<p>Parochial Catholic HS tuition varies per parish. I just checked the local one - their tuition for non-Catholic students is $8,500.
Private (non-parochial) Catholic HS have higher tuition.</p>
<p>I think this thread should be closed. We already established the GPA will drop. Right now, the OP is just fighting everyone who isn’t voting for her for ‘Aunt of the Year’. She isn’t taking in anything in. She’s just hovering around our responses and not taking the advice. This thread has run its course.</p>
<p>I’ll chime in one last time: I said that I went to a Catholic school despite not being Catholic. This is because my very well-off uncle (who at the time didn’t have children of his own) agreed to help pay for my school on the condition that I go to a Catholic school. As we were living in a terrible school district at the time, my parents jumped at this offer. My uncle offered to pay because I was family and he wanted what was best for me. I have no qualms about extended relatives paying for schools for whatever reasons.</p>
<p>My main concern is that you want the school to be a surrogate parent. That isn’t going to happen no matter what type of school it is. I also think you’re expecting way too much from the school. It isn’t a magical fix. Students should go to a private school (or public) because it’s what’s best for the student and his/her circumstances. </p>
<p>I wish your niece the best. </p>
<p>I’m in complete agreement with @Torveaux. Torveaux, you said everything so kindly and eloquently!</p>
<p>My input is that the study skills learned, and the motivation provided by the Catholic private school culture is worth any temporary dip in GPA. I also think that the dip would be recovered later anyway.</p>
<p>I do agree, too, that since not all Catholic schools are have the same level of achievement, that investigating the local options and looking for a super one, maybe a Catholic Prep, would provide the a positive environment that fosters focus, excellence, time management, work ethic, and has a group of positive classmates and future friends.</p>
<p>If she was interested in Student Council this year, I also think your niece would enjoy the service-oriented activities offered at the Catholic school.</p>
<p>@AuntJulia, I do think you are very generous and kind to give your niece and your sister the gift of providing her tuition.</p>
<p>If your niece, sister and BIL are all on-board for this decision, I truly hope that your niece thrives at the new school and realizes the wonderful potential that you see in her.</p>
<p>@anniebeats, I don’t know what is going on with you here–are you still deciding whether to send your own kids to private schools?–but I think you need to back off. “We” haven’t established anything about the student’s GPA, nor could we, since we do not have the ability to see into the future. Nor, IMHO, do you have any idea of what the OP is or is not taking in. Nor do you get to proclaim which threads should be closed, and when. </p>
<p>I honestly think you are too personally invested here, for some reason. Do yourself a favor. Drop by the methadone thread. :)</p>
<p>
Then put your offer on the table for the family and back off. That is - you tell your sister and niece that if niece chooses to transfer to the private school you have in mind, you will pay the tuition. If she chooses to stay where she is, that’s her (and her parent’s) choice. </p>
<p>It’s generous and fair for you step in and solve a problem (lack of finances). Trying to use your money to manipulate others’ choices is not – and things will come back to bite you, sooner or later.</p>
<p>There is a difference between a “bribe” and an “incentive” – sporadic, small incentives tend to work well to motivate people, bribes tend to demotivate. The difference is one of amount and it depends on the circumstances - so if you offered your niece $50 if she would run for student council, with a promise of an additional $50 if she won - that might fall into the “incentive” category – if you offered $1000, then I think it’s out of line and sending the wrong message.</p>
<p>@Consolation The OP has fought everything that isn’t in agreement with her. She’s not being receptive. That’s obvious. She was out of line when she asked if I was atheist or agnostic because I didn’t agree with her plan. Also, I’m giving my opinion-- which I’m entitled to. So I do get to proclaim whatever I want. Whether a moderator chooses to close it is different. I can say whatever I want. I’m not emotionally invested in this forum or this thread. You’ve got some nerve. Your emoticon doesn’t change anything either.</p>
<p>I, too, agree with @torveaux and @busyperson,
“If your niece, sister and BIL are all on-board for this decision, I truly hope that your niece thrives at the new school and realizes the wonderful potential that you see in her.”</p>
<p>And in response to the other people who say “it might not help anything; it might be more of the same at the new school, you just never know…” Well you will never know for sure unless you try it. </p>
<p>Also, working towards building character, respect, good work ethic, etc is much more important than trying to keep a GPA “high” IMHO. And while there is no guarantee for the former and the new school, why not just give it a shot? It will be harder with baggage at the old HS.</p>
<p>“I think this thread should be closed. We already established the GPA will drop. Right now, the OP is just fighting everyone who isn’t voting for her for ‘Aunt of the Year’. She isn’t taking in anything in. She’s just hovering around our responses and not taking the advice. This thread has run its course.”</p>
<p>@AnnieBeats, I think this is totally uncalled for, and you have some nerve to decide this thread has run it’s course. If you don’t want to participate further then just don’t post on it anymore. </p>
<p>Echoing Consolation, it is not written in stone the niece’s GPA will go down. She likely will have to work harder then she is used to, but this might actually keep her grades up. </p>
