If you "finally" lost a lot of weight, what motivated you?

Parent Cafe
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<p>I feel bad for your S and for you about this missypie. I’m not sure you’ll get a lot of help for him on this thread since his place in life now is different from most of us here plus he has the other issues you mentioned. </p>

<p>Usually for most of the people the age of the posters here, especially the males, the motivation is health as we see peers in our own age group start getting hit with heart attacks, strokes, mobility issues, and the like. For women appearance seems to be a major motivator. </p>

<p>At your S’s age the motivations can be to attract a mate, perform better in various sports including more solitary ones such as cycling, walking, swimming, hiking, etc., and sometimes just how they feel. </p>

<p>You can only do what you can do. This includes education of him in this area, not arguing with him about it which is generally counter-productive, trying to get him to see some professional help in this area including perhaps a psychologist to help him understand why he’s doing what he’s doing (I know you’ve tried), modeling proper eating habits and weight control by other members of the household, and limiting unhealthy eating opportunities in the house for him. I know the latter is tough since he can bring stuff home from the grocery, hit FF places, hide stuff, but that’s not a reason to give up on this front. There should never be sausages in the house for example since a sausage isn’t healthy for anyone. If nothing else he might not just assume it’s normal for a house to have a lot of this type of food readily available and it makes it a bigger hassle to get those late night snacks (or major meals in his case) so he may skip some or go for something a bit healthier instead if that’s all that’s in the house.</p>

<p>At the end of the day though there’s only so much you can do but you can still do what you can.</p>

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<p>Missy pie, two points</p>

<p>You need to model the active lifestyle for son. If younarent doing it, you can’t expect him to to listen.</p>

<p>Food is his drug of choice. If he was hiding booze in his car and drinking at night alone, how would you handle it</p>

<p>Also, the girlfriend, what’s she like with him?</p>

<p>If not already suggested get him to the doctor for a full medical he is a walking diabetic in the making</p>

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<p>Seahorses, I feel like he spent most of last year at the doctors. I thought exactly what you thought (diabetic in the making). I sent him to the PCP last January and blood sugar was fine but he was extraordinarily amemic. After having every test in the gastroenterologist’s arsenal, he received a couple of false diagnoses, then was finally just not anemiic any more this fall.</p>

<p>As for modeling an active lifestyle, I work out some. My H spends hours and hours at the gym. But of course, with teens and young adults, the rebelious side sometimes kicks in, and what the parents do is undesirable solely because it’s what the parents do.</p>

<p>His GF is supportive and not enabling. Son certainly doesn’t binge eat in front of her. Both of the GF’s parents work in the restaurant business, so they certainly cook and eat…not “health food” but not junk food. The GF is normal weight but doesn’t work out in the least. She is like many of us…totally unathletic, so no chance of doing a sport “for fun.” Working out is just that - work.</p>

<p>I am very well aware that food is my son’s drug of choice. And if it was a street drug instead, I’d probably be posting about the same thing and the answers would be about the same (only staying out of jail might be a possible motivator.)</p>

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<p>My college senior S is similar…doesn’t binge eat but eats mostly junk,drinks too much beer with his friends and doesn’t do any sort of exercise other than walking to class.
He lives three or four blocks away fr. his big state u. so he prob. walks a couple of miles a day but that doesn’t make up for all the burgers/fries/pizza/beer that is the college boy diet. He hates to work out. He’s a natural athlete and enjoys pick-up games w/ friends but it’s not on a reg. basis. I keep dropping hints about healthier eating. He’ll be looking for a real job after graduation (May). I hate to tell him that being overweight could be a detractor for some employers. He doesn’t have a lot of self confidence and is dreading interviews so I hate to make it worse. Also, his older bro. is in the military and is a chiseled gym rat, DH and I have lost 20 and 50 lbs over the last year. So S2 is now the only one who really needs to drop some weight and he knows it.</p>

