<p>When you go into town to get groceries at the IGA, tell all the clerks and the girls at check out registers that you are new in town because you are in a witness protection program. See what happens the next few days.</p>
<p>Since it looks like you have to go-
bugs- could you stop at a Walmart or someplace similar on the way out to the cabin and buy one of those mesh tents. Set it up outside with tables and chairs inside. It will give you a place to be outside where the bugs can’t get you. My H likes to camp with minimal stuff and I am always envious of those who have those big mesh tents to go inside when the bugs come out.
Buy a bunch of supersoakers. Have the kids write a script and perform a play for the family or bring a video camera and have them make a movie. One cousin one year brought a water balloon launcher (the kids loved it, grownups not so much)
Watercolors (buy the kind in the drugstore) with a couple of pads. We do this when we go sailing. Pull out the old gameboys if you have them. Mosquito hats. Have a boat making contest with cardboard and duct tape, set them sail and see whose lasts the longest. Kites.
Food- make what is easy and what you like. If you like to bake, bring some new recipes.</p>
<p>Most of all- Try to do what works for you. It sounds like no matter what you do, you will not make them happy.</p>
<p>How about a 1000 piece jigsaw puzzle laid out on a table for anyone to do.</p>
<p>Does the cabin have a porch? Do you have a sharp bowie knife?</p>
<p>Sit on the porch, preferably on a rocking chair, all day rock and whittle very sharp sticks. Just glare at anyone who passes. If anyone DARES to ask what the sticks are for, laugh maniacally: " You will find out…BWAH HA HA HA HA" </p>
<p>see if you ever get invited back.</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>We’ll just have to hope that the weather is nice enough to eat every meal outside. Otherwise I will be criticized for having a puzzle on the one and only table!</p>
<p>What is also limitless fun (not) are the trash rules. Some things go in one kitchen bin and others go in another (not traditional recyleables) and others go straight to the barrel outside. And if one hesitates over what to put where, one is accused of “leaving trash around.” [At least the kids are out of diapers. All dirty diapers were expected to be taken outside instantaneously, no matter the time of night or the weather. I agree that the house is way too small for smelly diapers. But I’m talking about the DILs being criticized if we even took the time to put on shoes…even with just wet diapers.]</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>Make a film of them! They’ll be self=conscious at first, but if you keep filming long enough they’ll relax. Throw out a prompt to them. Ask them to describe what they see in the room. It doesn’t much matter; they’ll just be themselves and that’s what you’re capturing.</p>
<p>I was going to post – but others have mentioned it by now – photography and making videos. This seems counter-intuitive in the very place you don’t enjoy, but the people include some that you really love. </p>
<p>Up in New Hampshire where my parents lived, we took one afternoon where I filmed my S-2 interviewing his grandma, demonstrating how she ran her Ben Franklin woodstove. At the time, it satisfied a school history project. Today I love having it because she’s losing her memory. On film, I have a record of when she could put together a cogent narrative about her domestic life. Maybe someday I’ll show it to her great-grandchildren. You might want to have a film record of your H, too, at his loving best. </p>
<p>Aside from video filming, I now find that whenever I go somewhere I’m not keen on (Temple Sisterhood Donor Luncheons come to mind…) I now survive them by bringing my still camera. I walk around and photograph people. They leave me alone; it looks like I care about them (which I do, but somehow this is very affirming to them); and nobody talks to me while I do it! It works on a rainy day inside, even. After so many years, I’m just all “talked out” at these events and love the silent alibi being behind the lens, shooting.</p>
<p>Don’t promise to share the photos – that’s a lot of work. If you do, you do; if not, you passed the time effectively in the cabin.</p>
<p>That plus everyone else’s idea – get away once daily, even to the grungiest local diner. I can’t stay 24/7 with family and I’m crazy about them (mostly). We “vacationed” for a week annually to the urban version of what you describe here. My MIL was in her glory to have us in; every meal was too much work; mattresses were the same ones my H and BIL’s used 45 years earlier (ewww) and the local city was boarded-up Rust Belt. I really had to insist on my right to walk away for a few hours into my own activity, as MIL didn’t understand that at all. She’d assign relatives to go with me so I wouldn’t feel “lonely.” I had a heart-to-heart talk with her that this was necessary for me to enjoy my time, and although it was a struggle, she worked to understand that and let me go out solo.</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>OMG, no way, no how!!! :eek:</p>
