy them, but my parents’ house has cable TV, although no internet. My husband has never once accompanied me on these vacations with my family. When the kids were little, I would take them to Michigan for three weeks at a time. As they got older, we reduced the vacation to one week. Now with one kid out of the house and the college student working for the summer, I go by myself and absolutely love it. Five days to do nothing but jigsaw puzzles, read books and drink my dad’s wine.</p>
<p>geo1113,I hope you’re kidding. Memory loss/dementia is certainly no joke or something to “feign.”</p>
<p>OP, I feel sorry for you and I have no idea why are you going. Vacation time is so precious. I also visit place that I do not like not on vacation but on official company Holiday time before New Years. i visit my S’s family in NYC, it is not a vacation. Last visit was awesome, we played lots of board games.<br>
I do not think I wll ever like to spend my time on a lake. I love ocean.</p>
<p>Y’all are funny and helpful and thank you for not lecturing me.</p>
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<p>This brings up one of the most classic inlaw stories. When the kids were younger, we went to the lake house for a few days, then H and I took off on our own for two nights and left the kids with grandma and grandpa. Here is what happened: MIL gave the kids a bowl of cereal when they got up, then took them outside and LOCKED THEM OUT OF THE HOUSE. Yes, it was to force my kids to enjoy nature instead of staying inside. But it was chilly in the morning and by afternoon they all claimed that they still had to take afternoon naps, just to be allowed indoors!</p>
<p>As for why I’m going: H’s last two visits to visit his parents have been alone.</p>
<p>One word: Multiplex. Day too nice? Walk a mile around the multiplex and then go to see the movie(s).</p>
<p>Oops!!!^^^^</p>
<p>Sounds like you can call this a “trip” but it is definitely not a “vacation”. </p>
<p>If you feel you must go and you must stay the entire week, do whatever possible to carve a couple hours out of the day for you to enjoy. A road trip shopping, a laptop and chickflick alone in your bedroom with headphones and a bowl of popcorn, the nearest coffee shop (even if it’s an hour away!) to chill out at with a book or your laptop - SOMETHING to give you time to look forward to each day while you are otherwise gritting your teeth through the waking hours. 
Map this out before hand, have a list so you truly DO IT.</p>
<p>Is there a woodchipper at the vacation house about the size of your in-laws? The place is pretty far out in the woods right?</p>
<p>We barbecued a lot at our lake home. Cuts down on clean-up. Quiche is an easy meal if you use a pre-made pie crust and with salad and fresh corn is a meal. Check out local farmers’ markets, antique stores, pick wild fruit, touristy things like old steamship rides with calliopes.</p>
<p>People are always the nicest diversion. Talk to the neighbors. Invite them over. They’ll invite you back.</p>
<p>I reread all the posts on this thread, and I’d like to interject a different perspective on the overriding theme, which seems to be trending toward “Ways to Mentally And Physically Check Out of the Vacation In a Place I Didn’t Choose, And Don’t Want to Be”.</p>
<p>In the end, all we have is family. There’s a time for self indulgent vacations, and there’s a time for embracing the place you’d never choose for yourself. Creating memories of extended family, in all their glorious imperfections, is something truely valuable. Not for us in particular, but for our children. We need a history, a story, something greater than our tiny immediate family. We need to have stories of the time Anna showed up at the cabin with the “gift” of head lice for all. We need to treasure the day Henry fell asleep on top of the picnic table, when the boys pitched a tent in the wrong spot and nearly floated away in a sudden night time downpour, when we all witnessed the call of a loon or a whip-or-will, when the sump pump failed, when Uncle Steve bought illegal fireworks on the way up north and started a bush on fire one night…</p>
<p>I have had my share of vacations in places I didn’t choose, with people I didn’t ask to be with, at inconvenient times. And I have managed to have a blast every time. We always come home with more stories to add to the family lore.</p>
<p>Here’s a thought. You could trade places with Schokolade and her family, who is looking for a vacation spot in July 
<a href=“http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/parent-cafe/1352744-vacation-location-17-year-old-s-h-me.html[/url]”>http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/parent-cafe/1352744-vacation-location-17-year-old-s-h-me.html</a></p>
