<p>Sorry to say but if the sense of urgency is not there for your sister or her husband, you just may need to back off. The reality is that your niece is their child and they have the right to make the decisions regarding her schooling. You can still be supportive of your niece, regardless of what school she is in.</p>
<p>@Midwestmomofboys she’s entering the 10th. 6 semesters of high school left.</p>
<p>I agree @sevmom and I am saying that as a Christian if you must know and a parent who is considering private school for her own child. It seems like you are overstepping your boundaries. If the niece parents don’t want, or don’t care about something, no offense, but ** it is not any of your business.** I would be furious if my sister came to me telling me how I should raise my daughter and telling me that my daughter isn’t as smart as she seems.</p>
<p>@Midwestmomofboys is 100000% on the money.</p>
<p>Aunt Julia, in principle, I think your idea is incredibly generous, and in certain cases it does make a lot of sense to switch to a more rigorous school.</p>
<p>The question I still have is whether or not there is necessarily anything really wrong with your niece’s current path. I’m all about the life of the mind, and think that even people who are less academically inclined can benefit from being exposed to books and ideas. I don’t, however, think that it is necessary for people without much interest in it to pursue the most difficult curriculum possible. If your niece were maxing out on the opportunities at her own school and looking for something more, that would be one thing. But it seems to me that she is already in an environment where some people are shooting for more of a challenge - and probably more competitive colleges – and she has opted out.</p>
<p>I guess that in this case, unless there’s something more you’re not telling us, it doesn’t seem like the status quo is that awful or the alternative that fantastic. If your niece continues on the path she’s going on, she’s clearly going to wind up in a four year college. Maybe it will only be a non-flagship state school, but it will still be a place where she can continue to grow intellectually and prepare herself for any number of careers. Now, I suppose there’s a slight chance that the Catholic school will truly be a miraculous place where in the presence of more ambitious students and a more involved faculty, your niece will be fired up with a passion for learning and a drive to succeed, totally transform herself, and wind up on a totally different path. Far more likely, however, is that even if the school is better, the gains will be far more modest, and at the end of the day, if we’re NOT dealing with a terribly academically inclined kid, is it a matter of paramount importance that she goes to the state flagship rather than a satellite campus?</p>
<p>That leaves us with the question of peer group, and again, you haven’t said anything to let us know whether or not the peer group is truly problematic or not. Are these kids with drug problems and arrest records, or are they just kids who spend more time texting and gossiping about boys than joining clubs and studying for tests? If it is the former, the intervention seems warranted; if it is the latter, maybe that is just who your niece is, and there’s nothing so wrong with that.</p>
<p>Unless you have unlimited money, I also wonder if you wouldn’t be better off saving your money for college. </p>
<p>@apprenticeprof The peer group contains some that are into drinking and a few are into narcotics. The peer group also pokes fun at things she used to enjoy, e.g. soccer. I don’t believe she is the “Queen Bee”, I think she’s a bit of a follower and kind of fell in with this group when she came there in middle school. They also poked fun at her running for student council – which she won. I can see from the school data she gave me that some of her peer group have high marks, so their outside activities may not have caught up to them, yet. But I believe most students have their highest marks of high school freshman year. I mean there are literally 100+ Class of 2017 students with 3.8 or higher GPAs. I think there are many fantastic, social and still “cool” students at her school, but she has not surrounded herself with them.</p>
<p>With regard to her current curriculum, she’s just in the middle of the pack. I think it’s a fallacy to assume she stays there. Everything I’ve seen suggests her GPA will outright crash or continue to fall throughout high school. Her level of effort and habits would be far more in line with a sub 3.0 student. I don’t think she should start in honors courses at the private, I merely think the new ethos, standards and level of care might possibly inspire change from within.</p>
<p>Good news is it looks like your niece follows her on mind and heart. i.e.; running for student council even when her peers make fun of her. Seems like she isn’t easily swayed. </p>
<p>@bisouu I bribed her.</p>