<p>We are on the other side of this. We own a lake house. However, I am very grateful to say it’s a very nice one (4 BR, 3.5 baths). The basement is a guest suite with living room and full bath, but is walk out, so it has a view to the lake. You’d think in Texas we’d have mosquitoes, but we are high on a ridge (75 feet above the water with fantastic views), so the wind keeps them away. We have a pest control guy who comes out when we are gone to insure we don’t have any rodents or other bugs inside. We would never invite anyone for more than a weekend, however. I can’t imagine inflicting that on anyone else (or ourselves) for a whole week! Kids always love coming over because my husband pulls them around on the lake on inner tubes, skis, or wake boards. The adults like it because they get to sit on the boat and enjoy a beer or cold soft drink and just enjoy the music, the scenery, and the company. It’s one of the most beautiful lakes in Texas and for some reason has clear, clean water.</p>
<p>We love the house, we love having the guests. BUT: it’s a LOT of work for us. DH drives the boat all day in the heat, he often grills at night, and for me, it’s a blur of meals and cleanups. We do have the “helpers” and the “takers,” but after several years of practice, have mostly eliminated the “takers” from the guest list. The cleanup and laundry after everyone leaves is exhausting, the gas for the boat is pricey, the insurance on the boat and wave runners is through the roof.</p>
<p>But we wouldn’t have it any other way. We have had fabulous times with family and friends there. We even enjoy going there in the winter. It has been a great way to stay connected with our friends who live in surrounding cities but not in the immediate area.</p>
<p>My sympathies to the OP though! Doesn’t sound like much fun at all. Bless you for doing this for your DH. :)</p>
<p>In fairness, it is hard to have fun or relax when swarmed by bugs. Black flies are vacation spoilers, IMO.</p>
<p>Can you buy an electric bug-zapping device to hang near wherever you sit outdoors?</p>
<p>Citronella candles might help everyone in a deck-size area outdoors. Buy some around 6" diameter, not votive size.</p>
<p>If not, how about one of those tall pointy hats women wore in the Middle Ages with the netting around their necks and shoulders? Those were meant to keep out lice. Quite the app!</p>
<p>[ExOfficio</a> BugsAway Chas’r Long Sleeve Crew Shirt - Women’s, 54377 | Insect Protection | Insect & Sun Protection | GEAR | items from Campmor.](<a href=“http://www.campmor.com/outdoor/gear/Product___54377]ExOfficio”>http://www.campmor.com/outdoor/gear/Product___54377)
have never used one of these shirts but might be worth looking at.
Also my kids have used these on trips where they have had lots of bugs
[Coghlan’s</a> Mosquito Head Net, 81352 | Insect Protection | Insect & Sun Protection | GEAR | items from Campmor.](<a href=“http://www.campmor.com/outdoor/gear/Product___81352]Coghlan’s”>http://www.campmor.com/outdoor/gear/Product___81352)
It looks like Campmor has a wide assortment of bug clothing
If nothing else these will work for making a scary movie.</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>It’s really all about the company. You and your H are likely good company and have interesting and witty conversations. The guests probably do love it. </p>
<p>Our kids have been pulled on various things and we all take long pontoon rides…after which we have to clean up much cleaner than when we got on the boat and have to thank and thank and thank and thank them for taking us out on their boats, as if we had been invited to ride on Queen Elizabeth’s Diamond Jubillee Barge.</p>
<p>Ooh, just remembered another reason to go: The Prime Topic of Conversation is Whoever is Not There, or their kids…no story of bad parenting is too stale to dredge up, no story of a kid being a picky eater is too irrelvant to discuss. If one of my kids ends up in prison, it will be because I let them read a book instead of forcing them to swim in the lake.</p>
<p>Oh my goodness…just remembered that they haven’t seen Son since he gained so much weight. Poor thing. I wonder how much he can lose in three weeks.</p>
<p>We did one of those 1000 piece puzzles on a similar family hostage vacation. It was actually really nice, because aunts or cousins would wander by, work on it for a while, and then wander off again. It was a peaceful way to spend time with each other.
