<p>New boss – the fourth in 16 months --and she’s horrible. The silver lining is that her four direct reports (including me) have bonded nicely since she arrived, as have all of our subordinates. She’s really awful. </p>
<p>If I get fired, I get 40 weeks of severance. If I quit, I get nothing. I don’t want to steal from the company or go in there with a gun. (Not exactly my style.) What else can I do to get myself fired?? Suggestions??</p>
<p>Severance for being fired? I ahve never heard this, though i know many people who ‘resigned’ ;), and got 18 months severance…change of management was precusor to ‘resigning’</p>
<p>If you’ve had 4 managers in 16 months the odds are this new one won’t be around very long…maybe hang in there while you job hunt? I worked for a really horrible person years ago and I just bit the bullet until I found a new job. I got four copies of The Art of War for Christmas presents that year from friends and a vendor who felt sorry for me!</p>
<p>Four new bosses in 16 months is a lot of turnover! It sounds like if you just hang on for a few more months, she’ll be gone and your problem will be done.
How about taking a vacation in the near future to give yourself a little break?</p>
<p>It’s my observation that employees respond to this situation very differently. There are the “life is too short for this” people who write a nice resignation note and provide an energetically positive exit interview. I’ve know a few employees who resigned, then complained bitterly in the exit interview. But most seasoned professionals don’t resign until they have another job in hand … a better job, always.</p>
<p>If you have forty weeks of severance in hand, that might be enough to warrant leaving the firm. Can your firm be that inept? To pay a competent employee forty weeks salary to leave?</p>
<p>Benefits for being fired? Never heard of it. Even the state will not pay unemployment to anyone who is “fired”. “Laid off”, “terminated due to lack of work hours offered” etc. - a different story. How about dropping some hints to your boss that the same amount of work can be done with fewer employees? Sort of to get her into the Chainsaw Al mode of thinking?.. Then, of course, the four of you will be fighting for who gets terminated first. :p</p>
<p>If you have not read the book Tne No A**hole Rule by Robert Sutton, I highly recommend checking your local library for a copy.</p>
<p>
Some companies do it, especially when there’s no glaring cause like threatening to kill someone or something, even though they’re an ‘at will’ employer and can let anyone go anytime, to encourage the person to not sue the company for wrongful termination for some reason. The person can still sue if they want but they have to give the severance package back if they do.</p>
<p>OP - Can you wrangle yourself to be next in line to be the boss, assuming you’d want that position? Especially since you don’t care about being let go, maybe schedule an appointment with your boss’s boss and discuss both your current boss as well as the high turnover and if you want, how you’d be a much better pick for that position. This might be a win/win - if you get let go you get your package (hopefully) and if you don’t get let go as a result maybe they’ll fix the problem with your boss.</p>
<ol>
<li>Sleep at desk (preferably with some snoring and drooling).</li>
<li>Use make-up to resemble strange rash</li>
<li>Talk to imaginary co-worker, better yet argue with imaginary co-worker</li>
<li>Come in as a different person</li>
<li>Hand in blank pages as assignments</li>
<li>Wear your exercise clothing to work, punk up your hair</li>
<li>Play, “Bang On the Drum All Day” whenever she arrives</li>
</ol>
<p>Be a whistleblower (or at least a tattletale). Embarrass your boss by outperforming her, or making it clear to her superiors that you are cleaning up after the boss’ mess. Either the boss will be highly motivated to get rid of you, or her superiors will want to get rid of her.</p>
<p>I vote for #3 above and PLEASE videotape it for us all to see! (Hilarious!!!)</p>
<p>OMG, they are all hilarious!</p>
<p>Do the honorable thing and quit your job and forego the severance.</p>
<p>Whether you get severance or not depends on the nature of the firing. I was “downsized” a few years ago and got 47 weeks of severance. Yes, I was fired but the cause was not for cause.</p>
<p>Unemployment is designed for firings without cause, not for people who voluntarily leave. Severance is generally given if the company gives it unless there is cause.</p>
<p>In my case, I had over 20 years in with the company. A horrific new boss came in and the overall company was downsizing. Some people quit but I held out for my severance package, which I finally got after about a year of suffering. I was very fortunate to land my present job within 2 months of my firing (my last day was the last workday before Christmas; luckily, I am Jewish).</p>
<p>Good luck to the OP.</p>
<h1>8 Spend all your working time on Parent Cafe</h1>
<p>Find the episode of Seinfeld where George is attempting to be fired from the Yankees front office. It won’t help your decision, but you’ll find it amusing.</p>
<p>Wow, in my industry, the word “fired” means “fired”, as for non performance - no “ifs” or “buts” about it. Typically, HR would avoid going that route at all costs, even if the person needs to be fired in the old fashioned sense of the word. They will come up with a creative way of “downsizing” to “lay off” or “terminate the position”. Of course, in some instances, if the HR smells a potential lawsuit or any sorts of trouble, thwy will sweeten the deal with extras and an agreeement, as described in GladGradDad’s post. My local industry is so small, it is like a large village, so no one wants to create any enemies.</p>
<p>(I think #8 is really, really good - but that will be termination for cause. #3, OTOH, will make the HR think twice about writing something about your non-performance :))</p>
<p>I have had people who abruptly walked out of their own volition, and were able to get unemployment benefits from our state. They told some pretty big lies in my opinion, and I would have had to hire an attorney to help me appeal it, so they “got over” on the taxpayers. However, since you want severance from your company, you should think carefully as to who has gotten terminated by the company, for what reasons, and whether they got the severance etc.</p>
<p>Years ago, when I worked for a very large company, they went into a downsizing mode, and some support type staff who had been there for 20+ years were let go due to cutbacks. It was horrible how they did it too. They came up to the person with security guards and escorted them out. I heard through the grapevine that they got the company severance as per employee handbook. An acquaintance of mine, who also worked for a huge company, was downsized from a professional job, with a similar non notice, escort out thing, and got a “package” of benefits.</p>
<p>I understand why the companies did this from a security point of view, but how upsetting to the “terminated.”</p>
<p>Why so many different bosses? Was someone from the department promoted or where they from outside? Could you try for the promotion and then find it too challenging to do well?</p>
<p>In some companies it is nearly impossible to get fired, except that you screw up in some way. Then you have to be concerned about poor references.</p>
<p>I vote for #7.</p>
<p>Sure! Same thing happened to me. It was the best year (financially) of my career. In my case I was able to refuse a different assignment which resulted in my being “fired”. I got a bonus + 6 months pay on the way out, and a small signing bonus at my new firm where I started after 1 week off. I collected 2 paychecks for 6 months. </p>
<p>VerryHappy, other than rolling your eyes frequently during meetings I am not sure how you should proceed, but try to hold out for that severance!</p>
<p>I have some additional tips on how to get fired (I was stressed out about my dad last night and was unable to sleep, I amused myself by thinking about this thread):</p>
<ol>
<li> Go to the gym BEFORE work (follow some IDad’s crazy workouts) and do not shower. </li>
<li>Snack on Cheetos or Doritos, ensuring dorito breathe and orange fingerprints on all documents. </li>
<li>Make sure the other co-workers reference YOU whenever they complain about something, i.e., “Well, Very Happy said…”</li>
</ol>
<p>Be careful. With the new AAADA, practically EVERYTHING is a disability, so if you act TOO weird, they will be afraid to ever fire you!</p>