<p>To the OP, if she is entering 10th, then she has some wiggle room in terms of time. Putting aside all the factors folks have identified (including my own question as to placement in Honors/AP if she weren’t already in those courses now) – the unknown remains what happens after a transfer. Her grades will presumably drop – but will they recover, and when? If they rebound and she does well in 11th and fall of 12th, then she will probably be okay. If they drop and don’t fully recover, then her academic record is less strong in terms of college applications. As a parent who has been on lots of college tours and visits, admissions reps are asked all the time, which is better, higher grades in less demanding courses or lower grades in most demanding courses. And they all say, high grades in the hardest courses but, if you don’t have that, then they look at your school profile, weigh each application etc.</p>
<p>What type of colleges is she likely to consider? If finances are a concern (as they are for most folks), is she likely to look at your state flagship? Many publics have automatic scholarship based on gpa, for instate students. A much higher gpa from regular classes could mean more scholarship money than a lower gpa. Doesn’t seem fair, but that it is often the way it works. Sure wouldn’t want to lose scholarship money because she transferred and had a lower gpa than if she had stayed in her current school. </p>
<p>Does the Catholic school use weighted or unweighted grading scale? How constricted is their grading scale? At my son’s school, an 86 was a B-. And, even though he was in the highest level of classes in a weighted grading scale, religion, fine arts and foreign language did not have a bump on the weighted grading scale so As in those classes did not help as much as As in other classes. Some colleges will take the weighted gpa in determining eligibility for scholarships, others will recalculate to an unweighted scale and compare course rigor. </p>
<p>So, strategically, the question seems to be, what are the goals – because the path can change, depending on the goal. Is it helping a kid develop the best study skills and academic preparation for college? That leads to one possible path. Is it maximize her record so she can get the most scholarship money for college? That is another. Or admission into the best schools she is capable of getting admitted to? Or is it getting her away from a set of kids. </p>
<p>If you are serious about pursuing the Catholic school, I would scour its website for info on the grading scale, placement requirements for their own courses, and college acceptance/guidance. Download the parents’ handbook and read it – it should explain the grading scale, course expectations etc. Keep in mind, the website is also a marketing piece, so drill down and look for the data. Good luck. </p>
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<p>Perhaps the place to start is encouraging your sister and niece to inquire about moving her into honors courses at the current school. By the time students reach high school, they should be part of the process and have an internal desire to take on more challenges if appropriate. The school may not be pushing your niece into honors because they may feel she is at the level commensurate to her efforts and ability. What kind of feedback have the parents received on report cards and at conferences? What have her standardized test scores reported? </p>
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The point is that you are not bound to get a school that tries to do this for it’s students. No offense, but you don’t seem very well versed on her school. Seeing that you feel the need to be so involved in her life, have you spoke to administrators? Guidance counselors? Teachers? Or is this all just all from your niece And even still, if being around “new standards” may not help your niece at all. If she’s in the middle of the pack at a public, she will likely fall to the back of the pack at a private if she does not want it. You should have your parents or your niece schedule a meeting with her counselor to put her on the honors track. If she struggles there, you know that a competitive private schools may not be for her. It’s more likely that your efforts will stunt her growth more than help it. A difference of opinion is not combative. It’s good to know all aspects of something before intervening with personal family matters and someone education.</p>