<p>He told me at Christmas that he just can’t see a diet change happening as long as he’s at college and eating w/ friends every night. A couple of times over Christmas break when we had plenty of food in the house, he would leave and go buy fast food for himself instead…ugh. He was a defensive lineman all through h.s. and was in great shape. He’s 6’ tall and weighs about 210. There’s no muscle there anymore. It’s all chicken biscuits.</p>

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<p>Packmom, the thing about boys is that most of them go through a stage when they are growing so quickly that they can eat massive quantities of food and not gain weight. Then the party’s over and they are in the habit of eating massive quantities of food. (Probably an even harder adjustment when they play a sport that encourages them to bulk up and then they stop playing the sport.)</p>

<p>I’m not saying that girls don’t have their own challenges, but most teen girls don’t go through most of high school being able to chow down without gaining weight.</p>

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<p>I’m not saying that girls don’t have their own challenges, but most teen girls don’t go through most of high school being able to chow down without gaining weight.</p>

<p>If they play a sport they can.
Both of my kids & me- were fairly active in high school & ate what ever we wanted.
I would come home from track practice and have two sandwiches to hold me over until dinner.
Kind of a shock when I wasn’t on a team anymore.</p>

<p>But girls ( except for the shot-putters) don’t have weight gain as a * focus* generally when playing sports. They eat cause they are hungry, not cause they want to bulk up.</p>

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<p>Missypie, I don’t know if this will be at all helpful or not . . .</p>

<p>I have struggled with my weight my entire life. Supposedly, when I was a baby, my pediatrician told my mother to limit my formula, since I was getting too chubby. Been up and down the scale, over and over again. Earliest I remember being on a diet is 3rd grade. Never been morbidly obese, but have been obese.</p>

<p>Evolutionally, I would probably do very well in a famine! Gain weight very easily, lose weight very slowly. I am also very sedentary.</p>

<p>Some things that have worked for me: adding movement to my life in ways I can’t avoid/have to do it, under the theory moving is better than not moving. For example, (if reasonable) walk somewhere instead of driving, which means I also have to walk home. Park as far as possible away from the entrance if I am driving somewhere (or have whoever is driving park/drop me off a distance from the entrance). Positioning my printer, or food, or whatever object I need/want a distance away so I have to actually get up to get things I want. I also have two dogs who insist on going for walks every day, whether I feel like it or not. I have friends who know to call me up and have me take a walk with them.</p>

<p>I have also been taking a prescribed medication that is an appetite suppressant. It has been very helpful for me. I don’t crave food all the time. If there are donuts in our breakroom at work, I am able to make the decision to not have one, instead of grabbing one automatically. I don’t have to constantly snack. It enables me to not overeat.</p>

<p>With his other medications/health issues, I don’t know if something like this is an option or not.</p>

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<p>college_query,
So many similarities to my life!! (yes, I went from formula to whole milk to skim milk to starlac - the powdered kind, in my first year LOL…) Mom and Dad were TERRIFIED I would be a fattie, like Dad’s sister… The message about weight and the importance of appearance in M and D’s eyes has stayed with me my whole life, for sure.</p>

<p>Can you share the name of the appetite suppressant? how it makes you feel? how long you have been on it? how much weight you have lost?
Thanks!</p>

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<p>Hi Missypie,
I recently lost 25+ pounds, in last 3 months and have another 10 to lost before I am normal weight (BMI< 25). I am being followed by a doctor who has given me a list of food I can eat and has explained to me , how folks like me put on weight. Cutting out the sugar and starch was difficult at first , but I no longer have sugar cravings.
What motivated me was 1) a recent photo & 2)being told by a doctor that I was obese and what next steps would be , if I did not take action(ie diabetes). He also said that cheating was not allowed. I did not think I could get this far, but I did. Am convinced that once I get to stabilize, I will have to maintain a high protein diet for the most part.
What was the most difficult thing ? Getting started, or taking a decision to start. I also had a pact with husband/son that they were to bring in no junk food /chocolate(my weakness) to trigger or tempt me. They complied. Now I feel somewhat immune from temptation and tell myself if I want to gain weight, then go ahead and have the piece of bread or sweet or glass of wine - which I choose not to.
What was essential was to be accompagnied by this doctor and also find an activity that would help me in moments of stress. I have taken an 8 week class of MBSR - mindfulness based stress reduction and meditate 1/day… new habits to replace unhealthy ones…
Hope this helps and hugs to you while you are helping son…</p>

