"I Too Am Harvard"

Parents Forum
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<p>Variances in content, context and meaning:</p>

<p>A. 84 year old grandmotherly woman to 25 year old working mother in the frozen food section at 5pm:
(Touching the 2 year old on the top of her head)
“What aisle do I find her in? She’s so cute, I want to buy one for myself.”</p>

<p>B. 35 year old balding man with poor hygiene to 18 year old mother in the hair products section at 10am:
(Touching the 2 year old on the top of her head)
“What aisle do I find her in? She’s so cute, I want to buy one for myself.”</p>

<p>C. 27 year old attractive woman to 37 year old trim, professional-looking father in the bakery section at 7pm:
(Touching the 2 year old on the top of her head)
“What aisle do I find her in? She’s so cute, I want to buy one for myself.”</p>

<p>D. 7 year old girl in floral dress to 30 year old mother in the greeting card section at 4pm:
(Touching the 2 year old on the top of her head)
“What aisle do I find her in? She’s so cute, I want to buy one for myself.”</p>

<p>E. 54 year old white male missing front teeth in camo overalls to 35 year old black mother near her SUV at 6pm:
(Touching the 2 year old on the top of her head)
“What aisle do I find her in? She’s so cute, I want to buy one for myself.”</p>

<p>Guess you had to be there.</p>

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<p>This thread has taught me that some people will be offended no matter my intentions & life is too short to tippy toe.</p>

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<p>You cannot go through life without unintentionally offending someone. Life will always be riddled with misinterpreted social interactions. You, yourself, must decide what is worth to clear up and what is worth to let go. Not everyone can always be 100% pleased with what they face in their life on a day to day basis. Those who desire will fight for what the feel is necessary. Some will fight harder and longer than others. Some will “keep calm and carry on”. It’s just the nature of the game. </p>

<p>If you don’t care about what you say and how it makes people feel, say so! Don’t tread around proclaiming how the other person is being too sensitive. Proclaim how you don’t care if it offends them or not. Own up to it. If you’re racist, say you’re racist. If you’re insensitive, say you’re insensitive. And vice versa. If you’re sensitive, say so. If you push for everyone to get along, say so. Both sides should realize that there is an “other side” to their beliefs. </p>

<p>I though many adults would’ve realized this earlier…</p>

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<p>Actually, the saying, paraphrased, goes: it’s not what you think you are saying, it’s what the other guy hears. So, it’s not “no matter what my intentions.” More about what actually was said. Intentions are a starting point. There can still be a filter before it jumps out. or jumps out poorly. No matter how darned curious you are. Its not that hard. </p>

<p>I wondered if there’s hyper-sensitivity on this thread because these H kids are Black. What if it were the disabled who had held up signs. “Yes, I can read.” “No, it wasn’t easier to get into Harvard.” “You don’t have to shout at me?” Would we be dismissing them or assuming they speak for all disabled, all angry disabled, some disabled guy who offended you or whatever? We tell our kids not to point or blurt. </p>

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<p>Plot twist. :)</p>

<p>I feel the reactions would be different from the start of the thread (Think: more sympathetic, sensitive), but would boil down how this thread did in the end (Think: How are we supposed to know how they react to their disability?).</p>

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<p>A group of black people rally around a perception that they are being unfairly or insensitively treated. Despite their diversity of background and even national origin, these students believe their skin color makes them part of special group and that assumptions are made about them based on skin color. They speak of broadening their movement to include other “people of color.” I am not even sure who that includes. It can’t be a determination based on culture, because we’ve been told there is no “our culture.” How do they define “of color”? I ask because last I checked there were no colorless people. I’m quite certain my skin is not transparent. As a matter of fact, it’s not white either. (How rude that I’ve been labeled white when my skin is actually light pink.) Seems to me this group is doing exactly what they accuse white people of doing: assuming white is the default condition and everything else is “of color” </p>

<p>So only white people are excluded from this movement, which means only white people are the guilty ones. And you wonder why the word “racist” came into the discussion?<br>
.</p>

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<p>Niquii77

</p>

<p>Isn’t that a big part of the issue? The students holding the signs may not have the traits you think they hold but their behavior has an impact on what people think about them.</p>

<p>However…had a blinding flash on insight while on the treadmill. No one who participates in these types of thread topics has their minds changed. These threads tend to be dominated by high post contributors with very well know and very predictable POV’s. and who have the large amount of time to add rebuttal after rebuttal to the ‘lesser’ of the crowd. The (not veiled)…let me tell you about yourself and how I’ve evaluated you to be so lacking in (pick your adjective) is a common, and again, predictable response pattern.</p>

<p>FWIW: There are particular family members who excel at the ‘you insulted me’ lifestyle. It could have been a facial expression, it could have been a tone of voice or body language, it could have been the situation. It really didn’t matter - what mattered was I found myself falling into this pattern. Luckily, it became clear that it was an exhausting and rather non-productive approach to life. And, it wasn’t good for the blood pressure either. So, gave it up.</p>