I would also say that the camera is important, especially if this is one of those last times all together. My kids never knew some of my most cherished relatives, and we treasure the photos.</p>
<p>
Since you have such skewed priorities I feel an obligation to talk about you, too. </p>
<p>Buy a few copies of a book you’ve been meaning to read and force your husband and kids into a family book club while you’re away!</p>
<p>Missypie: I have to say that I don’t disapprove of your attitude at all. I have difficulties with families, particularly H’s.</p>
<p>But I would absolutely refuse to go. The negativity and pettiness you describe is beyond bearable and abusive. I just don’t let people abuse me.</p>
<p>Does your H adore his mother for real reasons? Is there another way they can have their relationship? One night for the kids to see their relatives? That’s all I could manage, I think, so kudos to you.</p>
<p>Get a medical marijuana prescription for stress.</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>This wins MY award for quote of the day. Too funny…and that is exactly what it is. A “guilt you into going somewhere you don’t want to go” vacation.</p>
<p>I hear you loud and clear. I brought the TV-VCR to the family hostage vacation when a number of us had youngish kids. It was the HIT of the event (as were the hotdogs I brought…something the family NEVER eats). The best part was that we fed the kids (hotdogs) first and then let them watch a movie while the grown ups had a meal.</p>
<p>Speaking of meals…no matter what I suggested, it was the WRONG meal…either that or some other branch of the family had dibs on that meal suggestion. Ordering out pizza isn’t something this family does either. I finally told them…either you take what I cook, or I’m getting pizza.</p>
<p>Then I stopped going.</p>
<p>I will say…if you have a family that might be thinking about “deeding” the cottage to the next generation…you must read a book called “Saving the Family Cottage”. We got it too late, but it’s a must read.</p>
<p>I did not read the whole thread, but I can certainly relate. DH spent summers as a kid and teen at the family cottage. He LOVED it. His grandpa had a cottage 8 down the road. So when we dated/married he envisioned us up there summers. Um, I have a year-round job, I’m not an inland lake person (gross water), and it’s a LOT of work for someone. That part he never understood. Neither did the inlaws, but I rarely stayed overnight.</p>
<p>However, GP died and inlaws offered us one of the cottages. H was gung-ho. I said fine, but it is YOUR cottage. I will visit, but I will not cook much, clean, maintain, or be the maid when I am there. He turned his parents down; I was quite surprised, but I guess he did realize how much work it would be and HE would be the one doing it.</p>
<p>We visit, but it is close enough for day trips. I work very hard at my job and when I vacation, I want someone else to make my meals, clean my room, and keep the pool and spa clean.</p>
<p>Interestingly, H’s brother took GP’s cottage, tore it down and built a year round home on the lake. My SIL is a saint.</p>
<p>We have a cabin…we love it…not on a lake though! We also have family we actually like to come and visit with us, so I am sorry this vacation is simply NOT one!
One thing we love to do is have a campfire in the local state park in the evenings. Sometimes we bring a full picnic dinner, but most times just s’mores fixings. We get there about 6pm and leave about 10pm! I love to camp…but my husband says this is just the right amount for him!
Bugs are kept away because of the fire…we play dominoes at the picnic table by lantern!
Maybe some of your relatives will hate the idea…so more space around the fire for you!</p>
<p>I’ve been thinking about this thread all day. Partly cause in some ways it has hit home. One discovery: not everyone is cut out for cottage/cabin/outdoor life. And that’s absolutely OK. </p>
<p>Sounds like your kids also dread this trip? There MUST be some compromise here. If it was me, I would not only be miserable during the trip, but 2 weeks before thinking about it and 2 weeks after the trip realizing I just blew a week of my work vacation being miserable.</p>
<p>I have not read all of the this thread but will by and by. OMG! this was a post I could write word for word. H’s family have an amazing cottage that sleeps 22. You can only get there by boat. So while there there is no walking or hiking. It is a gorgeous and cold lake in Canada. Everyone goes nuts over happy hour and disgusting recycled food night after night. The “cook” cooks for all and shops for all. If you happen to have a H who is a helper but not a planner then you are just plain stuck.
This wonderful “vacation” would cost us thousands every other year–as I refused every.
I have a huge scar on my wrist the year my 18 month old was throwing a temper tantrum for over an hour while 22 people sat in a gloomy cabin in the rain and I was expected, and young enough and stupid enough, to make them dinner–thus burning myself…
I then refused to go for 10 years. 2 years ago went to see if it was me and not them.
Nope. Will never go again. But H and many times S went without me and everyone was happier. Am guessing this a supportive vent? :)</p>
<p>We seem to be a large group of family hostages. Oregon101, I think you win with having to boat over to the place. No escaping from that place!</p>