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<p>Hate to break it to you, but there are tons of students like that at Catholic schools too. If that’s the group your niece likes, she will find that even if she was sent to a convent. And also, if her friends are doing it, it’s likely that she is doing it too. It’s not like she would tell you anyway. So you could be potentially putting her in situations where she can bring her lifestyle to other students. Also, with social media, changing schools will hardly stop her from hanging with them f they are her friends. They can still chat just as much online unless you plan on going to her house and monitoring her internet use as well. Lastly, her friends making fun of things that she likes is hardly a reason to switch schools. That’s so futile. If they make fun of things she enjoys and she chooses to hang with them still, that’s on her. Obviously she doesn’t have such a problem with it if she congregates with them. It seems like you are really just grasping at straws to justify the move now. If you feel that you really must, encourage her parents to learn more about the curriculum and about how the teachers teach. AP/honors students tend to receive more support in general than the students who take regular classes. Again, these are all things your niece can solve herself. It’s a win win situation. You save $50,000, she improves as a student.</p>
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<p>I hope you’re kidding.</p>
<p>@AnnieBeats Why would I kid? I knew she would win, so I bribed her to run.</p>
<p>I want to ask if this fear and assessment is based on 2nd hand info. You don’t live there, you picked this up at a family reunion? Or did you actually research her current school, visit, speak with people (perhaps her GC for some frank talk,) and etc? [x-post.]</p>
<p>*I have to consider what could and probably will happen at the public this year and moving forward. And I have to consider what some disruption (the private) might stoke. * </p>
<p>It’s at this point my antennae went seriously up. I am sorry, but no, an aunt does not. </p>
<p>As far as we know, she’s not under your protection, there is no action pending against the parents, you don’t even have some reason to know it’s the school or peers who are holding her back. Maybe she has yet to find her drive. Or mature a bit. If you have kids, you should now they can’t always be molded ahead of when they themselves see the light.</p>
<p>I am sorry, but if this were a parent OP, if the subject were polishing up the kid for an Ivy, projecting and predicting what would make it all better, we’d tell the parent to take a deep breath, maybe even stand back. </p>
<p>It’s also somewhat alarming you not only bribed her, but admit it so blithely here.</p>
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<p>Okay, right there you lost all of my sympathy.</p>
<p>If you bribed her to run for student council, why don’t you bribe her to register for honors courses and then bribe her for As? Apparently you have found the motivation that works for her.</p>
<p>Did OP ever answer Jonri’s question: Does Aunt Julia have children of her own? If so, how old are they? </p>
<p>There is a point at which, plain and simple, concern becomes intrusive. Respectfully, I’m not sure this is her business. Her own words take me there.</p>
<p>It’s beginning to sound more and more like she just isn’t the kid you want her to be, despite apparently being happy, popular, and an above average student. Bribing her to run for student council is a bit over the top. </p>
<p>I understand your frustration. I think the best you can do at this point is to make sure she understands what is required to get in to the schools she thinks she is interested in. If she isn’t willing to work for it, I think from the college perspective, you would be wasting your money on the Catholic school. Perhaps it would help her to break from her current friend group, but that is only going to happen if she is ready to leave them anyhow. And if that’s the case, enrolling in honors classes and becoming super-active in school or other activities could have the same effect. Kids tend to be friends with the kids in the same activities they both like and are spending a lot of time together doing. If she has more homework and little time to hang out with kids who have nothing to do but take drugs, then she just won’t be part of that anymore. If that is her wish.</p>
<p>@lookingforward Are you trying to shame me? I could have been vague and used a CC friendly term, e.g. “carrot”. I’m being transparent and appreciate everyone’s contributions. Both sides are providing good points.</p>
<p>@mathyone It’s squandering potential. And why is providing incentive to do something a student may be scared to do harmful? She ran, won and is happy with the outcome. I didn’t buy her a new BMW or anything dramatic. It was a little something to encourage her to get out of her middle of the pack comfort zone is all. Where’s the harm?</p>
<p>Fwiw, I vote for transferring schools being possibly a good idea. I think talking to the new school’s admin / GC about your concerns about the GPA & adjustment & if she would be able to take honors classes etc would help you decide if you want to make this (very generous) offer.
Also look into whether the private school does in fact have a better academic culture.
When parents are not that involved in the kids academics, sometimes just being in a school with more esprit de corps can be a huge difference.</p>
<p>Were her parents ok with that? I personally don’t bribe my kids, and I’d be rather unhappy if a relative stepped in to do so.</p>