<p>Niquii77:…

Good thing we have the above mentioned contributors to parent us in our adulthood.</p>

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<p>I saw the “other people of color” comment and thought they meant, at Harvard.</p>

<p>Yes, some posters are widening their views. You can see it in their words (even if not in their position.) I’m always happy when I can see both sides are at least thinking. And not so, when others go in circles. So be that.</p>

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<p>

You’d be surprised, dietz. :)</p>

<p>Here’s a little testimony on my behalf. I am aware my comments portray me more extreme than I truly am, mainly because I comment when things start to go off the deep end in my opinion.</p>

<p>With this said, this thread is not “useless” and only for those whose minds are “unchanged”. If anything, this thread has made me more patient with those who makes tongue-in-cheek comments about my race. I know in the future, I’ll give them a little more time to rethink what they said. If someone bumps elbows with me in line for a potluck and says, “I know you’re hoping for that watermelon!” I will inquisitively look back at them, joke back, and say, “Everyone loves watermelon, but you seem to be the most excited.” Smile like the guy in White Chicks and look the other way. </p>

<p>These threads are always enlightening to me. Sure, some feathers are ruffled in the process, but I’m one who believes that talks as these are never “useless” and give everyone involved and onlooking a chance to be more tolerant and gain a broadened outlook. </p>

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<p>The older I get, the more I realize that many people live unexamined lives. People are stressed and busy, and so it is far easier to just react to what comes when it comes, rather than to plan, prepare, and live intentionally. I think we can all do better at planning in advance to be more careful of what we say and more careful about how we react to what others say to us. Niquii has modeled that above.</p>

<p>Whenever I have heard Condoleezza Rice speak about her childhood, she has impressed me. She does not sugar coat her experience with racism, but speaks of it matter-of-factly. She tells it like it was, and it was bad. But her whole attitude suggests that she did not and does not let it define her. That doesn’t mean she is passive or weak, or that she makes nice with discrimination. Not at all. She still fights for her rights, as she did very recently regarding joining an all-male golf club. Yet she doesn’t wear an angry, bitter face or rail against entire groups of people, or in that case, accuse an entire gender. She used a targeted method to address a specific problem. Now she’s going to tackle some of the injustices with college football play-off selections. I think that’s really cool… </p>

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<p>“Yet she doesn’t wear an angry, bitter face or rail against entire groups of people.”</p>

<p>Did any of the Harvard students do these things, in your view? Which ones?</p>

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<p>@lookingforward - Your take is an interesting one that represents why people, except the supposed beneficiaries, do not buy into such forced programs - the programs only go one way.</p>

<p>If these programs are for the benefit of everyone, I wonder the reaction if white and other ethnicity students put up a similar pictogram of things they do not like that black students say to or about them? Let me help you - they would be dragged up to some diversity board and then expelled. If anyone doubts me, go try it. If the programs were for everyone, the other students would feel the freedom to voice differing opinions if they want. They do not because they are scared to death. Thanks for the wonderful multicultural atmosphere that has been created, where only certain people get to speak out freely, while using administrations as a willing disciplinary hammer to silence opposing views.</p>

<p>Great politics though - it’s smart political to say diversity programs are for everyone, but that is clearly not the case and everyone knows it. Even the students at Harvard who did the pictogram know it. They know that white or other ethnicity students would not dare counteract what they say, even if every other student agreed with the opposite point-of-view in the article. It is a one-way street. (I also noticed no one answered the inquiry the one poster asked about ‘it’s racists/hurtful if I say it is’. No one answered I suspect because they do not feel the need to. It is a one-way street, so that question can be ignored. If it was a two-way street, someone would have answered.) </p>

<p>And, unfortunately, diversity does seem to be about bringing exotics to campus. Last time I checked, HBCUs were not actively recruiting Whites, Asians, Latinos etc. How come the students at HBCUs do not need diversity (if it is for everyone) and do not require a forced program to learn from others? Why? Because, the diversity programs only are meant to go one way - it is standard political double-speak to say they are for everyone. The same goes for women colleges too - where are the men for diversity sake? The it is for everyone argument falls apart rather fast for anyone willing to just look around.</p>

<p>Institute diversity programs at all schools for all people and eliminate diversity disciplinary boards so all students can speak freely, and then I might buy into the fact the programs are for everyone. But right now, the programs are not; at least not the way they are currently implemented. </p>

<p>I am aware that my positions may seem like I am against these programs. I could care less one way or the other about most programs. However, what I do care about and bring to light is when programs are not what they say they are. And, more importantly, regardless of any programs good intentions, the intellectual thing to do is to objectively judge the programs actual effects on the ground. Good intentions are not good enough; it is the results and actual effects that matter because that is what we all have to live with. Good intentions die the minute an errant policy or program is put into place.</p>

<p>In general, thanks everyone for the invigorating exchange of ideas that I might add if it happened on a college campus today would get a few students expelled - I would be one. I think that says it all right there. We are free to speak here, but not on a college campus that is supposed to be the bastion for the exchange of ideas; only certain people get to speak freely there now. Go figure. That is one amazing demotion from colleges’ original mission.</p>

