I promised myself I wouldn't do this.

[butterbattle]

<p>Male, Chinese American. Let’s see how horrible my chances really are.</p>

<p>Came to U.S. in 1996. Still speak Mandarin Chinese fluently, but can’t read or write. </p>

<p>Divorced parents, Mom is twice divorced, ugggg.</p>

<p>I go to a new and extremely lazy public high school in Washington state.
People skipping in hallways, grade inflation, smart people are nerds, etc.</p>

<p>G.P.A: 3.92 UW. School does not weigh. Rank 4/137
SAT: 1980. Reading-660 Math-670 Writing-650
SAT II: English Lit-630 Math II-670 U.S. History-740</p>

<p>AP English-4 AP U.S. History-4</p>

<p>I’ve only taken 4 AP classes so far. </p>

<p>Current schedule:
Orchestra
Regular physics (couldn’t fit AP into schedule, this class is so ****ing easy and worthless. It took the class several days to figure out scientific notation. I’m considering doing online academy or something)
Spanish 4 (skipped Spanish 3)
AP Calculus BC</p>

<p>Activities
-Honor society
-Tennis (1 year)
-FCCLA
-Lit. Magazine
-Violin. 8 years. I’m not very good.
-Chess Club Captain. I’ve been #1 in our league since my sophomore year. But, our league is the worst in the state it doesn’t mean very much. I also won 4 games and tied my 5th on first board at state, but that was partly because the rest of my team kept losing. Thus, we played other sucky schools. I was undeserving of an MVP award.
-Key Club Editor. Way too many little pieces of community service to fit into this thread.
-Volunteer tutor at public library. Any students K-12 can drop in and get help from tutors in any subject at a designated time. 100+ hrs. from this alone.
-Private math tutor.</p>

<p>Work experience
-Far Eastern Crafts. Sold swords, tasers, jewelry, art, etc. This was really messed up. I was never taught how to do stuff and was quickly abandoned. I was only employee in the store. Storage area was really disorganized. Things in the wrong boxes. Unlabeled boxes. No distinguishable patterns to the ways the items were stored. Very embarassing when I can’t find something that the customer wants. I mean, I barely knew the store better than the customers. One time, I couldn’t figure out how to open a certain pocketknife. Luckily, there was almost no activity. If the store got 10 sales in a day, that was a good day. I don’t understand how the owner didn’t go bankrupt.
-WebSecureStores- Web hosting company. Managed customer’s account, rebooted/fixed servers, etc. Didn’t really know much about how websites worked when I started, learned a lot.</p>

<p>Awards
-Outstanding Achievement Award (really, just semifinalist in Mason’s scholarship)
-Who’s Who Among American High School Students</p>

<p>hmm, yep, that’s about it. Chance me!</p>

[butterbattle]

<p>Essay from the common app.</p>

<pre><code>

One of my favorite places in the world is a rural village in northern China. There, at the edge of human civilization, my relatives draw water from wells, cook with fresh-picked vegetables, sleep at dusk, and wake at dawn. It’s a completely different environment.

When I first arrived, I always felt like I had landed on an alien planet. I stayed quiet, staring randomly, with an utterly blank expression on my face. On the inside, I was horrified that there were no toilets or computers. After a day or two, I began to accept reality and might have a conversation with an uncle or wander around the village. Finally, after about three or four days, I stopped whining long enough to appreciate that I was somewhere new, somewhere different! After this epiphany, I glowed with enthusiasm and was filled with an overwhelming desire to try new things and challenge the unknown.

Most of the time, this fearless curiosity created positive memories, but occasionally, it resulted in disaster. For example, my most terrible experience began when I spotted several of my cousins drinking out of a bowl of water. By that time, I had been playing mindlessly for hours, so I was extremely thirsty and asked for a drink. Surprisingly, they all turned and looked at me as if I had said something childish; it was an awkward silence. Finally, one of my cousins explained that there were bacteria in the well water, that people who lived in the village were immune to them and that I was undoubtedly not immune and would therefore, become horribly sick if I drank the water. Of course, I laughed and thought to myself, ‘That’s stupid. They must think I’m a weakling.’ Undeterred, I informed my cousin that I would be fine and quickly snatched the bowl from his grasp. He tried to wrestle it back, but I stubbornly held on and drank all the water. “I’m not going to get sick,” I told them.

