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<p>Good points. Well, you know, technology/academics are the reason why I’m generally optimistic about the future. Many people believe that their children will have worse lives than them, especially during periods of local economic decline. But technology/academics really will still continue to improve, and that gives me hope. It has always improved despite local economic decline. </p>
<p>And I so agree about life extension. It’s just so incredibly sad when people (or animals) die. There might be overpopulation problems (and problems associated when the world can’t tolerate more individuals). But I’m sure there will be creative solutions to this, sometime.</p>
<p>And I love those fields too. Well, academics isn’t a black hole when you’re studying something interesting (rather than learning more and more of the toolkits that you might supposedly need at some time). Planetary science has always been quite interesting to me, and I never find myself frustrated over arcane mathematical details when I read planetary science articles. </p>
<p>And I still much prefer academia to most other fields. There are many mysteries, but there’s no black hole to molecular biology. Eventually, we’ll discover every messenger molecule there is, and then we’ll lament how there are no more molecules to discover (although there will still be plenty to discover in terms of potential pathways and novel treatments). Anyways, I find studying toolkits to be frustrating, but eventually I won’t have to obsess over studying them anymore (so that I can move onto questions I’ve always loved, such as ones regarding planetary science and ones regarding biology). </p>
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<p>Yeah, you have a good point about emotional reciprocity. I don’t have many opportunities to experience emotional reciprocity right now. Such opportunities are hard to find for now, since I have to also avoid disappointing people (so I can mostly only look for people who are in a similar boat as I am [namely, those who really have to apply to grad/professional schools soon]), and also since I have to really focus on grad school (although it is uplifting to discuss grad school with others - unfortunately I have no one to discuss it with so I end up posting numerous threads on various grad school forums).</p>
<p>I had opportunities in the past, but I sort of ruined them due to poor communication. If I was better about communication (and about being considerate), I could still have opportunities to be emotionally reciprocative.</p>
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<p>Yeah, those are all good points too (and yeah, going out with friends does reduce inhibition/anxiety when they really know you well). Yeah, I’m also tempted to get “lost” in a world with just a few others. It’s not a bad thing to the people involved. But mostly there aren’t a lot of people who want to join in, so I feel like there are always people who can do it (well, being in a group can also motivate you to be nicer to potential outsiders too - it just happens that the vast majority of groups are so insular because people are not self-aware enough to realize that they have an innate predisposition towards irrational xenophobic thoughts). I was once part of a mailing list (you know which one), and I always wanted to invite people I really like onto it (especially those who didn’t seem to have many friends)</p>
<p>I don’t know - it’s sort of weird - but I somehow have to learn everything the clumsy/messy way. It’s immensely painful, and it ends up hurting others too. 
But I eventually learn the lessons well. And it gives me a strong visceral desire to never to make the mistakes I made again, or to hurt people the way I hurt them again (of course I can’t ever justify hurting others, and I wish the incidents never happened at all. They just really nail the things I must do in my head).</p>