<p>I might have tried to be a sports mom, since I have one sporty kid. However, I hate soccer moms and baseball dads screeching on the sidelines, I don’t like standing in the cold or pouring rain, driving to Timbuktu, endless practices, etc.</p>
<p>So, because I don’t like to watch or play team sports, I sort of blew it for one of my kids. I feel a little selfish about that. (DH isn’t any better…wouldn’t know the name of the teams in a playoff)</p>
<p>I don’t know that I would have done it differently, but I think about it from time to time.</p>
<p>I tried to set the example that it is better to do, than to watch. So I did have to put in my time driving to soccer and other sports activities. I think it was worth it, but the younger D did go to two baseball games last year. I guess if it is only once or twice a year, I did not fail.</p>
<p>We do individual sports (biking, running, swimming), but no team sports. I also think it is better to do than watch. </p>
<p>But music (lessons, rehearsals and performances) has taken up at least as much time as any sports stuff would have…just turns out I like the energy of music, so have never complained about the time or money spent pursuing or supporting my kids’ passion.</p>
<p>For me the best thing about all those long drives to ball games or horse shows was the one on one time in the car with your kid. We had many in depth conversations about “uncomfortable” subjects that if they could have escaped, the discussions may not have happened. That’s not to say the D. didn’t feign sleep once in a while though :).</p>
<p>^^The car is great for awkward conversations. I’ve instigated some of my most important uncomfortable conversations in the car with my mom. It’s not so much that they can’t escape as that you’re very alone and neither of you have anything better to do at the moment (ie not a bad moment to start the conversation).</p>
<p>Well, with my kids, it seemed like they were the ones who initiated those awkward conversations, at least when they were little, and I was the one who couldn’t escape. The “where babies come from, and how do the sperm and egg get together” conversation took place in the car–I was glad they were in the back seat, so they couldn’t see if my face was a little pink.</p>
<p>I can’t think of anything I would have wanted my parents to do differently, but I do like that the fact that they argued and once split up. It was horrible at the time, and still is horrible to think about, but it made me realize how incredibly hard marriage is and that at the end of the day, I need to be able to support myself/my children in the event that something happens. Marriage isn’t perfect and takes a lot more than love (FYI, my parents just celebrated their 21st anniversary, so things worked out.)</p>
<p>I have a friend whose parents never fought (or admitted to fighting), and I’m still unsure if that’s a bad thing, but at 20, she still has very romantic notions of marriage. As in, she still believes in a knight in shining armor that will come one day to take care of her.</p>
<p>How true–many times I do remember both young ones and the older starting with “Can I ask you something…?” You were never sure where it was going to go and you sure couldn’t escape! My #2 son and I were talking the other day about all those car talks on the way to soccer games. That’s when we discussed what to do about friends using drugs, sex, college goals, religion questions and you name it. Soccer may not have paid off in college money, but it sure paid off in our relationship.</p>
<p>This is a good thread. I think all of us parents, especially those of us facing the empty nest, look back sometimes and think “what if?” </p>
<p>I think I failed as a parent to realize how toxic and exploitive the popular culture of the 90’s and after was to kids (I think it’s cleaned up slightly now, for some reason). I wish I had done a better job of shielding my daughter from some of the most crass TV shows, movies and magazines. . . or else tried harder to insert my values in along with that stuff . . . I really think the culture has produced a very different generation of girls. </p>
<p>These thoughts partly due to a disturbing conversation I had when I chanced upon an old friend yesterday. Have to stop now but will continue later.</p>
<p>I have almost no complaints about my mom, but I wish she had sent me to the local French/English elementary school instead of the lame Catholic school with no language program. I could have been bilingual … tear.</p>
<p>I would never have allowed video games into the house. Only my youngest of 3 plays them…and probably too much. He is bright, but does not compare to older sibs in his worldview. I am thinking of banning them from use during the academic year.</p>
<p>Things my parents did right:
Encouraging a love of books: we used to go to the library every week, and my siblings and I would check out 18-20 books every time.
Forcing piano lessons on me and then forcing me to stick with them until I graduated–it was only in those last two years that I really learned to love it.
Encouraging me to play sports and get physically active.
Independence regarding my schoolwork–no nagging, pressuring me to do stuff–they trusted that I would get it done.
Letting us get addicted to video games (so long as we pay for them) and sick of them on our own–we go in spurts with those. We’re actually on a ping-pong binge at the moment.
Letting us manage our own time with digital entertainment.
Taking us to the Philippines every so often to visit our extended family and see where they came from.
Letting me spend my entire savings account at the time to see France and go to World Youth Day in Germany.
Trusting me.</p>
<p>Only two regrets:
That they stopped teaching me Tagalog when I was younger. They stopped because I would talk to the other kids on base (we were a military family way back when) in Filipino and confuse them.
That they didn’t teach me to cook much as much as they have my little sister–though I’m trying to change that now.</p>
<p>From kids to parents–you all do a great job.</p>
<p>I wish my parents had given me the birds and the bees talk, embarrassing as it might have been. I’ve NEVER had a sex talk and I’m 18, getting ready to leave for college.</p>