The next morning, I immediately started feeling dizzy, so I sat down in a chair. Seeing my lethargic condition, one of my aunts decided to take my temperature, and discovered that I had a high fever. She alerted several other relatives, who also came and examined me. A few minutes after that, they all concluded that I was very ill and needed to rest. Annoyed by their suggestions, I said to myself, “I am not sick,” then promptly threw up on the floor. My relatives were stunned. Trying to stay calm, they called for a Chinese doctor, who arrived half an hour later. Not wasting any time, the doctor quickly set up all of his equipment and jammed a huge needle into my arm, which began pumping medicine into me.

In the end, I was confined to that little room for hours, and I was sick for days. At the time, I was devastated that my dream had turned into a nightmare, but I should have been grateful. I had accidentally punished myself for my own arrogance and learned a valuable lesson, to slow down and listen to others. Enthusiasm should be open-minded.

</code></pre>

[azhao525]

<p>First, your killerass GPA is Super PLUS. Even though your school is probably “lazy” as you called it, it’s still nothing to sneeze at to get a 3.9 GPA and high ranking. Unfortunately at my school, if you get one B all 4 years, you’re already down to 30/500. That’s how many valedictorians we have. :(</p>

<p>But I have to admit, your SAT scores are gonna drag you down. This kinda shows that you didn’t work very hard to get your 3.9 since if you did work hard, it should correlate with a decent SAT score.</p>

<p>

Regular physics (couldn’t fit AP into schedule, this class is so ****ing easy and worthless. It took the class several days to figure out scientific notation. I’m considering doing online academy or something)

</p>

<p>I TOTALLY KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN. I have Reg physics right now. It’s the only regular class I have ever taken in hs, and omg, it’s ridiculous. I wish I had non-honors all 4 years, that would look nice with a 4.0. But of course, I didnt. xD</p>

<p>Decent activities, quite solid. Work experience is alright, even though I was a bit confused at what exactly you did. Awards aren’t spectacular since almost everyone with some decent numbers get the Who’s Who thing. The Mason thing is pretty nice though. But awards won’t drag you down. No one really cares about them unless it’s like “Siemens Science Semifinalist” or “Biology Quiz Bowl/Olympics Winner” LOL… Sorry, I go to a nerd school, I know like 50 kids who have gotten semifinalist and finalist and even won really prestegious awards and not get into Harvard or something. (But they all ended up at MIT or Princeton, so whatever xD)</p>

<p>As for essay:</p>

<p>

but I should have been grateful. I had accidentally punished myself for my own arrogance and learned a valuable lesson, to slow down and listen to others. Enthusiasm should be open-minded.

</p>

<p>I know you can’t change tis, but the last sentence is really random. I know that you were trying to end the story with like a BANG, but unfortunately I didn’t understand why all of a sudden your arrogance brought to enthusiasm. I realize that you were enthusiastic about the whole exploration thing, which is good (shows ur adventurous and open person), but how can enthusiasm be open-minded? What did you open your mind to? The peoples’ ideas? And also, you’re grateful for what. That’s too much of a generalization and sorta failed to sum up all your ideas.</p>

<p>I’m sorry to say that I wasn’t super impressed with the essay. It was a good anecdote, but it sounded more like a story that you tell to your grandchildren than the board of admissions. But as far as grammar and the conveyance of your main ideas are concerned, everything went well.</p>

<p>I have to say your chances are iffy. I can’t say for certain that you will get accepted because of your SAT, but I have to admit that everything else is decent and above par in some cases (such as GPA and ranking). Best of luck to you. :)</p>

<p>You never know; maybe we’ll be classmates next year! Wouldn’t that be simply stellar. What’s your major?</p>

[butterbattle]

<p>Asian>physics. Dang…</p>

[dande1114]

<p>im not asian and regular physics was the easiest class i have ever taken. A+ amen.</p>

[xphage]

<p>do you only have four classes, or am i just confused?</p>

<p>i liked the essay, but that last sentence has to go. your gpa is good, SATs aren’t great. i do know people with your kind of stats who have gotten into cornell. the websecure job sounds kind of interesting, too.</p>

[butterbattle]

<p>

do you only have four classes, or am i just confused?

