<p>My mother will turn 80 soon. My sib and I have been pulling out our hair trying to figure out how to celebrate this milestone. She likes to travel and likes vacations. She is very healthy for her age, but does have some trouble walking long distances due to a chronic orthopedic condition. </p>
<p>My brother thought of surprising her with tickets for her to travel in Europe. Frankly, I cannot afford this, nor do I know who she would take with her.</p>
<p>We know that buying something (ie: flat screen TV) will not please her enough. She is expecting something more. We thought about a party, but my mother has too many friends. Also, she would expect something in a restaurant rather than in my home. This would end up snowballing into something that I could not afford (I see mini wedding costs).</p>
<p>I thought I had the perfect solution which was a resort that we went to as kids. I thought a weekend with family would be doable. Unfortunately, the resort is still in business, but it apparently has not been kept up, so it is run down. I am still open to the resort idea, but it would need to offer activities for seniors who do NOT play golf, ice skate, hike, bicycle, or love sitting at the pool. Think bingo, nightclub, shows, and other coach potato activities with good food. We’d want to do this next summer. Also, the place cannot be for adults only, as there would be one toddler coming along.</p>
<p>Great idea, unfortunately not for our family though:(. My mother refuses to take a cruise. Additionally she does not like sitting at pools or beaches. She would love the food and the nightlife that a cruise would offer. Too bad that she won’t go. I have never taken a cruise, and if my mother were willing, I would try one. I would not be able to convince her, so I won’t even try. Great suggestion though!</p>
<p>There are resorts with some, but not all, you are loking for. The Broadmoor in Colorado Springs and Bishops Lodge in Santa Fe come to mind. Would the spa aspect appeal to her? </p>
<p>Santa Fe would offer a lot of diverse activities in town (art, music, restaurants etc.) There is bingo in the nearby casinos in Santa Fe. I wonder if some of the group would like 10,000 Waves (look it up online)?</p>
<p>It’s a real shame that your mother refuses to consider a cruise because it really would fulfill all her requirements. Maybe she doesn’t know what cruising is like these days? If she just doesn’t want to be on any ship, it’s out. But if she’s still thinking all cruises are on the Caribbean and nothing to do but eat and lounge by the pool…there’s a huge difference between 30 years ago and today. Get RCI to send her an anonymous brochure! (So she doesn’t yell at you.) Also, if you’re looking for something in the fall, maybe she would be willing to at least look at the New England/Canada color cruises? They leave out of Boston and New Jersey so you could probably drive to the port at least.</p>
<p>My mom’s in her early 80’s and has been cruising by herself for over 10 years since my dad passed away. She always complains and always keeps going; she has an artificial hip now too. For her 80th, we two kids and spouses and three grandchildren took her out to dinner and she was thrilled. Good Grandma!</p>
<p>Does she like to learn? Perhaps a week with an Elderhostel in a remote, attractive state with the rest of your family staying nearby in a hotel. Everyone could do as they wish all day, then gather for a good meal together. Elderhostel always considers physical needs of their participants, and creates many kinds of courses around the U.S. As I recall a few courses are set up for grandparent/grandchild combinations, although mostly it’s for seniors only.</p>
<p>They have a catalogue. To keep it reasonable, if she loved the idea all alone, the family might send her alone to the Elderhostel week, following a modest party of some sort at home. All the gifts could relate to the theme of her course or location.</p>
<p>I think you have to watch out for accommodations; will she rough it in college dorms or is it set up for lodging in a motel/hotel? It’s in the catalogues, as I recall.</p>
<p>Is there somewhere she has been before that she loved and had a great time? Go back there! Sometimes I think we (I know I do) beat ourselves up trying to think of the perfect “new” idea when maybe the perfect idea is an idea that was already successful!</p>
<p>^LOL, ask my 82-y.o. mom! As a widow, she loved seeing Niagara Falls last year with me, 60 years after she first visited on her “honeymoon.” I put scare quotes around “honeymoon” because they could only afford an out-of-town trip 3 years after their wedding. By then, they had an infant and toddler in tow, screaming that they were scared of the falling water. </p>
<p>Sometimes a revisit is just the right trip.</p>
<p>Keep the ideas flowing, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, lol!</p>
<p>She loves to learn and she is sharp as a tack, paying3tuitions. She was a college professor. She enjoys games that she says keep her mind active like Bridge. She also loves attending lectures about art, finances and so on. For her BD, though, we’d like to include family if possible.</p>
<p>We really don’t want to start paying for airfare if possible, so it would be best to be within 8 hours of NJ.</p>
<p>SLUMOM, no that is not the run down hotel ;). I have always wanted to walk through the gardens there. I did not click your link but I have been told the hotel is itself is pricey. I was told that you could enjoy a lunch and the gardens, which is the way to go, but not for this birthday celebration.</p>
<p>I could rethink the cruising, but I’d rather stay away, bc if anyone gets sick on the cruise, I will hear the “I told you so”, and will be blamed for her not enjoying her BD for years to come!</p>
<p>paying3, my mother just went to Niagra Falls with a group of seniors. She was worried about walking, but not all seniors could walk around, so whatever they did, it was geared so all would be able to participate. She was fine and had a good time.</p>
<p>nemom: there are reasonable summer cruises to Nova Scotia out of Bayonne/NYC during the summer: there are those that are sponsored with educational components as well, but I’m not sure how to find out about those (other than through organizations that one would be involved in)…</p>
<p>Thanks for the cruise ideas. I also need other ideas though, bc I doubt that she will be willing to take a chance on a cruise. We need some type of resort that offers some activities for the less active person, but within 7-8 hours of NJ.</p>
<p>Approximately 5 hours from Philadelphia so you should be within 8 hours. Gettysburg, Frank Lloyd Wright’s Falling Waters and Kentuck Nob on the way. Lots of American history sites along the way.</p>
<p>We stayed maybe two nights back in August 2001. The accommodations were lux and the food was great.</p>
<p>We were out and about during the day and didn’t really do any resort activities. We went to Longwood Gardens, Gettysburg, Falling Waters and Kentuck Nob on the trip. Your mom might find some of that interesting.</p>
<p>Perhaps someone on CC has had a more recent experience.</p>
<p>Is food extra, or is this a part of the package? </p>
<p>We would do the tours, but it is a problem because it hurts her to walk for long periods of time. Also, there is a toddler involved, so the toddler’s parents are stressed about that. I think they’d prefer place where their child is free to run around a bit and they won’t need to pack up the house to go on tours with their baby.</p>
<p>I would think she would enjoy a party more than anything. At that age, they don’t get to see their old friends much, and each time may be the last. If she has “too many friends” to fit in your house, what about splitting it into two parties? One for family and neighbors and one for the other friends? These don’t have to be monumental undertakings. By keeping the grandkids at one party and the elders at another, it’s much easier to plan for music, food, activities, etc. It’s best to have the friends her age over for lunch rather than dinner, since many do not go out after dark. They don’t eat or drink that much, either. Presents can be as simple as a written page for a memory book.</p>
<p>midwesterner, thanks. We really were thinking that we’d do a family dinner in a restaurant. She loves wonderful ambience. If I were to hold something in my home, it really would not elevate her mood. If I start anything with friends, it will get out of hand very quickly!</p>