<p>I would have done more weekend adventure things when they were little…</p>
<p>And taught them more things to cook…</p>
<p>I would have emphasized cooking and cleaning more–for the kids, that is, not me…</p>
<p>I would have done more family volunteer work, so that helping others would have just been a natural part of life to them.</p>
<p>I would never have gotten remarried and I never would have allowed a computer or televisions in the house.</p>
<p>What’s wrong with computers amith? Early exposure to technology is critically important in this generation. I would say one of the most valuable things my parents did for me was to always have an up-to-date computer around; and when I was a teenager, to buy me my own computer. </p>
<p>Even television has helped me in many ways: as a young kid I would watch “Wild Discovery” on the discovery channel, and learn about animals, the environment, and other parts of the world in great depth. The History Channel has taught me more about history than I could every learn in school.</p>
<p>The problem with technology is that many kids never experience the great parts of it, and only use it for games (to be honest, I’ve actually spent a fair amount of time playing games as well, but from these I’ve learned many valuable life lessons about leadership, communication, and teamwork). </p>
<p>The only thing parents need to do is encourage their children to learn new things, and with the help of the internet, kids can begin their research without even leaving the house. I recall as a child that I was very curious about trains, and methods of transportation; but all we had to read in the house was the encyclopedia, which is very limited in depth. The only way to learn more was to visit the library which required a parent to drive me, which also couldn’t be done whenever I wished to get more books. The internet is a very powerful tool if used correctly, it solves all of these problems, and is a great supplement to reading books (which I believe cannot be replaced totally by the internet).</p>
<p>amith, I would have let the TV and computer stay, but would have kept video games out of the house longer. I fought it as long as I could, but couldn’t fight Dh and the kids forever.</p>
<p>I would have spent more time showing my son how to cook, clean etc.</p>
<p>I would have taught my kids to play the piano.</p>
<p>Tookie, you play piano yourself? I taught my 3 kids piano myself, but we always needed to take long breaks from each other!!</p>
<p>My 3 can cook and clean more than I ever did at their ages. But I agree with CGM…wish we had done more fun and adventure/exploration type activities.</p>
<p>I would have forced opportunities for international travel, exploration of other cultures, and introduced foreign languages earlier. Also, I would have added more emphasis on art, culture, music, etc.</p>
<p>I still remember trying to teach my first D to walk. I would stand her up against the side of a chair and encourage her to try to take a step. I repeated that exercise numerous times, but she had no interest. I thought maybe she just did not have the strength to walk. On her first birthday, she rolled a ball across the kitchen floor and crawled to get it. She did this several times and then stood up and ran to get it. She was a bit wobbly and fell numerous times, but she never crawled again. I guess I learned kids do what they want to do when they are ready. We look out for them, give them some correction, but mostly I think we just provide the opportunities and they decide.</p>
<p>Would not have let myself be convinced to try the “let them cry themselves to sleep” for S. Although I had been nursing two kids and had bronchitis and was down to 108 lbs at 5’5" and was exhausted still I cannot forgive myself for those three nights. Going in and finding him asleep, sitting up against the crib (he was 11 months old), and sniffing in his sleep from crying. And when he got a cold next and woke up I said to hell with it and never let him cry again. To this day it brings tears to my eyes to think of his sweet chubby cheeks pressed against the crib bars and the sound of him sniff snif snif.</p>
<p>That and going back to work. Oh, wait, I had to go back to work.</p>
<p>Thanks for that post, edad. This thread puzzles me: my kids had terrific grades through high school, neither one has ever been in trouble with the law for anything more serious than a traffic ticket, neither has a serious problem with drnking or drugs, they both hold down paying jobs, they have many friends, they seem to be caring and committed, intelligent individuals… all qualities which I am sure are shared by the vast majority of the kids of CC posters. So I’m wondering, why the heck would I (or any of us) have done anything different? If our kids turn out o.k. and we get along with them, what’s to regret? </p>
<p>Anyway, I wouldn’t change at thing that I did, not because I never made any mistakes – I’m sure I probably did, I’m a terrible housekeeper and not much of a cook, for starters – but because I did the best I could and I managed to raise two young adults who I am very proud of, and I like them just the way they are. </p>
