<p>My son is quite overweight. His eating habits are wrecking his digestive system but he doesn’t seem to care. He eats a lot and never exercises. His saint of a GF has stuck with him, even though he’s about 50 lbs heavier than when they first started dating.</p>
<p>I know that no one can make another person lose weight, that the person has to really want it. If you were quite a bit overweight and then lost quite a bit of weight, what was your motivation?</p>
<p>I’m still in the middle of losing it, but:</p>
<p>My immediate motivations were the existence of a Weight Watchers at Work program and the realization that I could manage the complexities of Weight Watchers now because other parts of my life have become simpler (it’s permanent empty nest time at my house, with both kids graduated and living elsewhere).</p>
<p>But I doubt this applies to your son.</p>
<p>You say that your son’s eating habits “are wrecking his digestive system.” Could it be the other way around? Could digestive tract symptoms have caused changes in his life which in turn led to weight gain? </p>
<p>I ask because my son has digestive tract issues – diagnosed as irritable bowel syndrome, although I’m not sure the diagnosis is correct. He was prescribed a certain medication, which was very helpful for several years but is known to increase appetite. He gained at least 60 pounds during that period.</p>
<p>Obesity is associated with many medical problems, but digestive tract issues are not usually among them. I suspect that more is going on here than you understand.</p>
<p>I just realized that it was something I really wanted. I had always been unhappy with my body and I was becoming very unhealthy.
So last summer I lost over 50 lbs. And I have never been happier.</p>
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<p>[One</a> in three US adults is obese: study](<a href=“Breitbart News Network”>Breitbart News Network)</p>
<p>He is not the only one. We are a fat nation and that is not good for our health.</p>
<p>I recommend taking a full body picture of him and showing that picture to him. Most people cannot look at themselves and see incremental weight gain. Seeing a picture, however, can change that perception and make someone realize there is a problem.</p>
<p>I have lost weight in the past, gained it back and am currently in the process of trying to lose about 40 lbs. What did it for me was looking at myself in a pic my friend took on her phone. You don’t realize how FAT you are sometimes.</p>
<p>I am also motivated by my health. I was having severe GERD. I was taking nexium and carafate. Since I have been exercising and have lost about 14 lbs I no longer need these meds. </p>
<p>My cousin is overweight and I try to motivate her but she just doesn’t have that urge. I think health care professionals need to be more aggressive with overweight pts. As a nurse, I have seen pts and their families throw fits and switch Docs when the Dr uses the obese word. I had a 400 lb pt that took 5people to reposition in bed and when the Dr laid it on the line that her weight was killing her, she lost it. Refused to see this Dr and left the facility.</p>
<p>We are a nation in denial.</p>
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<p>There is a whole lot going on here. He’s on the autism spectrum, and digestive issues are part of the package. He has Executive Function Disorder, which includes very poor impulse control, which leads to binge eating. He has clinical depression (treated by medication) and is living at home rather than being away at school, which can lead to eating for comfort. He has a hiatal hernia, aggravated by obesity, which causes reflux, etc.
Example of eating: comes home from a late shift at work, eats 8 Jimmy Dean ready to eat sausages - 800 calories, 640 from fat, 104% of daily value of fat, then goes to bed. How would you feel after that? (I can’t even eat one of those.)</p>
<p>I have done a lot of research - I know what he should and shouldn’t eat, and when. He’s spent a lot of time at the PCP and the gastroenterologist. The gastroenterologist just does tests - no advice. The PCP just says to exercise. Michael Phelps probably couldn’t burn off all the calories he eats in a day.</p>
<p>As for how he looks - knows, doesn’t care. One of the terrific things about folks on the autism spectrum is that they don’t judge others on their looks. So if he doesn’t care how others look, why should anyone care how he looks?</p>
<p>missypie, maybe you need to change his doctors. Sounds like they’re not forceful enough for him.</p>
<p>While it may be a ‘scorched earth’ tactic, can you purge the house of unhealthy foods and stock up on low-fat items such as turkey burgers and fish? What about having a healthy meal ready for him when he gets home? </p>
<p>PS - Michael Phelps consumes nearly 10,000 calories/day when he’s in serious training of 4-6 hours/day in the pool.</p>
<p>If he is living at home, who buys the groceries? Although that is a very small part of the solution, having healthier choices available after work might help to get started. I also agree that he needs different doctors who can give him a plan.</p>
<p>My main motivation is my health (I am very very close to diabetes) but the daily reminder for me is a picture showing what looks like a life preserver under my bright orange Halloween shirt. It hangs on my kitchen cabinet.</p>
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<p>Some antidepressants are notorious for promoting weight gain.</p>
<p>Could he discuss this possibility with either his primary care doctor or gastroenterologist at his next office visit? A switch to a different drug might be very helpful.</p>
<p>I did it for my health, which I needed for reasons beyond “looking good.” I doubt this would work for your S however.</p>
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<p>It might, if the health problem he focuses on (and you focus on) is reflux. That’s very unpleasant, and it’s something that’s happening right now. But I still think he’s unlikely to be successful if any weight loss effort he undertakes is hampered by taking a medication that increases appetite.</p>
