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She is also the ONLY one in a position to succeed!</p>
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How does a top 20% kid only have community college as an option?</p>
<p>@my-3-sons
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<p>I acknowledge this is possible and jumping into 10th grade honors english and history would be relatively easy. I’m just not so sure I would bet on different outcomes at the public because; a.) the teachers in the “regular” sections they teach have shown me they do not care about a student developing discipline or study skills, b.) she does not currently possess those skills, c.) we would still be dealing with the noise of the unsavory group of friends. If a significant GPA drop occurs when she’s in the new honors courses, how do you explain that to admissions? You can’t. It exposes her and we’re right back where we started, except another squandered semester is on the books (3 of 6 admissions will see). Not to mention knocking on the door of 16 y.o., where you can pretty much kiss goodbye any chance of influencing the child. But if a GPA drop occurs at the private, at least you can explain it was a new setting, you assume and hope the faculty there will react instead of letting her loaf it with C’s, etc.</p>
<p>I am also curious as to why the niece does not increase the rigor at her current school. That, combined with a leadership position on student council, will change her environment within the school. It appears as though AuntJulia sees this as a risk that she is not willing to take. AJ needs to understand that moving to a new school is also risky and a new school will not become the surrogate parents. The parents still need to step up and the niece still needs to be internally driven and motivated. A new school may or may not help. I think AJ realizes this. </p>
<p>A few girls here have switched to the local Catholic school before their sophomore or junior year. The moms all told me that it was not due to academics, but due to social issues. Those social issues were not drug or alcohol related ( although you never really know), but rather it was the " girl drama" that made them switch. The girls were tired of being left out of social invites by kids who were supposed to be their friends. These families were under the impression that moving to the Catholic school would provide a different social experience free from this type of " girl drama.". So far I believe the families are happy. My experience in our public HS is that kids in top classes who are super involved in school related and outside activities don’t have this type of social issue. They remove themselves from it and have zero interest in being invited to parties etc. That’s just my experience. Another poster pointed out that her cousins (?) go to typical colleges and are studying accounting and education, and she posted that these girls text and watch Pretty Little Liars. Is that bad? No- not at all. These kids will be happy and productive adults. Does AJ think it’s bad? I do not know. Are there kids like that in Catholic school? Of course!! These are typical teenage girls. Is AJ trying to turn her niece into somebody she is not? I have no idea because I don’t know any of these people. </p>
<p>I apologize as I feel as though I keep repeating myself. I think our frustration lies in having some information, but not all of the information. </p>
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<p>On current path, she will not stay in top 20% when core becomes more challenging and will be severely exposed on ACT/SAT. I am 100% certain.</p>
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<p>Correct. I have trouble betting on a different outcome at current school when I haven’t detected any change year over year. But yes, the options are:</p>
<ol>
<li><p>Stay at public. Add an honors course or two to schedule. Hope two honors courses, student council and NHS encourage her to distance herself from friends of 3 years and do a 180 both in the classroom and in character development.</p></li>
<li><p>Transfer to private. Hope the 180 occurs free of the noise from underachieving friends, in an ethos of concentrated ambition, stronger level of personal care from faculty, and perhaps meeting friends with really involved and bright parents who sort of take her under their wing.</p></li>
</ol>
<p><em>Grabs a bag of popcorn and silently watches the story unfold</em></p>
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Many eons ago I told the headmistress at the high school that my parents had chosen for me that I was not on board with the idea of attending her school because I wanted to graduate from my junior high which had a 9th grade. (I was not necessarily averse to attending her school in 10th grade.) At any rate, she laughed and told my parents that I seemed like a bloom where planted sort, and she was sure I’d adjust just fine. Which I did, in fact that 9th grade at that particular high school was transformative - I’m so glad I didn’t miss it.</p>
<p>@oldfort once again shows her terrific wisdom and eloquence. Awesome post!</p>
<p>Why can’t it be treated as a privilege and a wonderful event? A special opportunity?</p>
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<p>From Aunt Julia:
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<p>The niece indicated she is positive about the move.</p>
<p>Also from OldFort:
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<p>Many of us on this CC board have had kids get into the “dream” school, only to have the merit school be much more affordable. What really helped at this critical moment in our kids’ lives? Getting excited about the merit school. While this isn’t the exact same situation as AJ and the niece, the idea of getting excited about the new school is the same.</p>
<p>I’m sure that if it is like any other Catholic school, there is a school shop with nice spirit wear. What about taking the niece to the school store and letting her pick out some cool tee’s that say the school name on them and a nifty sweatshirt or jacket? How about something that she can wear right now over the summer? New cool spirit wear gets them happy about their new school. Isn’t that what happened for our kids after they all decided on their college? Didn’t they wear that new sweatshirt or school logo tee a lot in the April-May timeframe?</p>
<p>What else did we do with our soon-to-be college freshman? We went shopping for dorm stuff and school stuff.