<p>Also, when my d’s boyfriend was over at our house the other day, I realized that I did one very unusual and unique thing right when I raised my son: I taught him to put the toilet seat down after he was done. That in itself ought to be enough to get me anointed in the motherhood hall of fame – some day I am sure that I will have a daughter-in-law who will thank me profusely. :p</p>
<p>Calmom, I am so glad you posted that, I am a terrible - just horrible - cook. It’s hopeless, and it’s a wonder I haven’t accidently poisoned us. D however has turned out to be an excellent cook (probably had to adapt in order to survive lol) - anyway, she makes a very wide range of excellent, healthy dishes. And she learned everything she knows on the food channel on television. So, I’m a no vote for taking the TVs out of the house.</p>
<p>Well, my kids didn’t turn into great cooks, but they did learn how to fend for themselves early on – I’d say that in my family, each kid knew how to microwave a simple meal before they were 3. (I confess: I used to buy those awful “Kids Cuisine” meals, with the chicken nuggets. Though my son was a fan of the 7-11 frozen burrito). My d. knew how to prepare scrambled eggs on her own, in a frying pan, at age 4. I would have been worried about safety with a kid so young, but I was more prone to leave a pot over a hot flame and forget about it than they were – so if anything, they had to worry about me. </p>
<p>So yeah, I did all sorts of things wrong and I ended up with happy, healthy kids. I suppose that I’d like to go back and change a lot of things about ME … but not for the sake of child rearing, which seems to be the one thing that even my ex-husband agrees that we managed to do right along the way, even if we only kind of stumbled onto it by accident. </p>
<p>I always treated my kids with love and respect, and personally I think those are the two essential ingredients. And whatever else I did or didn’t do, there is no way I could possibly have loved those two more. (Which again, I am sure is true for just about everyone else who posts here).</p>
<p>“Would not have let myself be convinced to try the “let them cry themselves to sleep” for S.”</p>
<p>Me, too! I let my younger S cry some nights because by the 4th child, I needed some sleep. However, my teenager daughter would sneak in and go rock him (I found out later).</p>
<p>Chocoholic, yes, I took piano as a child plus play by ear. We didn’t have a piano when the girls were little, so by the time we got one I thought it was too late for them to learn. However, my oldest daughter is giving her children lessons and they are doing great.</p>
<p>Cooking eggs at age 4 is quite an achievement. I don’t think either of my D’s could do that until they were about 12. I remember the younger D trying to make toast at about age 6. Crumbs fell on the heating element and started to smoke so she threw water into the toaster oven. I guest the 25% Italian genes are just too diluted to have much influence.</p>
<p>Yeah, the eggs weren’t my idea - I found her doing it the first time standing on a little foot stool in front of the stove. I told her to be sure and let me know if she wanted to cook again, so I could at least be there or in the adjoining room to supervise (we have an open kitchen layout). D. was a bit of a climber as well - she’s clamber right up onto the counter tops to get whatever she wanted – but I remember doing that myself as a tyke. Generally I tried to keep cereal & crackers & other munchies in the lower cabinets to avoid that sort of stuff. D. definitely had the do-it-herself drive very early. </p>
<p>The only cooking incidents/accidents I remember are when d. didn’t know that metal can’t go in the microwave (sparks flew!) , and once when she tried to bake the wrong kind of clay figures. (I think Sculpy is the bakable brand; whatever she stuck in the oven was the melt-and-permanentely-adhere-to-the-pan brand). Every other mishap was entirely my fault. </p>
<p>On the other hand, the kids never seemed to really get the “clean up after” part, though my son must have learned at some point, as the kitchen in his apartment seems clean whenever I visit.</p>
<p>I would never have bought my D a TV for her room. Instead of going to her room to read, she’ld watch TV.</p>
<p>I would have made my S and D both do more chores around the house routinely, including having them help “cook” dinner. I would also try and do a better job of teaching them about the value of money.</p>
<p>I would make S attend more of D’s performances and would make D attend more of S’s track/cross country meets, scout courts of honor.</p>
<p>Man, I could go on and on…but I’ll stop with those :)</p>
<p>curouser- I think the same things!!! Yeah…</p>
<p>I would also have taught them more self defence, (we did do tae kwan do) but more street stuff</p>
<p>I also am getting them in a class in gun safety, we don’t own a gun,never will, but some basics would be good to know</p>