<p>Do you have some time in between now and then to take a few plein aire painting classes? Just takes a few watercolors,a good view, some paper,and a glass of wine. It’s a great way to get away from everyone and everything.</p>
<p>…I agree we have families and we also have only 3 weeks / year for vacations. If we do not take care of ourselves, we cannot take care of family. So, have non-vacation expectations from visits with family and take care of yourself for the rest of the year during your vacations. This is my approach, others might have different ideas. I learn to enjoy both my great vacations in my awesome family visits at place that I really do not care about a bit.</p>
<p>Buy 50 Shades of Grey (and sequels, if you’re a fast reader) ;)</p>
<p>We go on the same vacation. I have also learned to drink a lot more than normal. I also go on loooong walks with our dog. Sometimes, I grab another bored sister in law and head out to the nearest shopping area (closest one is 30 miles, the best one is 2 hours away). I tried to keep in mind that my dh is wonderful and he loves doing this. I also read an incredible amount and eat way too much. Deb922 is correct that you have to develop the right mind set or the week will seem very long.</p>
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<p>Multiplex? Internet cafe? Galleries? LOL, y’all are assuming way too much civilization. And the leaving early thing is difficult because it’s a 3 1/2 hour drive from the airport.</p>
<p>Wood chipper? You are really closing in on the area in which the lake house is located!</p>
<p>Talk to the neighbors? Ah, those were the days. Before the inlaws did something that caused the neighbors to have to hire a lawyer to stop and now the neighbors don’t speak to them.</p>
<p>Are we having fun yet?</p>
<p>H hates it up there almost as much as I do, but he adores his mother.</p>
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<p>I totally sympathize with you, missypie. I despise the wilderness, wildlife, crickets, weird creepy things, no internet, no art museums, no great restaurants, no wine shops, no privacy, the Manson family living down the road… :eek:</p>
<p>…plus all that shopping, cooking, cleaning, laundry. Ugh, I’m getting bummed out just thinking about the concept, and it’s not even me.</p>
<p>If you can get into your brain that it is family, and the “vacation” is finite, more power to ya. I’d send H & the kids (“oh honey, you know how crabby I can be, I don’t want to spoil everybody else’s good time…”) or get very, very drunk and stay that way till the ride home.</p>
<p>I’m getting depressed just thinking about it. I appreciate what eastcoascrazy is saying, but my feeling is: free time is so precious. Shouldn’t it at least be somewhat pleasant? </p>
<p>I don’t think you can not go. They need your labor and cooking skills (isn’t that part of the bargain?) Is it just you, your husband and kids, and his parents? Don’t you have any SILs who are allies? See if you can find one thing about it you like and keep reminding yourself about it: good to not have the TV on all the time. Now we can actually have a conversation. I can hear myself think. </p>
<p>Here’s one idea: bring a tape recorder, and give one of the kids the task to record thoughts and memories of grandma and grandpa. Like an oral history. Get them to talk about their childhood, their parents. Maybe you’ve all heard all the stories, maybe not.</p>
<p>This too shall pass.</p>
<p>Oh boy, this hits so close to home that my skin is crawling. My in-laws have a SHACK on the scummy end of a small pond and we are expected to spend time there every summer. Mice feces in the beds, live mice in the food cabinets, one toilet, NO shower, etc. They graciously gifted it to the next generation so we could pay the property taxes and insurance but they stay three months every summer. Kids HATE it. Hubby does projects with FIL all day every day. I get to listen to MIL chatter about herself non stop all day. And, due to limited vacation time, I have not been to a favorite vacation spot from my childhood since the day I got married. It is very hard for me to know where to draw the line between sticking up for myself and my kids and showing kindness and appropriately prioritizing family. It would be easier if my inlaws were not critical, racist, and chattering about themseves all the time. H, a middle aged man, still cannot do anything that he fears will disappoint his parents.</p>
<p>OP - now that my vent is over, I have “coped” by: long walks, bringing new games or puzzles to shack, volunteering to go get whatever is needed for meals, and sticking my nose in a book to avoid getting dragged into a conversation. I really like the idea of having your H and kids stay longer than you. You can visit long enough to pay your respects and then get out of town!</p>