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<p>

</p>

<p>Full ride and laptop for stats at Howard: <a href=“http://www.howard.edu/financialaid/grants_scholarships.htm#Freshman”>http://www.howard.edu/financialaid/grants_scholarships.htm#Freshman&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;

<p>…available to white, yellow, black, brown red and probably even purple people.</p>

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<p>You need to read up on the diversity defenses from the “amici” briefs filed by many colleges. To be honest, a voice here and there, bemoaning private college diversity interests, is going up against their well-considered and well-defended views.
bring to light is when programs are not what they say they are. So, tell us how you know. For some reason, people downplay minority worthiness. Even at the “most selective” level. </p>

<p>have fun with this one: <a href=“Number of Female Harvard Law Review Editors Nearly Doubled in First Gender-Based Affirmative Action Cycle | News | The Harvard Crimson”>http://www.thecrimson.com/article/2013/10/7/law-review-female-editors/&lt;/a&gt; </p>

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<p>Yes. Please review my various posts (including the one just above) which explain why I think this project targets white people as a group as the offenders, rather than the specific individuals who made the comments. Doing this links each perceived insensitive incident in 2014 to a history of racism about which blacks are justifiably angry. Please also see my earlier post regarding proper protocol for when someone offends you, which does not involve publicly complaining about the offense nor attributing offensive behavior to the entire race to which that individual belongs. The method chosen indicates that bitterness has been building inside these students such that they want to draw attention to their victimhood, instead of directly addressing the problem with the individuals and campus authorities. In addition, please review the linked video by the gay activist which offers an alternative approach to outrage that a member of a minority which has been discriminated against can take, that builds relationship. And finally, yes, some of their faces do look angry to me. But since I’m white, I am sure I will be told I know nothing about how black faces look when they’re angry. Besides, why do you think it would be a good idea to single out specific students? I won’t do that. </p>

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<p>Actually, awcntdb, HBCU’s ARE recruiting other ethnicities to their schools. I sat in on a seminar less than a year ago about that very topic. Hispanics in particular are finding HBCUs to be a good option for smaller schools with good support systems, as well as a strong background in teaching kids to deal with a majority-white working world, according to a couple of ad coms who spoke. FWIW, the valedictorian at Morehouse a few years ago was white, and Hampton has had a white homecoming queen. </p>

<p>Also, it’s not about “not needing diversity”. It’s about being someplace where you don’t need to explain yourself all the time and IF YOU WANT TO , to find other like-minded black students. There are also those who won’t be like-minded, but that’s ok too. But the critical mass is there if you want it. I’ve yet to meet an HBCU grad who regretted attending.</p>

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<p>^^ Sure, but please note my context. 1) Having something available is not the same as actively recruiting for another purpose where stats are routinely ignored. 2) And this is definitely not the same as having diversity programs where the government, if it decides to, forces a college to prove it is not discriminating because of not having a certain percentage of X people on its campus. Give Howard kudos - they actually list qualifying stats! That puts them one step ahead of diversity programs, which seem to make up qualifications as they go along.</p>

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<p>Re: <a href=“"I Too Am Harvard" - #333 by OHMomof2 - Parents Forum - College Confidential Forums”>"I Too Am Harvard" - #333 by OHMomof2 - Parents Forum - College Confidential Forums;

<p>Yes, and several other HBUs also have some good merit scholarships, available to all (take a look at the merit scholarship sticky threads in the financial aid and scholarships section). Yet, in some threads, when such an HBU or scholarship is mentioned to a non-black student who may otherwise find the HBU suitable (offers intended major, etc.), the reaction (often by others) is to suggest that such a student would not fit in there.</p>

<p>A few HBUs no longer have predominantly black enrollment.</p>

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<p>re: 4:35.
Disagree. With your premise and your opinion. That simple. I believe you think and believe all this. I don’t see the connections you make, the ones your position hangs on. I don’t see bitter or anti-white or victimhood. Nor “outrage.” Nor why one gay person supposedly speaks for all gays or makes problems gays face have some magic perspective.</p>

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<p>If you look at the guaranteed-for-stats full tuition/full ride thread here on CC you’ll find 3-4 HBCUs on that list. Howard is just the most well known of them and probably the most generous. Tuitioon, fees, room, board, books and a laptop!</p>

<p>What’s kind of interesting about it to me is that one of the most well respected HBCUs in the country has to actively recruit students this way because so many kids don’t want to go to one.</p>

<p>Actually editing to add that apparently the elite universities that aren’t historically black are so actively recruiting bright black students that HBCUs are hurting for them. Or so says the NYT: <a href=“Hard Times at Howard U. - The New York Times”>http://www.nytimes.com/2014/02/09/education/edlife/a-historically-black-college-is-rocked-by-the-economy-infighting-and-a-changing-demographic.html&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;

<p>HBCUs were born during segregation when many bright black students couldn’t go elsewhere. I wonder how it will go for them now.</p>