So, I am trying to figure out Ferpa. My understanding is: My 20 yo son attends college. He has no income so must request money from his parents. We pay his tuition, housing, books, etc. Then if we have a question about the product/ service we purchased - we cannot inquire unless our child gives consent? How bizarre. When the bill is due, how about if we give it to our son?
I have a daughter who is 14. When she turned 12, the doctor’s office wanted to meet with her alone, and ask questions about drunk driving, sex and drugs. The Dr’s office said that I would need my daughter’s permission to be involved in these discussions. I agreed, and then advised my 12 year old to sign the financial responsibility form. The office laughed and thought that I was joking. I was not. My daughter has nothing to hide and at the prompting of the Dr.'s office she signed some form. However, I am not willing to blindly pay for things. So, same thing with this Ferpa business. I cannot check my son’s grades, enrollment status, etc however the college bill continues to come to his parents. Strange.
I know everyone will say - ask your son to give you access. The problem is that I’m sure my (separated) husband has access. Previously, I trusted that his grades were fine, finances were fine, etc. However now that we are going through a divorce I am trying to access some info at the school. The door is slammed in my face. That is fine. When the bills arrive, I will shred them. I will refuse to support his education pursuits if I do not know what I am supporting.
So my main question is this: I am interested to know if the parents of college kids know of a class action lawsuit re: this law. Or if anyone can recommend an attorney that is interested in these kinds of cases.
Good luck. I doubt you’ll get anywhere. Legally at 18 the kids are adults. They can do anything they want. And have the right to privacy. The only leverage we parents have is $$$$. So, as we told our kid – no access, no money. Funny how that worked.
LOL. I like your approach. Yes, I will try that.
You could spend the next ten years on a lawsuit. Or you could try communicating with your kid.
Your call.
Why are you only concerned now that you are divorcing? You trusted him when you were married.
It is quite clear that you are very hurt and angry with the divorce proceedings as evidenced by your statement that you are sure your separated husband has access to the records. You may not want to hear this now, but FERPA is a very important law that has protected you and your son all through his years of education. Why would you jump to a law suit when the VERY simple and easy fix is to have your son sign the release. We informed both of our children if they expected mom and dad to financially support them and their education that we expected them to sign the consent form on move in day. It was simply part of the admission process.
@yourmomma that is my rule too - you don’t want me to see? then figure out how to pay for yourself
Ok, Ecmother. I can try that. The University’s holiday begins next week I believe. For most of you that is an easy fiz. However in our case (contentious divorce, son is strongly aligned with his father) it may be more difficult. I will try that though. Our son will be on vacation and has already indicated that he plans to stay with his father (Dad lives in a DTLA Loft…not very family friendly…) So Ferpa it seems to me is unfair for parents who are excluded from the child’s life. Oh well, at least I have my daughter on my side.
This is sounding more and more like a dispute between you and your soon to be ex and you are dragging your son into it. That will not bode well for your future relationship with your son. If your husband is paying his tuition then it should not be any of your concern.
If your kid is on your tax returns and you are paying for his tuition then you would have right to view his school records.
https://www2.ed.gov/policy/gen/guid/fpco/ferpa/students.html
The link also says if the school thinks a student is in danger (health, overdose alcohol/drugs) then they can contact the parents without the student’s consent.
Your part of the financial contribution can depend on your son granting access.with regard to your daughter, your doctor is trying to help you. Teens often will disclose information to doctors they won’t share with parents, and doctors will advise parents as necessary. I know of at least 1 teen suicide prevented that way. It is good for teens to have more adults to consult on important matters, particularly in your situation. I would encourage my daughter to share with her doctor, therapist, clergy, or whomever she trusts.
OP- I am sad that you are going through a tough time. But being your son’s ally instead of his enemy is going to help you long term after the dust settles on the divorce. And creating a dynamic between your kids where you have your daughter on your side, and your ex has your son pits your kids against each other which is just very, very sad. What happens when you and your ex are dead and your kids still have no relationships with each other because of a dynamic you created 50 years earlier.
Dial it back. Talk to your son about his semester (not focused on his grades, the bill, or any other information that right now you don’t have access to.) Build a bridge, don’t discuss your ex with him. Be interested in his life, find something fun to do with both your kids.
If you repair the relationship now you may find your son very willing to give you access to his information without a fight. But if you take every disagreement to Defcon 5 (sue over Ferpa? That’s a bit extreme) your son will have more and more cause to avoid spending time with you.
And yes, the mom always thought her daughter shared everything and was happy and thus was shocked by the doctor’s news.
Thank you so much Old fort. I will take a screen shot of that information. And yes, roycroft, I agree that my daughter needs other trusted adults in her life. She has an aunt. Mr TomSR, you hit the nail on the head. This is a battle between my ex and I. My son is an adult, and he will be fine however he is involved.
Good luck to you, OP. I surely would never tell an aunt anything, nor would she ask about depression, drinking, pot the way a doctor does. But your relationships may differ greatly.
How/who do you “sue” re: a federal law?
“Or if anyone can recommend an attorney”
This thread might just have jumped the shark.
No lawyer would take the case.
I know several lawyers who would be happy to take the case. That’s never an issue. The best way for a struggling small firm to get on the front page of the Washington Post, Wall Street Journal, and NYT is with a lawsuit like this. The point is not to win, the point is free advertising… once the appearance on Fox News, the phones ring off the hook and long term financial stability is pretty much in the bag.
I never received a bill from either daughter’s college. The statements were posted online and it was the student’s responsibility to pay. The parent could request an access code to pay (and view) a bill, but that wouldn’t give them access to grades, course selection, email, other info. Nothing to shred at my house, except the requests to make contributions.
Both kids just gave me their passwords and I went into the accounts to make sure all the aid was posted correctly and that they received their loan money. Both also signed the FERPA so that I could talk to financial aid people if I needed to. It was their choice to have me involved.
The bill is the responsibility of the student. The grades and courses are the private information of student.
Try getting the medical records of your son. Nope. Once he is 18 you have no right to request the information even though you paid for every one of those vaccinations.