<p>That is wonderful about this child going to Harvard but that seems like a very different situation than what is being described here. In terms of the niece, I’m not sure there will be anything magical that will happen with pulling her out of her current school and putting her into a private Catholic school. It might be just as good to keep her where she is, hope her leadership position helps , and have her take some honors classes if she is ready for them. </p>
<p>I have a friend whose daughter had some issues and she wanted her to attend a particular school that the district would not pay for. The district had a list of schools that they would pay for, but the desired school was not on the list. My friend has an aunt who stepped in ( no kids of her own) and paid for this girl’s school. The difference is that she simply paid the tuition while the girl’s mom still made all of the decisions. </p>
<p>@sevmom
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<p>Well, I do know more than her/them in this regard. Why does this have to be danced around? We’re family, she knows my credentials and I believe she appreciates and understands that I can help position her daughter for success. The only issue is when egos and insecurities come into play, which is I believe what you’re getting at?</p>
<p>Jumping over a bunch of posts but a little bribe never hurt now and then. I used one to bolster internal motivation this spring. I hadn’t done it before and didn’t cross my mind with Saintkid #1 but Saintkid #2 was at a crossroads with his GPA second semester Jr year and needed to lay it all out there. It wasn’t the only factor in the resulting success but it added a little tangible nudge. </p>
<p>With all due respect , credentials don’t mean a whole lot when raising kids. You are not a consultant or life coach when it comes to your niece. You are her aunt. </p>
<p>I find it incredibly fascinating I was criticized for bribery (to run and win student council) and now some feel what I encouraged her to do (seek a leadership position) could be the key to her turn-around?</p>
<p>Since this is now in the open, what is it that you know more about than them? Education? Peer relationships? Child psychology? I’m not being snarky at all. I’m just glad we can be frank, and I want to understand what you are more knowledgeable about. </p>
<p>It sounds like the “bribe” was really more along the lines of a dare. At any rate, it worked.</p>
<p>And while winning Student Council Rep election is great, it’s hardly a reason to feel shackled to the old school if the environment is not a good fit for her.</p>
<p>@AuntJulia Do you not feel that she should honor her commitments? Yes you bribed her, but now that she has the position she should follow through. Walking away from this seems disingenuous. Give her a semester in honors classes, have her do leadership and if she hasn’t improved move her at the semester.</p>
<p>If the niece has a leadership position and possibly a new peer group, and then she begins to take a few honors classes, will the environment still be a poor one for her? I don’t know the answer- just wondering. </p>
<p>Auntjulia, do you pa on involving the niece in a discussion of what she wants or might want for herself - her hopes, dreams, goals? As a consultant, you could use your facilitation skills to draw her out. Right now it feels that you have a vision for her, but she may not have that same vision. </p>
<p>@scholarme It was a bribe. No money on the table, she never would have done it.</p>
<p>Agree with your second point. That said, I’m opened minded to hearing other’s opinions.</p>
<p>I feel like some of you disregard the urgency. While things could change in the fall at the public, I haven’t detected anything year over year that would allow me to bet on it. If it’s more of the same this year, I don’t see her changing… perhaps ever. That’s my biggest concern. If life was a video game and you could push reset in January '15 after a semester 3 of more of the same, sure leave her there. But you can’t push reset, so you have to consider what’s LIKELY to happen at the public and what’s LIKELY to happen at the new private. By this January, 3 of the 6 semesters college look at are on the books. At least that’s how I approach this.</p>
<p>@twogirls
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<p>Certainly possible. Would you bet on it? I truly wish I could, but don’t think I would.</p>
<p>Unless there is a safety issue involved, it may not be urgent and your sister and husband seem to see no urgency If your niece has been a certain way for years, I’m not sure moving her to a private next year is going to force some big turnaround. I’d try to accept her for who she is, let her know you have faith in her and encourage her to do her best. The motivation really will have to come from within in the long run. </p>
<p>We’re moving our DD in August to a new school where her GPA will likely be lower than it was at her previous (undemanding) schools from freshman and sophomore year. I really don’t care about the hit. The value is the hoped-for enriched educational experience and more ambitious, engaged, talented peers. It’s a gamble and an expensive one. If it kills her chances at some of her colleges, so be it. Not the end of the world. </p>
<p>If the parents don’t have significant funds for college, a GPA dip could be financially significant depending on how in-state schools without holistic reviews calculate merit aid unless Aunt Julie is helping down the road as well.</p>
<p>OldFort says in Post #233:
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<p>I think we should consider what @oldfort has said above, among the many wise things she has said.</p>
<p>I’m simply astonished at some of the tone of this thread. I really think that several posts over the course of the 17 pages have speculated much about of the situation without all of the information, and several sound quite negative. I didn’t think this was the spirit of College Confidential.</p>
<p>As OldFort wisely pointed out, we haven’t been asked “for our advice about her relationship with her sister and niece.” We cannot know the whole back story, nor the status of the conversation between everyone in the family. </p>
<p>For all we know, and we can’t really know, that since the original post was on this past Saturday, maybe Aunt Julia has been in conversation with all three over the past few days discussing all the CCer’s wise advice posted. But we can’t possibly know, and I really don’t expect OP to answer that or provide all the information. No need to. Nor do we need to understand OPs education or background. She asked a simple question about college admissions.</p>
<p>It seems from OP’s agreeing with @Torveaux 's posts and other posts, that perhaps the sister, BIL and niece have all been involved in the conversation, as Old Fort said. But we cannot know for sure, nor do we need to know for sure.</p>
<p>Please reread the title and original post #1. The Aunt would like to provide tuition funding to let the niece move to a private school where, as @dyiu13 says
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<p>From what I read, her question was how would going to the private school affect the prospects for college admissions, if there would be a potential impact on the GPA, or any other consideration for the future college process 2 to 3 years from now…</p>
<p>I don’t think there is any more to it than that on the aunt’s part. And if the S, BIL and N are all on-board, then it seems that the generous gift from Aunt Julia would be appreciated.</p>
<p>As for the urgency, I think the point is that moving at the beginning of 10th grade would provide a long enough time span to both benefit from the positive environment, as well as moderate any potential dip in GPA. I think the urgency that AJ is speaking of, is getting both enrolled in the new school and getting ready for the transition to school only a few weeks from now.</p>
<p>As @dyiu13 is saying her family is doing for their DD, they are making a transition in Junior year to provide similar benefit. I also wish @dyiu13 's D the best of luck with her transition.</p>
<p>Well, I do know more than her/them in this regard</p>
<p>That’s where this becomes more than an aunt stepping on and offering to pay.<br>
Why do you think this? And it;s fr form the first comment of this sort. So what about your job; many of us here are analytical, too. And with our own analytical skills, we are questioning you. Are you rescuing a child from unfit parents? </p>
<p>I still want to know what proofs you have that this is the parents’, school’s, and peers’ fault. You hint she needs some hand holding, aka “personal attention.” But you said she has a “lofty gpa.” Is that not so?</p>
<p>It’s confusing. She hasn’t maxxed out on rigorous classes, she isn’t flunking out. You haven’t pointed to a roadblock such as bullying or a refusal by the administration to let her increase her challenges. You haven’t pointed to testing/assessment that shows she is performing bellow her potential. You haven’t quoted a conversation with her school.</p>
<p>if you are so all-fired sure, why not fill in the blanks for us? </p>
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Ok, well the answer to that is easy. No one can predict, but there’s a good chance that the grades will tank, leading to the niece feeling discouraged and depressed, and that college prospects will be diminished. </p>