<p>^Now that I re-read my post, I see that I am not exactly answering OP’s question!
So, maybe that IS the point: make the goal HEALTH first, then with weight loss.</p>
<p>Whenever I’ve tried to find integrative physician, I find these fringe guys who sell lots of supplements and don’t take insurance.</p>
<p>He is very resisitant to changing jobs. I would push for it more if the job outlook was better.</p>
<p>WEll, do not give up. Integrative is better than alternative! Try to find a YOUNGER MD, because some of these combine allopathic with alternative.</p>
<p>As for the job, I do understand that routines are very important to him. But this routine may be killing him. Seriously, it may be time for him to make a change, as difficult as that may be.</p>
<p>Dr. Oz was on the Today Show talking about how lack of sleep contributes to obesity. Many people on the autism spectrum have sleep issues and Son is certainly among them.</p>
<p>missypie,
If your son was living and eating the most healthily he could, he would be better off, whether or not he lost weight or his autism was moderated:
exercise, new job, better food, some supplements, sleep, low stress, joy and laughter, autonomy.</p>
<p>It is hard for EVERYONE to change. It is SUPER-hard for him to change, and I am so sorry. Slide in a few changes and he will have to/want to change other things?
Has he ever tried OA (Overeaters Anonymous)? Can he keep a food diary?</p>
<p>I found a nearby “male only” chapter of OA, but he won’t go.</p>
<p>Missypie-</p>
<p>I hope my comment about modelling good eating habits didn’t come off as snarky, I didn’t mean it to and if it did, I apologize. The last thing I would ever do is throw out something judgemental about a topic like this, given my own battles with weight. I know people who have metabolisms where they could eat cookies and ice cream for breakfast, lunch and dinner who wouldn’t gain an ounce of weight and can’t understand how anyone could be overweight…I do know how hard it is, and as you point out, your S controls aspects of his diet you can’t (and at his age, quite honestly, you can influence, not really tell him).</p>
<p>One thought, just to throw out there, has anyone tried being a workout buddy to him? Make it a point to go to the gym with him regularly? I am asking because there is the possibility that once introduced to working out like that, he may find it does a lot more then simply help him lose weight. When you exercise brain chemistry is changed, for example, people with low level depression can help treat the depression with regular workouts. In a sense, it would replace eating (which likewise changes brain chemistry, things like chocolate and candy and such can be a form of self medication, much as people with emotional issues/mental health issues can use illegal drugs to self medicate …) with working out as an emotional helper. I can’t guarantee that will happen, but figured I would throw it out there. Various studies have shown that having ‘workout buddies’ increases the chance of people continuing on with working out, whereas ‘going it solo’ often fails…</p>
<p>One other suggestion I have, have you ever gone to Andrew Weil’s website, Drweil.com? I am a big fan, he is an MD but is big on integrative medicine and he stresses things like nutrition and such, and I wouldn’t be surprised if he had things on the site that may help. Too, you might even be able to send him an e-mail and ask him if he has any advice, he routinely answers questions on the site, and he also might have something to suggest given your son’s unique characteristics. Not saying he will, but might be worth a shot…also, using google, you might be able to find other people who have people in their lives with the kinds of issues your S has, I suspect a lot more then your S has these kind of issues.</p>
<p>Mspearl, don’t be afraid to share on here, my comment was not that doctors need not to be aggressive with things like obesity and such, rather it is many of them don’t have a clue about what has been found out about weight, nutrition and health or worse, they share the common attitudes that being obese or overweight is a moral failing or ‘indulgence’ or ‘gluttony’, rather then what it is, a serious health measure. In many ways, it isn’t all that different then the attitude towards alchoholics and drug addicts not that long ago, I belonged to a church that was considered radical even back then (would be considered middle of the road today, though the church today is pretty radical) in that they were the first church in NJ and perhaps the US to allow an AA group to use space in the church…</p>
<p>.It varies from place to place, obesity is a lot less likely in some groups/areas then others, but it is a problem. Factors like poverty (that between ignorance, and also the fact that many processed/fast foods are cheap and what seems like filling), or on the other hand, families so stressed for time that people are eating on the fly, eating at work and so forth, that they rely on a plethora of packaged and take out foods that often aren’t so healthy. </p>
<p>A lot of things have conspired, the growth of fast food and packaged food industries certainly hasn’t helped, the growth of ‘supersize me’ ‘value’ meals loaded with fat and empty carbs, subsidized food that subsidizes the wrong things (like high fructose corn syrup used as filler in so many things; ever take a look at so called low fat foods? many of them are loaded with HFC as a filler, which in turn is because HFC is so cheap thanks to generous government subsidies to corn farms and agribusinesses like ADM and Cargill)…add to that the fact that many people spend a lot of time commuting, longer hours at the office, kids stuffed with many hours of homework and extra curricular activities, many of which are not active, and you can see the problems…</p>
<p>I think the other problem is nutrition seems to be a battle of the gurus, every other week we have ‘experts’ telling us what to eat or not eat. Atkins was the super diet (I think it is a disaster personally), then it because the south beach diet, then it became whole grains, then it became glycemic index based eating, what’s next? Dietary cholesterol was supposed to be the big deal, then long term studies have come out that dietary cholesterol may not be as big a factor in heart disease as once thought…so who do you believe any more? The government, thanks to political factors, keeps revising the FDA food pyramids and such while in effect subsidizing the very things they tell people to limit.</p>
<p>Good suggestion on Andrew Weil, musicprnt. He may even know of a practitioner near missypie, too,
I think Oz’s site also has commentary from integratives. (Dr Mercole is way too controversial for most people.)</p>
<p>That’s another problem with his job…it’s evenings…6-12 or 5-11. I would gladly be his workout buddy, but I’m not home when he is…with a regular work day schedule, we could eat a healthy meal as a family, then go work out together.</p>
<p>Another reason to switch jobs? Or is he doing something else during the day?
