I think D2 loved being the “only child” for two years, after her sister left for college. I loved it, too.
I have a confession to make…husband and I drove ( 2.5 hours each way ) to see daughter yesterday . It was her first day of classes. Believe it or not, it was HIS idea ! We brought some things she forgot and or didn’t expect to need and he helped her with her printer. The fun part was, we brought our two dogs with us. I called the campus police to make sure they were allowed on the grounds ( I knew they weren’t in the dorm ) It was a fun surprise and it was kind of an ice breaker for a lot of people. I can’t tell you how many students stopped to pat them and say " hi ". Corgis tend to attract a crowd 
I am happy to see her settling in. She had zero enthusiasm a week ago but she’s warming up , more than we expected. That definitely helps this mom a lot
What’s a great surprise, I am sure your daughter loved it. Now I’m considering taking the pet when I visit son in October.
Lie, what a great idea to bring the dogs! And such a sweet hubby…
One thing I found funny was how many of the kids stopped to pat them and say how much they missed their dogs ( no mention of missing parents ) 
So this is it . . . I have been an official empty nester for 20 minutes and an official mess. I was already getting touchy yesterday as it has been a week since I move DS in. My emotional systems have just realized that he’s not away at jazz camp, he is actually away. DD just headed out and now I have to pull myself together to power through my work day. Requesting virtual hugs. It was all fun and games and empowerment until the actual moment of truth. =((
Work will be the best thing for you. It is what you know and what your routine knows. In one week you will look back at today and still miss your kid(s) but you will hopefully feel more stable. Your emoticon is heartbreaking but adorable!!! Hugs to you.
MAKE some plans for this weekend. For TONIGHT. Even if it is weeding the garden or scrubbing the kitchen floor (though please DO choose something a little more fun!)
Even though H has been on my “annoying list” the last couple of days, I am thinking of texting him and inviting him to a date night tonight - something we very, very rarely did while the kids were home. I always say we have been excellent parents but not always good spouses - just haven’t made the time for each other. I’m proposing a simple dinner out al fresco and a sit out by the fire pit when it gets dark.
D2 who made me “empty nested” is finishing her first full week of school today. This is the longest time in her life I haven’t seen her! Yet we are talking and texting often. I am not seeing her physically but do feel up to date on what’s going on with her.
@saintfan, (((((hugs))))). Give it a couple of hours at least!
@saintfan, {{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}, {{{{{{HUGS}}}}}},{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}
(((@Saintfan))))…it will get better. The first 4 - 5 days were the worst. The best thing is to keep yourself busy, even doing mundane things like housework this weekend. Go on walks, clean her room. The first thing I did was pull off all the bedding and do laundry. This week I tackled his room…found that every inch of space underneath his queen bed had something there…I thought he was neat…haha. I think I had about 2 garbage bags of stuff…old Tshirt, ripped backpacks, old school papers. Just cleaning it out made me feel better and closer to him holding his stuff.
Work is a godsend, but when I come home I now tend to keep moving, instead of just relaxing and noticing the quiet.
The last couple of days have been better…but that’s probably because we are seeing him tomorrow for a couple of hours (yeah!)…but then a month will go by that I won’t be able to see him.
Plan some dinner with friends, that will help. I know it’s strange without them. It’s still odd, I"m sure it will take a few more weeks until I stop thinking about it all the time. I find that 3:00, when he typically got home, seems a sadder time for me. (I was mostly home by 2:45).
One of the things that I said I would be glad to welcome is not having to make dinner! Well, a week of salads isn’t cutting it…and DH and I need more. So, I plan on cooking more…but things I haven’t cooked for years because I know they wouldn’t eat it.
Anybody’s kid really homesick? Trust me, that doesn’t help this parent. For those whose kids have been through it, curious what the ranges of time have been before your kid got better.
