<p>Another thought- my friend once said esteemable (not sure that is really a word) build self esteem. Your S’s self esteem is in a deep hole. Are there simple things he can do for you during the day while you are at work? Praise and thank him for things that you don’t think are a big deal. Even tell him how much a help it is when he folds the laundry. Also how you phrase things makes a difference. Instead of telling him you want him to do the laundry, say how much it would help you if he could get some of the laundry done while you are at work. Make him feel like he is doing you a favor. When you drive somewhere in the car tell him how much you value the time the two of you can spend together.
Also can he resume any of the community service avenues he did in high school?
Try to think of small things that you know he will be successful at.
Also workinprogress words are gold.</p>