p.s what is his sleep schedule? his meal schedule?</p>
<p>What motivated a friend’s teenage son was seeing pictures of himself in groups of much thinner people - especially pictures that were taken from behind or in other candid situations. It was a shock for him to see how he really looked. He then went on the 17 day diet and lost weight quickly and that really helped to jump start both motivation and confidence. He has maintained his weight loss and now eats 17 day diet as a way of life - limiting all white sugar and white flour. I think the point was also driven home with when he picked up two 20 lb bags of potatoes in the grocery store and his mom reminded him that the potatoes equated to the extra weight he was carrying. At the end of the day, my friend realized that the motivation to lose weight had to come from her son. Best of luck to you and your son.</p>
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<p>Insert “husband” instead of “son” and you have the scenario at my house – only the long-term results of obesity are now coming home to roost and behavior is still not significantly changing.</p>
<p>A few years ago, my friend and I made a bet, that the one who loses the most weight in 75 days got $500. I lost 25 lbs, he lost 22.</p>
<p>It became fun, like a competition.</p>
<p>That became our motivation.</p>
<p>Missypie,
As a physician I am ashamed that your son’s doctors are unhelpful. It is no excuse but most are poorly trained in nutrition -it was not taught in med school at all when I went in the '80s. I try not to lecture but let patients know they cannot expect to live as long or as well as they should if they can’t get their weight down. I never use the word obese. I ask them what they are eating and tell them that crash dieting won’t work over the long haul. We find simple easy things they can do -eliminate pop, juices and alcohol for starters. Portion control. Cut back processed foods. Then we talk about how they could incorporate exercise into their life. I try to stay very positive and let them know they can do it! If they get 20 lbs off it will make a difference (most of them should lose a lot more but I don’t want to overwhelm) If they come in with any weight loss at all I make a big deal about it. </p>
<p>You might try grabbing the doc before he/she comes into the room and tell him you need him to address the issue. Check to see if weight gain is a side effect of his meds and have the doc address that also.</p>
<p>Remember that the Big Food industry contributes to the obesity epidemic with its addictive, overprocessed junk food and shameless marketing to kids. It is a big discussion at our medical meetings but that’s a fight that they likely will continue to win. </p>
<p>As others have said, he has to have the desire to make the change. The good news is that young men seem to have the best luck losing weight when they try.</p>
<p>missypie, I’m not saying that this is what you need to get for your son… I’m bringing this up for others. This could be a neat tool for people who cannot find enough motivation to get themselves to the gym:</p>
<p>[GymPact:</a> Skipped The Gym Today? That Will Be $5](<a href=“HuffPost - Breaking News, U.S. and World News | HuffPost”>GymPact: Skipped The Gym Today? That Will Be $5 | HuffPost Life)</p>
<p>In my experience, losing weight is the easy part. It’s keeping it off that’s the problem. I think young people often have good luck with this when they are part of a group exercise group. You know, the guys who meet several times a week to play basketball together, running groups, sports leagues for amateurs, etc. Any chance he could get interested in something like that?</p>
<p>I love healthy food. Problem is, I also love fattening food (pizza, burgers, beef fajita bean and cheese nachos with lots of cheese, wine and cheese, loaded baked potatoes).</p>
<p>In the old days, I could eat whatever I wanted as long as I worked out. Not so anymore.</p>
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<p>The problem with ideas such as making a bet with a friend, having a workout buddy, playing sports, etc. is that he is on the autism spectrum. He has no real male friends. He will occasionally socialize with classmates or co-workers, but he is included when “everyone” is invited. Plus, he SO unathletic. If I posted a video of him as a little boy trying to hit a ball with a bat, it would go viral.</p>
<p>Missypie- No real answers but I did talk with a friend who went through something similar. In her case it was even more difficult since it was with her D and my friend has always been trim and fit.
My friend went to a therapist for herself. She came to realize that she wasn’t helping and that the only person she had any control over was herself. She did have some control over what went on in her house. Her D knew she was out of control but her Mom and Dad constantly telling her wasn’t helping. She knew she shouldn’t hoard food and eat in secret. She knew she shouldn’t hide alcohol. She knew she needed to take her meds and see someone. Easy to acknowledge but not easy to make any changes, especially if you aren’t ready. Things my friend did- told her D that she had no control over what her D ate but it was her house and she did not want rodents or ants and that if her D wanted to eat she needed to eat in the kitchen and store food in the kitchen. My friend also made a point of having cut up fruit and vegetables on the counter when her D came home from work. In her words, your secrets keep you sick. My friend kept the offer open that they were willing to pay for the psychiatrist and psychologist when her D was ready to go back. It was a long battle. Her D eventually left the family home. My friend continued to love her. Like you S her D worked at the grocery store, some evenings in the service deli and would come home with fried chicken and whole cakes. A change came when her D took a job at Trader Joe’s. At TJ’s she worked with other young people many who were into a healthier lifesyle. It has been slow going and for every three steps forward it has been a step back.</p>
<p>GREAT story, mom60. Such a huge struggle, and it acknowledges that. Amazing, even has a bit of a happy ending, and some ideas for how to live with this if it goes on…</p>
<p>We talk about working out etc but walking does wonders. Hiking is amazing and doesn’t have to be done in a group. I would do my best to encourage that lazy boy to get his body moving. Our bodies are not meant to be still, they are meant to move. It saddends me the op isn’t modeling physically the behavior she wants from her soon. It will do the whole family a lot of good to just walk. Rain or shine. Snow or sun.</p>