<p>Type 2 diabetes. When people ask me how I motivate myself to control my BG by severely restricting carbs, I say “retinopathy.” Works for me. That said, I do want to lose more weight, and for me that requires getting more regular exercise.</p>
<p>I suggest that you follow nj2011mom’s advice and clear your house of high-caloric, unhealthy foods. Ultimately, life style change is necessary. A person is less likely to succeed in establishing new habits if they constantly have to make choices, and for a person with poor impulse control it has to be even more difficult. Remove the temptation. Can you try to get him to exercise by taking walks with him, or something like that? Exercise not only burns calories, but helps stabilize mood, as we all know. :)</p>
<p>I would also suggest that you think twice before buying into the current conventional wisdom about diet, which pushes carbohydrates, which tends to create blood sugar swings and cravings for more. Putting your entire household on a Mediterranean-style way of eating–rather than a “diet”–would probably improve his health in general and lead to gradual weight loss. Low fat is not the be all and end all of healthy eating. The more nutritionists have pushed low fat and grains, the fatter our nation has become. Fats and proteins help produce a feeling of fullness. In the long run, WHICH fats are eaten is probably more important than how much. Olive oil, avocados, fatty fish: yes. Hydrogenated fats: no.</p>
<p>There are tasty things you can have for him to “binge” on that fulfill the desire for something salty and savory (it sounds like he doesn’t have a sweet tooth?) but are not going to pack the caloric load of what he now eats. Spuma di tonno, for example, is delicious with sliced red peppers and cucumbers, or with some kind of reasonably healthy cracker, and you don’t feel deprived eating it. If he eats the whole thing, no big deal.</p>
<p>It gets worse. He works at a grocery store. Don’t be quick to tell me to make him quit. Jobs are very hard to come by, he’s good at it and is comfortable there.</p>
<p>He was binging on sweets for about 9 months. He discontinued Lexipro and that made the sugar cravings subside, but he still binges.</p>
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<p>You’d think. But he just takes meds for it.</p>
<p>Have you ever overeaten so much that you were sick in the night? (Trying not to get too graphic.) I think the feeling of overeating is so unpleasant and disgusting that I avoid it. I have a pretty much permanent aversion to foods that have made me sick. But not Son. He will over eat, be sick, and do it again the next night.</p>
<p>He saw a therapist who was an executive function expert for most of last year. What that seemed to have done was to reinforce the idea that he has terrible impulse control…so why try?</p>
<p>Will he “listen” to his GF better than you? Can you enlist her help? Does he need to be built up in other ways (self-confidence/image) or will he respond to more hand holding with his eating and respond to encouragement when he has a night or a meal that is more reasonable in size and quality of the food item(s)???</p>
<p>Is he open to help? Maybe he can’t grasp or find a solution on his own. Is this is newer cycle (since he is home and not away at school)?</p>
<p>Oh boy. That is a very difficult situation. Perhaps one of the parents with a kid on the spectrum will have dealt with this and can help more than us amateurs. :(</p>
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<p>You say health care professionals need to be “more aggressive” with patients, then give examples of how negatively patients have reacted to this. I’m a nurse also, and I’ve never met an obese person who didn’t know they were dangerously fat. They KNOW. But like smokers, you can’t shame, badger, bully or even gently convince someone to change if they don’t want to do what it takes to achieve it. </p>
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<p>I totally agree with above. When you research diet, you find that many of the recommendations about eating low fat and high carbohydrates (even those “healthy whole grains”) were made on the basis of faulty science. Sugar, refined carbohydrates, excessive grains, and low fat dieting have obviously not solved our obesity problems. As Dr. Phil would say, “How’s that working for you?”</p>
<p>As to the OP, yes, she can fill her house with better choices, encourage him to exercise, etc., but unless and until her son wants to change, it’s not going to work. He has to have an internal reason and will to change, and until he does, she’s going nowhere with any of this. I’m sorry, but that’s the truth.</p>
<p>But if there aren’t any Jimmy Dean sausages available he might at least slow the weight gain down a little, and have a few less pounds to lose when is does find a reason to change.</p>
<p>(My sister lost about 40 pounds last year after having a knee replacement at age 56. She’s at the gym by 6:00 a.m. every day now.)</p>
<p>Is Wellburin a possible med for the depression. It has an appetite suppressing side effect for a good portion of patients.</p>
<p>What about replacing the sausages with precooked, sliced steak or chicken tenderloins? It could be an easily grabbed food, high in protein but without the added ‘goop’ of the sausages. Even though DS is out in the world during the day it sounds like the fridge stocking is still up to mom. Does he have certain triggers (like coming home from work) which cause the Jimmy Dean sausage behavior? </p>
<p>I’ve read many of your past posts regarding your DS. What a difficult and stressful situation for all involved. The hardest thing as a parent is to watch self destructive behavior in our children. How wonderful were the days when we could just put them in our lap and raise them above all the dangers. But, we never stop trying to help them.</p>
<p>He’s been on Wellbrutin for about a year.</p>
<p>He brings home food from the grocery store - sometimes hiding it in his car and getting up in the night to get it. He’s even left the house in the night to go to 24 hour fast food restaurants. So short of locking him up, “changing” has to come from him.</p>