<p>If the niece’s parents are on board with her switching schools and the niece wants to - I say go for it. </p>
<p>Tuition at my son’s school was $15K - a bargain, imo.</p>
<p>@Torveaux, well said. </p>
<p>@emilybee I am entitled to an opinion. There are tons of threads where people reccomend that it should be closed. I think it has run it’s course. My opinion and I’m not asking you to agree. However, I will not engage in futile arguments about whether or not it was fair to say that the thread needs to be closed, so I’m not going to engage you in conversation regarding this matter.</p>
<p>" I think it has run it’s course."</p>
<p>Then I expect to not see you wasting your time and posting anymore on it. </p>
<p>@calmom The amount was offered if she ran and won (as to prevent sabotage, e.g., “My parents made me do it, don’t bother voting for me.”) It was less than $1000. And well worth it, I might add. Not for the title, but to encourage her to step out of her comfort zone and I knew it would place her around ambitious peers.</p>
<p>But more than $100? </p>
<p>I think it stops being an incentive and turns into a bribe when the money is disproportionate to the amount of effort required. It actually devalues whatever the money is paid for. There is a lot of behavioral research that document the effect. </p>
<p>I think context is important, too. If the kid said she was thinking of running for student council but didn’t think she could win, I could see the value of a little bit of nudge. On the other hand, if the kid said she had no interest in running because student council at her school is such a joke that no one wants to be on it - then paying the student to run would probably not have the intended effect. I can picture a kid pocketing the money and laughing at the big joke on her aunt – and at the same time totally slacking off and never even bothering to attend student council meetings. </p>
<p>I could picture that, calmom, and I could also picture a kid being pleased and proud that she was elected and actually getting involved. And I don’t think there is any way to predict which way it might go. </p>
<p>I agree with you that she should just put the offer on the table, make sure they know she means it, and let them decide. </p>
<p>I also agree that the whole thing could backfire on her. But I don’t think that is a reason not to at least try. </p>
<p>This is what I don’t understand about CC. Who gets to decide $100 is appropriate and $1000 is too much? Really? Why wouldn’t $10 be appropriate and $100 is too much? Each family is different when it comes to finance. Why does it matter how much the incentive is anyway. I used to bribe my kid all the time and they turned out great.</p>
<p>I’m not sure it’s the amount as much as the fact she had to be bribed at all to challenge herself. I think things can get really pricey once the niece gets to the private school and needs to be bribed to take challenging courses and study and stay away from the bad crowd. If Auntie has the funds and the willingness…go for it…</p>
<p>I think that some kids need a kick-start to get them out of a rut. That is not the same thing as a perpetual need to get paid in order to do what makes sense for her own future. </p>
<p>There is a personality type that tends to downplay talents so they do not outshine their friends. This may be because they do not make new friends easily or because they feel that they are ‘helping’. This comes out a lot in boys who are very smart, but often have mediocre grades. These types do not think about it as challenging themselves, they are looking to conform because of insecurities, even if they are unfounded. I don’t know this kid or her psyche, but none of us do. Let’s not get too worried about how she reacts to cash incentives unless she shows signs of it being a problem.</p>
<p>@oldfort – as I said, there’s a huge amount of behavioral research to back up the fact that people tend to react negatively to bribes, vs. incentives. Here’s a starting point to get familiar with the research:
<a href=“http://faculty.chicagobooth.edu/emir.kamenica/documents/behavioralIncentives.pdf”>http://faculty.chicagobooth.edu/emir.kamenica/documents/behavioralIncentives.pdf</a></p>
<p>I think part of the issue is that if the amount offered is too high, it either sends the message - “this must be incredibly difficult or unlikely to happen, or else no one in their right mind would offer so much money.” It could also cause a person with little confidence to think that they are being set up to fail - let’s say the offer was $500 – instead of thinking “if I can get elected, I’ll get $500” - the student may think, “this is so unfair! I can run, but I can’t control whether people vote for me or not” – and instead of triggering the reward center in the brain, the loss-aversion part kicks in and the student starts thinking how the prospect of “losing” $500 will make a narrow defeat even more heartbreaking. If the large reward is paid for something the person didn’t want to do in the first place, then she might be happy in the short run to take the money, but feel resentment in the long run. (“I never wanted this stupid position in the first place. These meetings are boring and I have to miss class time to attend them. I only did this because my aunt forced me to.”). </p>
<p>If it’s a smaller reward, then it is perceived more as something more closely aligned to the effort entailed - something attainable and something that won’t engender a sense of being pressured to do something the student didn’t want. Given that the Aunt was only going to pay if the niece won the election, it would have to have been an amount that she could have shrugged off without undue disappointment if she ran, put in her best effort, and lost. </p>
<p>calmom - how do you decide whether a reward is too small or big? Why are you such an expert when it comes to teenage behavior? You are a lawyer, right? </p>
<p>Wow, that was fast. You’ve managed to read that 20 page article I linked to already?</p>
<p>So what research have you found to contradict it?</p>