Can the Mom find out from the admissions office if there is something that everyone uses at the school? They will be wearing uniforms, so maybe it is a particular backpack, or nice eco-friendly cloth lunch bag, or a lanyard for their id card. Maybe Aunt Julia, Mom and niece can go shopping for something like this.</p>
<p>Why not make this a happy, fun, exciting time for the niece?</p>
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So you’re saying that the other kids who have had the same educational background will pass her by? Why woud she not be able to keep up?</p>
<p>Three terrific stories about transferring schools and awesome posts to read! I’m certainly enjoying everyone’s posts here.</p>
<p>@OldFort’s D,
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<p>@EmilyBee’s S,
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<p>@MathMom herself,
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<p>Thank you everyone! I have been learning a lot from EVERYONE’s, (all the hundreds of you CC’ers, not just these 3 persons) stories and all the various viewpoints. </p>
<p>You are ALL so filled with wisdom! I’m glad there’s CC so we can all benefit from ALL your great ideas!!</p>
<p>I think this thread has become a sort of Rorschach test.:)</p>
<p>I was thinking about it and realized that I experienced this in reverse. I went to a small English boarding school in 8th and 9th grades. In 10th, we returned, and despite having always been in the top track in the same town and top of my class in England, the vice principal who placed me in classes said that the honors classes were all “full.” I don’t recall my mother, who attended this meeting, doing anything to argue with him. After the first quarter, room magically appeared (hah) in the honors English class and I was moved. But I remained in the excruciatingly boring regular math class–albeit, a year accelerated–with a teacher who had had my older sister and hated her, and when I asked how formulas were derived responded was “you don’t need to know that.” So after taking pre-calc junior year, I quit. (My teacher that year yelled at me when she saw my SATs. I found her class so boring that I would look at the clock and hold my breath for a minute at a time to help the time pass.) Looking back, I think that this had a lot to do with solidifying my status as my class’s most infamous under-achiever.</p>
<p>Anyway, I think we’ve fully explored the possible outcomes of both choices. Since none of us has a crystal ball, we cannot know what will happen. It is an open question as to whether she would be able to sign up for honors classes at the HS. A friend of mine has a not-too-bright kid who was getting an A in CP English, and wanted to move up to honors. His teacher refused to recommend it…and she was correct. He would have been way above his head with that student population. One thing I am sure of is that if the girl experiences a drop in grades in honors classes at the same school, it won’t look good. If she initially experiences the same thing at a new school, she has cover. </p>
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<p>It’s a little easier to loaf your way through grade 9 courses than it is to loaf your way through grade 11. Judging by the size of the honors lists in each grade, most students hit their GPA peak in grade 9, as the work is fairly easy. She had a cake grade 9 schedule, shielded from honors, and I detect <em>zero</em> maturation over the last 12 months (e.g., same last minute everything, sloppy rushed work, missing homework, bombing final exams, defiant “no it all” arrogance… which is then rewarded with relatively high marks!). I feel like you can only watch someone do the same thing for so long before you stop expecting this drastic 180 to occur from thin air. It is my belief that a new environment could (no guarantee) be the disruption needed to get her to WAKE UP!</p>
<p>I’m with annie and will just grab some popcorn. smh</p>
<p>@busyperson </p>
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<p>To be clear, I half-heartedly brought up the move because I knew there would likely be immediate pushback if I or her parents declared YOU’RE GOING TO A PRIVATE SCHOOL. I was looking for negative reaction and I really didn’t receive that. That was receptive, in my eyes. I think moving forward, the student does not have to be a part of a debate on where she attends this fall. I think “opening up the floor” makes this move seem like punishment and allows a savvy and charismatic (and immature) girl to weasel and or pout her way back into her comfort zone at the public.</p>