</p>

<p>Yep, my high school runs on a block schedule. We only have four periods in one day. Each period is 90 minutes long.</p>

<p>WebSecureStores was very interesting, but confusing. I knew practically nothing about web hosting, and I had to learn it by myself. There was just no source to learn from. There aren’t very many textbooks for web hosting administrators (actually, I couldn’t find any). Even by the end of two months, I was only starting to answer customers’ questions. </p>

<p>Yeah, I suppose the next to last sentence might have been a better last sentence. Nobody who read the essay before suggested this though. Isn’t it like a catchy phrase/moral? No? lol.</p>

[svg1990]

<p>Well, you have a nice GPA…But yes, your test scores are iffy, depending on the school. I really enjoyed the ideas in your essay, except your writing is full of indefinite references and suck-upy lines…I mean, “Finally, after about three or four days, I stopped whining long enough to appreciate that I was somewhere new, somewhere different!” … PLEASE. And, “After this epiphany, I glowed with enthusiasm and was filled with an overwhelming desire to try new things and challenge the unknown.” I think that line is a little melodramatic, and your verb structure leaves much to be desired. </p>

<p>It looks like you have a lot going for you, but you need to start thinking about yourself in a more positive light. OK, so you don’t like your school…But you need to make the best of your last days in HS, and stop thinking so pessimistically. Good luck!</p>

<p>(P.S. What school did you apply to?)</p>

[butterbattle]

<p>University of Washington (also applied for the honors program) and University of Portland already accepted me. In fact, U of P gave me merit scholarship. $17,000 per year.</p>

<p>So, now, I’m just waiting for
-Boston University
-Cornell University (#1 choice)
-Stanford University</p>

<p>I stopped applying to the rest of my colleges when I got accepted to U of Washington in the beginning of January. So now, I’m just waiting for my two reach schools. Please let me get in!</p>

[azhao525]

<p>

Yeah, I suppose the next to last sentence might have been a better last sentence. Nobody who read the essay before suggested this though. Isn’t it like a catchy phrase/moral? No? lol.

</p>

<p>Sorry Butter, but I have to agree with xphage on this one. It’s pretty much the same thing I said; Moral things aren’t exactly good to be pointed out so blatantly, and catchy phrases should sorta make sense along with the rest. xD</p>

<p>Read this:

Let’s rummage into Henry Haggard’s bag for some of the most common snooze potions whipped up by seniors. We don’t have to dig very deep:</p>

<p>1. The Trip. This is the one about the visit to Europe, Israel, Kansas, or other exotic land. Applicants make The Trip in the company of family, peers, or even alone in one of the many programs that take students into the home of a foreign family to live. But whatever they are, 99 percent of the travelers seem determined to ignore the small and homely (but significant) details around them in favor of sweeping banalities: “I had to adjust to a whole new way of life. The first thing I noticed was the food, which was very different, as were all the customs; my adopted family’s habits were quite different from anything I was used to, but, by the end of my stay, I had come to accept them. I realized that neither I nor they were wrong, but simply different.” These essays, as you may be able to guess by now, are not very different. It seems that all writers of The Trip “eventually got used to all the cultural differences” and “finally felt like part of the family.” But where are the colors and textures and flavors of something seen and expereinced fresh?</p>

<p>These travels, of course, “broadened my horizons” and “gave me a new perspective on my native land, the United States.” Often, applicants report that living in a foreign country, whose language they had been studying in school, “increased my fluency and facility immensely.” Surprise!</p>

<p>Also well trampled are the Trip paths leading to vague forms of self-discovery in a far flung ancestral homelands. “I got a very religious feeling from the Sistine Chapel and I was proud to be an Italian.” These essays usually show the strong influence of the brochures and airplane travel magazines from which they were lifted. At the end of the Ancestral Trip, writers swell with pride and platitudes of having “learned more than I ever could in history class about my cultural heritage.”</p>

<p>Even wilderness trips, like Outward Bound, can somehow get boiled down into this soggy formula. “On my trip to the Grand Tetons, I learned to work with people and stretch my abilites to the utmost.” Change the first phrase to “In my work as a terrorist,” and the sentiment still folds.