Raising my hand for S who was the #2 out of 3 to go to college. He went from being a top feeder in high school to being the bottom of the bowl (social and activity wise!) that first semester in college. He was 3 hours from home and 3 hours away from GF. It was a rough journey which got a little better after a short T-giving break and got LOTS better after a nice relaxing Christmas break. Those phone calls were tough to listen to -him being so unhappy. He did seek some help from the counseling center (hey! I’m not alone!, he found out). Just a few times of talking to a counselor and developing a plan.
Your mind wants to go immediately to: “did we make a bad decision!?” “should we think about transferring?!” - the best advice i heard about this??? “Remember - if you transfer you get to repeat freshman year twice” - ugh, so true! Hard enough being the new kid on the block once, harder twice!!!
I would expect many/most kids to have a degree of homesickness at some point. The honeymoon is over. Time heals this most times. Be supportive, listen, but try not to feed it - point out the positives, pick up on any positives and do your best to keep contact upbeat and not wallowing in the home sickness!!
Well, if phone calls or texting is a sign of homesickness, than son is most definitely NOT homesick.
I have to say,@conmama, I found cleaning son’s room(cleaning doesn’t do the effort justice) to have the opposite affect. I had put it off until this week and now finding an old toy wedged inside a draw or a pair of forgotten toddler pajama in the back of a drawer is sort of making me miss him just a bit more.
My own public service announcement: IMO, it is respectful to ask your child if it is “ok” if you clean their room top to bottom. It’s still their room, their stuff - of course you want it clean, but if you’re really digging, would be great to have their blessing to do that.
My kids know me well enough that I will be cleaning their rooms. They really do. I also know them well enough that they will not have left anything they don’t want yo be found…haha. Actually, when I came across a drawer with personal stuff I left it alone, and I will tell him that.
I did get sentimental over a few childhood things, but I kept my attitude more of “for crying out loud you piggies”
I cleaned my daughter’s room too - but with her blessing and in our case, I didn’t mess with her drawer/closet contents - just the things that were visable or in the way for cleaning purposes. I don’t have anything to hide, but I still don’t want anyone going through my drawers!
I plan to just chill this afternoon/evening, walk the dog, putter around the house a bit and maybe watch some football. DH wanted to do something to celebrate but I am wiped out after all the logistics of the summer. We went from the end of year and graduation craziness to June orientation to road trip, to best friend passing away unexpectedly, to 6 day family reunion, to DD and her GF home from school so a houseguest for a week, to 1 week of staging for kid #2 to launch, to 5 days of launching kid #2 across the country, to 5 days of staging kid #1 to drive half way across the country for senior year and here we are. I was up until almost midnight hemming pants (the new professional wardrobe for DD’s fall practicum) and up at 4:30 this am for work and to see her off. I may just wander around the house aimlessly and survey the wreckage a bit. I am planning nothing big this weekend. It’s supposed to storm tomorrow and between the Little League World Series and the Seahawks game Saturday evening I could just putter or lay on the couch and watch sports all weekend.
The old soccer photo fridge magnets nearly undid me this morning so I don’t think heading into the rooms to clean is a good idea at this point. They are, of course, happy and having fun and just where they should be. I am having that weird feeling that I had after my tubal ligation a million years ago. It’s the end of an era. It’s a good and chosen thing but a loss all the same and a part of life that is never coming back in quite the same way.
@evermom1 It is all going surprisingly well. A few tearful moments. My husband kept pointing out spots where there were three seats to sit and wait at the airport on the way back here. Daughter has used the text part of Skype frequently. I think feeling like the school is a great fit, and the fact that most of the time she has seemed happy and excited has been a plus. Do we miss her, heck yes!
Grocery shopping was weird today, not buying stuff for daughter’s school lunches, her milk, and other things. It is these changes that make me a little sad.
This is true - but maybe you’re saving some $$$ that you can put aside to treat her (and maybe you!) to something special the next time you see her! Dinner out, a weekend trip, a play…