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<p>Missypie–The details of ours kids’ situations are pretty different but I can so relate to your concern about how to motivate your adult kid (D is a college sophomore) in a healthy direction about food. Until adolescence, D was tall and skinny. At about 14, she began gaining weight, and while she is not (and has never been) overweight by medical standards, she is not pleased with how much she weighs now. Simply telling her that no, she is not fat does nothing to change her desire to weigh less than she does. So far this has not become a huge issue, but eating disorders seem to run in both my and H’s families and so I really want her to focus on being healthy rather than being skinny.</p>

<p>So, here is what we are doing: the 5K family race at Disneyworld in February. A fun family weekend plus a reason to exercise that is not about losing weight. Maybe something like a race would motivate your son, especially if you or some others in your family were also participating?</p>

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<p>Performersmom, I have been taking phentermine 37.5. One of my co-workers who is very heavy (morbidly obese) was prescribed it by her personal physician, and she was having a lot of success. I went to see the doctor where we work (I work at a university) and asked her about it, and whether or not it was something I could try. This was in October of 2010. She prescribed it to me initially in a lower dose, but eventually increased it to 37.5.</p>

<p>I lost around 1 lb a week, to a total of around 40 lbs. The doctor had me go in every month to have my blood pressure/weight checked, and only wrote the prescription for a month at a time. It is not covered by my health insurance, but runs around $25 - $36 a month.</p>

<p>Then, that doctor left our university in August of 2011, and they decided to replace the doctor with a nurse practitioner, and no longer will prescribe it.</p>

<p>At first I decided I should use her departure to try to “go it alone” and not use it any longer, however, in about 4 months I had gained almost 10 lbs back. So I made an appointment with my doctor, to ask what he thought, and if I could go back on the medication.</p>

<p>I started back on the medication at the end of October, and am now back down where I was initially, before I went off the medication. Again, I am prescribed a month at a time, and get my blood pressure checked.</p>

<p>The main symptoms I have had: dry mouth (I drink lots of water and use a mouth rinse like Biotene), and for me, it’s an “upper.” I’m not nearly as tired, and have more energy. It can cause sleeplessness and jitters, but I haven’t had a problem with that.</p>

<p>I have been losing weight because I eat less food. You can still overeat, but for me, it’s been enough of a decrease to lose the weight slowly.</p>

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<p>College_query- thanks for that info. I hear phentermine is safe, but others say it can be bad for the heart and can be addictive. Others say that its effects eventually wear off. Go figure!
Glad it is working for you!!! And hope it keeps on working.
Has your blood pressure gone up or down while you are on it?</p>

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<p>Alas, I’ve read that phentermine should not be taken by folks on WellBrutin and Concerta.</p>

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<p>My blood pressure has always been very low. The medication has raised it a little. However, when I had it checked earlier this week, it was the highest it has ever been. I have a follow-up appointment in 2 weeks, and in the meantime my dr. wants me to check my blood pressure daily to see what it’s doing.</p>

<p>I also take levothyroxine for low thyroid, and that dosage was just adjusted, which may/may not be a factor.</p>

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<p>Nrdsb: I just said in my previous post that physicians need to offer more education and support while .in theoffice. That is truly what I mean by being agressive, sorry if I didn’t get that point across clearly.</p>

<p>And I am aware most obese people realize they are obese and know it is hurting them. We have an epidemic of sickness in this nation so we are doing something very wrong. Something needs changed.</p>

<p>And to whoever asked me if I did things I knew were wrong, well absolutely I do. But eating myself into oblivion, to the point of morbid obesity is a lot different than eating buttered popcorn two or three times a year at the movies. And I don’t take xanax. Although after coming onto this sight, maybe I should. </p>

<p>I don’t have the answer when my aunt asks me how to motivate her daughter. All I know is that I think people in healthcare can do more than we do right now. When the pt is sitting in front of us. </p>