</p>

<p>I just thought that was an interesting passage. It’s from a book called “On Writing the College Application Essay” by Harry Bauld, who was a former admissions officer. The guy is hilarious in all his examples. Although it’s a bit late for college apps now, maybe you can check out the book and avoid similar essays for grad school or something. It’s an awesome awesome book. </p>

<p>Don’t worry, your essay is fine. Could have done a little better, but hey, why bother over stuff you can’t change anyway! :)</p>

[kevinscool]

<p>30/500 isnt bad at all a 3.9 here is ranked 130/540ish.</p>

[azhao525]

<p>a 3.9 here would be the same. I meant 1 B as in like… 3.999 xD</p>

<p>There are lots of people between 3.9 and 3.999; but 3.9 won’t be THAT low though. It would probably be around 60 here? Iono :P</p>

[kevinscool]

<p>1 B? With 1 A- here, the GPA is 3.94… So I dont get how 1 B would be higher than that?</p>

[azhao525]

<p>A- gives you a different GPA? Damn, your school is even more hardcore than mine. LOL</p>

<p>I just calculated our GPAs, and if you got 1B, then it’s 3.98. It’s 4 for all As, 3 for all Bs, (including all + or -), and 2 for all Cs. We have 6 classes here, so therefore 6 semesters of 4.0 with 1 semester of 3.833 gives you 3.98. =)</p>

[butterbattle]

<p>

A- gives you a different GPA? Damn, your school is even more hardcore than mine. LOL

</p>

<p>I’m not sure if I understand. A- is a 4.0?
At my school,
A: 4.0
A-: 3.7
B+: 3.3
B:3.0</p>

[kevinscool]

<p>Some schools dont use - and +. UCs only use As, Bs, Cs. B- and B+ are hte same to them</p>

[butterbattle]

<p>hmmm, don’t see what’s the point of having + and - if it’s the same G.P.A. Whatever, just wondering.</p>

[azhao525]

<p>

At my school,
A: 4.0
A-: 3.7
B+: 3.3
B:3.0

</p>

<p>That sucks! Our school is
A+, A, A- = 4.0
B+, B, B- = 3.0
C+, C, C- = 2.0</p>

<p>and so on…</p>

<p>If it was 3.7 for an A-, I would be SOOO screwed since I had like 293849324 A-s xD; but on the other hand, I also had a bunch of B+s, which I all got 3.0s for… :[</p>

[butterbattle]

<p>Oh, I forgot. Another reason why I’m taking regular physics is my school currently does not have AP Physics!!! 1800+ students, but not enough expressed interest to create an AP Physics class.</p>

<p>Some people on CC were destined to go to Ivy League, like they were trained from the age of one or something. It wasn’t that way for me. In Middle School, I had C’s and almost failed several classes. My brain wasn’t even there.</p>

<p>It wasn’t until my parents divorced and remarried that I really started to step it up. I don’t even know exactly what happened, but I just started motivating myself and wishing that when I grew up, I wasn’t going to be like everyone else: waking up, going to work, going home, being stressed out, complaining about my life. I wanted to be…extraordinary. Success is still so far away, but doesn’t seem as impossible as it used to be. </p>

<p>Hey, I should have turned that into an essay somehow. Drat! No, wait, maybe not; it might sound like that one guy’s…</p>

[FellowCCViewer]

<p>Hey, just wait. Like me (2060, 3.8). We’re not shoo-ins, but we still have a chance. Good luck.</p>