<p>Does niece want the IU business school or NYU Stern? Or does AuntJulia? Not sure of the price for IU in-state or out-of-state, but NYU is pricey…is AuntJulia going to be the one to pay for that (and the expensive NYC lifestyle niece might want, too)? I’m not sure why aunt is so invested in niece’s life, especially when the girl’s parents aren’t concerned. I’m assuming aunt will be forcing the girl to take the SAT/ACT this coming school year. And then paying for expensive private tutoring…where is it going to end? </p>
<p>(And why would Catholic school friends’ parents take this girl “under their wing”? She has parents, after all. What do you expect these other parents to do?)</p>
<p>First, I believe that it is way too late to change schools. Some adjustment period will require and it is adding another layer of concerns to the lists of many in this period of HS’er life.
Another point is that if one is afraid that GPA may take a dive, than the whole idea of college needs to be revisited / re-assessed. Every single freshman entering ANY college after graduation from ANY HS in the USA is required to adjust her working habits considerably upwards. If this is not recognized, then there is a good chance that student’s hopes and goals for accomplishments during college will be derailed. After stating that, adjustments from one HS to another are not as great in comparison to what kid will do in the first few weeks at college where the gap between HS academics in the USA and college level of academics in the USA is great. I would say that to see how kid is adjusting to another HS would be somewhat a test in general ability to adjust to new requirements.
So, while there are pros and cons in changing HS at this point, I would not put my own kid thru this despite of acknowledging the fact that different HSs teach at different levels. D. has mentioned that she saw a big difference in her preparation after private HS and other kids preparation who had the same ranking / stand in their respective HS classes. She was part of Honors college that accepted 200 top applicants. because of such a low number, most of them were in fact valedictorians. But no matter what HS one went, D. (graduted #1 in her private HS class) mentioned that she needed a huge adjustment up in her working habits at the beginning of college. Those who did not recognize that, got derailed despite of their high rank in HS.<br>
What I am trying to say at the end is that a college student’s attitude will make much much more difference in college than the HS she graduated from. </p>
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<p>I believe you just answered your own question.</p>
<h1>291 The best thing that happened to my kid academically was getting kicked out of her first day of her first AP class on the first day of 10th grade because she had not finished the required summer course work. That’s was a wake up call.</h1>
<p>Had the same issue of slackness with homework etc; starting 10th grade she turned into a consistent hard worker.</p>
<p>@scholarme This whole “kicking out” or “forcing them to stay after school [for missing homework]” is fantastic. I wish her public had employed some of those tactics this last year. She’d be a different girl right now. But they do not, she was allowed to coast and did not develop the character needed to over achieve or come close to reaching her capacities. Perhaps the parents could email her teachers this fall and ask for treatment like this to be employed at the public. But in my view, I could see that email being printed off and passed around the lounge by the union teachers, e.g., “Who do they think THEY are?” or “What are we, HER PARENTS?” <em>room of teachers laughing</em></p>
<p>But does every parent have to have a certain level of concern, Julia? It might not meet your (non-parent, after all) level of concern, but why do you get to dictate what this girl should or shouldn’t do? Are you especially close to this girl? Why all the interest? And if you’re going to spend not only the Catholic school tuition but also fund a pricey school like NYU, it seems very odd to me. There are so many more things that <em>I</em> would do if I had an extra 250 - 300K to throw around; things that would positively affect many more lives than just one.</p>