<p>I will just keep my opinions to myself though. It is so easy to sit behind a computer and offer opinions isn’t it? I wonder how many people would speak the way they do online to others face to face? I would, Lol, but I am pretty aggressive even in person I guess. :P</p>

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<p>…my Aunt tells me all the time I don’t really know how it is because I have never been excessively obese, and was skinny most of my life. Perhaps that does taint my perspective. But right now I am battling to get back to a healthy weight and I tell her, I may not understand how it feels to grow up fat but I know what it feels like now. I am ashamed of myself for getting to 177 lbs (163 now!) Maybe that plays a part in everyone’s journey. Shame, burying their head in the sand, denial. </p>

<p>It feels good to eat. It can be a sanctuary. I have empathy and struggle with resentment toward my obese pts. When I see them in bariatric bed, diabetic, in heart and kidney failure, cellulitis…etc. I am sad and angry. Toward them a little but a lot toward our society that seems to fail in this area.</p>

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<p>I haven’t followed the last couple pages of this thread. I recall one early poster saying that it takes a lifestyle change to make weight loss permanent. That was certainly true for me. I used to eat unconsciously. “Oh look, another plate of cookies” was a call to arms. The result was, um, weighty. I can eat anything I want now, in limited amounts. That was the lifestyle change for me. YMMV.</p>

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<p>I do agree with that statement, mspearl, at least when it comes to my Son’s doctors. They are definitely of the treat the symptoms/there’s always another pill to prescribe variety, rather than the “here is the source of your problem” variety. My son is young enough that if a non-parent authority figure (like a 55 year old doctor) gave him some specific instructions, he might possibly maybe follow them But when the doctor says nothing, then in Son’s mind, it’s just us obsessing about his eating habits.</p>

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<p>I think this exemplifies what is currently missing in treating obese patients. People who overeat often times have found that eating is a way to deal with stress. It’s releases chemicals in the brain that temporary calms one down. Unfortunately, after a while the brain becomes hardwired to need that food ‘high’. It’s not as simple as just going on a diet or exercising. They need to learn other coping mechanisms to deal with everyday stress or their diets will ultimately fail. Serious weight loss programs know this and offer to teach these skills. We have a bariatric program at my hospital and prospective surgical patients are required to attend 6 months of weekly group counseling before they can get the surgery. It makes a big difference in long-term patient outcome.</p>

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<p>mspearl,
The ultimate irony is that most alternative, holistic and integrative health practitioners consider food and nutrition to be one of the most powerful tools to health (and poisons if misused), and look at the whole patient to understand the underlying cause and inter-connectedness of the symptoms.
This is quite different from the older school MD’s, as you have experienced.
Can you possibly find a younger more integrative doctor for your son, who will get him to think of food as a tool (and then he may get how important it is to put good things into one’s body)?
Food and IBD have significant affects on mood. The gut has its own set of Serotonin engines. Finally we took my D to a more integrative physician, and at his recommendation, she is managing her IBD and her moods very well with DigestGold enzymes, probiotics and Omega 3’s. She feels so much better, and she now eats very healthy things. She has other issues, too, but sees an acupuncturist for her hormones and it also really helps her moods. She is also now aware of how what she eats really makes a difference to her moods and her health. She is now also practicing CBT with some success this past year, after years of fairly ineffective talk-therapy.
I am telling you this even though she is not on the spectrum nor does she had EFD … who knows if the EFD might not also be improved with the right nutrition???</p>

<p>So there is hope, if you can try some new things like this.</p>

<p>p.s. There is now some research coming out the Medium Chain Triglycerides help prevent and moderate alzheimers, and may also help with autism. PURE COCONUT OIL is an excellent source of MCT’s. Google this latest stuff.</p>

<p>I also never heard back on whether he could SWITCH JOBS, away from food, to something more about health and/or more active/helping others: hospital or nursing home aide for diabetics, landscaper/gardener assistant, Home Dept, contractor, working with young kids on the spectrum to coach or tutor…</p>