<p>DS and DH left this morning to take DS back to school for 2nd semester Jr. year. I don’t understand why this one is so difficult for me. Maybe because I can’t go this time.</p>
<p>Sigh.</p>
<p>I really did think I was getting better at this. Guess not.</p>
<p>Poor damn me ;)</p>
<p>Mafool, your son is a lucky guy to have love like that!</p>
<p>SJTH-Very sweet. Thank you for turning what I thought was a deficiency on my part into something positive.</p>
<p>My S is a junior in high school but I know it’s going to really hurt from time to time as he transitions to adulthood.</p>
<p>My paternal grandfather was a good man but very quite and did not show his emotions. After dropping my sister and I off at summer camp for the third time, my Dad asked his father, “When does it get easier to let them go?” His father said to him, “I’ll let you know when I get there.”</p>
<p>My son is a first year graduate student, and it bothered me that I had to work on his last day at home when he came here for Christmas. It was my husband who spent that day with him and drove him to the airport. I was jealous. </p>
<p>I don’t think the feeling ever goes away. In fact, as they get older and spend less and less time at home, it becomes more difficult to see them leave. My son’s Christmas visit was the first time he had been home for six months, and he was only here for five days. I’m not sure when I will see him again – it could be as long as a year. </p>
<p>Comparatively speaking, it will be easier to see my daughter leave two weeks from now at the end of her winter break (she’s only a sophomore in college) because I have had the chance to talk with her extensively during her break. Also, I know that most likely she will be home for spring break and that, even if she gets one of the summer internships she has applied for in distant cities, she will probably be home for at least a week or two in the summer.</p>
<p>I thought it was getting easier, too. There were moments when both S and D were home that I longed for the quiet of my empty nester house. Then I was fine when S (who is older) headed off early for his final semester of college amid discussions of “will he walk or won’t he walk?” after only one week at home. But now I am reading this thread and thinking of years to come and feeling tears roll down my cheeks.</p>
<p>When I used to drop off my DS to school and drive back alone, I really hated the 2 hour drive back…it was always the worst drive home with a feeling of palpable loss.</p>
<p>Since then I have begun tagging DH with me on these drives and I feel somewhat better. You need to ensure that immediately after you drop off your kid to school, you are not all alone. It’s easier to deal with the separation if your DH can be with you.</p>
<p>i find it’s getting harder each time, too. i so hoped it would be easier. </p>
<p>the years to come are what i find so hard to think about, too mystery2me. </p>
<p>my youngest is a junior in college, so i am thinking we only have one more long christmas break ahead of us…i took, find that tears come way too easy right now.</p>
<p>I’m a little jealous of all of you; It has been a horrible break with my freshman D1; can’t wait till she leaves; we get along MUCH better when she is at school; my heart goes out to all of you…</p>
<p>Now, if we were discussing HS soph D2 leaving; I could relate…</p>
<p>rodney, the first long break freshman year can be difficult.</p>
<p>Now that S has spent 2.5 years away (including last semester overseas) there aren’t any more apron strings to cut or independence to prove. I try hard to respect his adult status, and though there is occasional tension, for the most part it goes smoothly now.</p>
<p>We just dropped off our S back for his 2nd semester of Soph year. On the ride there I was thinking about how much fun we had over the break this year. I took off most of the time from work and we were able to spend a lot of quality time together. Last year at this time when he was a Freshman, it was different. He was still trying to prove his independence and I was still hanging desperately on to those apron strings.
I am still sad to see him go back, but he was ready to get back with his friends.</p>
<p>It really is bitter sweet. My D will be home still for two weeks, but she and H are going to Georgia to visit his father who is not well, for about a week, leaving Wednesday. I can’t go… so I am very glad they are going, but also a bit jealous of his time with her. Then she will have a couple of days here before going back to school. It is easier in some ways and harder in others. As you all know…</p>
<p>I have to say that this was easier. Leaving S at school in September reduced me to tears. When he left after Thanksgiving, I knew he would be back soon. Now I know that he will be back for spring break, and that I made it through the first quarter, I am not as upset. I even chose to stay home instead of going on the drive…of course, that may be avoidance behavior. :D</p>
<p>Nope. Been on CC since the site started and every year this thread pops up. And every year I come up with the same response. Not better. Not at all.</p>
<p>5 kiddos, 1 w/a BS, 1 to graduate with their degree this May and 2 more for the next 2 years. All planning on grad school. And no I don’t feel any better than 6 years ago when the first one left. At least then the rest were at home. Now they all leave and it REALLY sucks.</p>
<p>I really hope they all decide to go in-state for grad school. (this being one of the main reasons we moved 5 years ago across the country 3000 miles so they could be in-state for the grad schools here!)</p>
<p>Kat</p>
<p>It will be really hard for me tomorrow morning as my H takes my D to the airport. She has informed us that she will not be home for spring break, although she has no other definite plans and is talking about not wanting to come home for the summer. Part of it is that she really has no friends here anymore- she had very few in high school and now even they have drifted apart.</p>
<p>rodney – I haven’t exactly been loving D’s freshman year XMAS break either.</p>
<p>We saw our D off at the airport this morning and drove home in silence. It’s hard. She’s 18 and old enough to negotiate interstate travel, but she still feels like a 5-year-old in my heart. Luckily she is very good at texting. She texted when she got seated on the plane, when she landed and when she arrived safely in her dorm. Then she texted a few minutes ago to say that it’s snowing! </p>
<p>With S, who has been away at school over three years, it is easier to let go. Maybe practice makes perfect.</p>
<p>Hey Kat, it’s good to see you again! I haven’t seen your screen name in a while. Hope all is well with you!</p>
<p>My ds does not leave until the end of the week, and I was wondering if it would be very emotional for me again or if it would be less so. I thought maybe because at this point I’m a little tired of the late nights and the friends over all the time I’d be relieved to see him go–though I thought I’d feel that way after the summer and then I was completely devastated to leave him at school. </p>
<p>I have to say that I’m not finding it a terribly fulfilling visit because he’s very busy socializing and on a very different schedule than the rest of us. I didn’t expect it to be much different but I thought he’d have a little more down time at home. I find myself asking his friends when they’re headed back to school–hoping that they’ll be gone a few days before him so he’ll have less activity. </p>
<p>I’d like to throw a question out here to those of you who go through this emotional separation every time, and as a disclaimer let me say that I’m not trying to start a controversy. I’m just curious about whether this is a factor or not.</p>
<p>I have been a stay-at-home mom since ds was born. I still have two boys at home, but I find myself wondering if maybe the transition has been harder for me because I don’t have a career or job that would be a distraction. The whole working/stay-at-home thing is so ridiculously touchy that it’s hard to even articulate it without fearing I’m going to annoy somebody. I stayed home for a lot of reasons and I’m not regretting it, but I did wonder if my incredibly difficult adjustment to the first one flying the nest would’ve been different if I’d had a job outside the home. Anybody?</p>
<p>We took DD back to school yesterday, and today has been sadder, gloomier, and quieter than the first time we dropped her off in September. We had a really great time with her over the break. She seemed more mature and more appreciative than she was this summer, and she and I got along fabulously. Now I’m tired and sad and my heart hurts. She is our only child, which obviously doesn’t help.</p>
<p>Helen, I don’t know if working outside the home would help. I have an outside job (always have), and honestly, I don’t think work will be much of a distraction for me for the next few days (it sure didn’t help much back in September.) Maybe that just makes me a lousy worker! RIght now, I just want to curl up in a ball and watch endless reruns of some mindless TV show…</p>