@Barbalot, Definitely more texts than phone calls. Texting is new for me, but I don’t mind them. I have this picture of him in the dorm room inserted as his caller ID. I took a screen shot of me for my caller profile. It’s a bit like talking face to face. I think it must be easier for him to text than call, but texting seems superficial.
@barbalot, instead of calling blankly, text and say, “I’d love to hear about your first day of classes - anytime tonight you might have 5 minutes to chat?” - most can find 5 minutes. 
It would be awkward for me to talk aloud in a small room with other people - right?
I feel we are just continuing some of the habits we had set up prior to college. Texts to each other of funny stuff, questions, updates, etc. as needed or wanted during the day. This D is not a big phone chatter - she WILL chat but is not going to stay on the phone for 40 minutes (honestly, I don’t want to talk to anyone for that long either!) - so we will be efficient, loving and sharing in shorter phone calls.
Alrighty - the first weekend is upon us for those of us who dropped off this week (or maybe the week before). Tell something you have planned for the weekend. If you don’t have something planned, tell us something you WILL plan now! Let’s fill that weekend with some routine!
I’ll be heading for a family visit at my mom’s 45 minutes away this evening. Lots of put off house cleaning and sorting - especially 2 bedrooms this weekend. A friend may stop by from out of town to drop some stuff off, so maybe a lunch or dinner out. Exercise. Good weather so planning to throw pup in the car and walk at our favorite park. Going to enjoy this weekend like any other! And hope that D enjoys her first weekend at college.
Okay, this may seem really boring, but a writer friend sent a manuscript to review, so I’m going to enjoy having the time to read it.
We have a small lake cottage about 2.5 hours away. We’re leaving this afternoon and having dinner with good friends tomorrow who live there and became empty nesters last fall. We’ve all sort of been waiting on this so we can travel together without worrying about what to do with the kids!
I would like to add I am so glad we didn’t have texting or smartphones when I was in college. I was ecstatic to get away from my parents…totally away. Would have HATED their being able to get ahold of me the way we are our kids. I’m going to have to be mindful of that.
Key words above: “being able to get ahold of me the way we ARE” or “we COULD”??? It’s a two way street! Both sides can practice courtesy and restraint if needed.
Thanks @evermom1 I am still more excited than scared, which I take to be a good sign. My husband and I have both had the belief that you only get one chance to raise a child, and we feel like we have done a good job. She and I are very close, I am going to miss her like heck. We are already so proud of her too.
I am on my own in NOLA doing mostly whatever I feel like doing at the moment. It is heavenly for this slice of time to just live and choose without a care for anyone else. I don’t remember the last time I did that.
@saintfan, I hear that! I have eaten the same thing for dinner for four days in a row. Bake potato and a salad. Yum, love it. Couldn’t do that with the kid around. I think I’m just going to see how long one can eat the same thing before one grows tired of it.
@abasket , I found that the text request for a call when convenient worked very well. Sometimes, text conversations don’t cut it and you just need to hear the voice.
Barbalot, I think all situations are different re communications. We certainly would like at minimum a text to know he is ok every so often but we want him to also make connections at school so he can get on with life like we must do. I expect he will need something often so he will probably text. Son is a little homesick now and questioning college decision and we are encouraging him to get out and engage. If I have to make a choice I will settle for a happy kid with less communication.
May as well join in…definitely missing son after leaving last night. I think it is probably more about the realization that the childhood an everyday interaction is now gone for good, especially when you are so close. But, it is the way it needs to be…first you give them roots, then wings. It is the way of the world. All of us wish we could get in a time machine and relive any random day when our kids were little. Glad I’m not the only one feeling a little lost, there is some comfort in knowing I am not alone.
Kollegeguy…well said…only thing i will add in our case is to keep our fingers crossed! Sure seems like an LCSW/counselor could have a big business conducting group sessions talking about these matters.
Watching tv with my D who has 3 more years until we send her off…so still not an empty nester, but I do see the hour glass running lower :(. I hope everyone’s feeling better and everyone’s kids are doing great…them going away is what it was all about from the beginning, so I guess celebrate on a job well done!
Move in went great. Daughter is in a quad, and it is tight space wise, two only children girls of older parents, and two girls with several sisters. The school was so organized and the parent activities were well done. Only a few tears. I think what is making it good is the feeling that the school is the perfect fit. Of course we are still in a hotel in the same town tonight. Tomorrow we drive away and the next day fly to Asia which will be weird without her. This is exciting and scary, but she has to do this as we are huge believers in education.
Dropped off our second child this week, and now only have one at home. Taught my first class for the semester last night myself. We’re going away for the weekend as well, which should help --but I really miss both my older kids.
I don’t have this problem, but the thing I have been wondering about is how do people who have one left at home keep from loving that child to death, if that makes any sense Seems like one would be tempted to just double down on all the things one wish one could still do with ‘gone-child’.
Congrats @Momzie.
@NorthernMom61, Hope you’re still feeling up and getting settled in Asia.
I can report, at eight days out, that post drop-off still feels so much better than anticipated, and getting better.
I have two sons, 3 years apart. It did make it easier having the 2nd one home, but I don’t think we behaved any different with him…he was SO busy. What I did, was not take him for granted.
It’s been one week today for me since post-drop off. I have been busy, but still feel that sense of loss and sadness, although not as great as I had anticipated. I still get teary from time to time at odd moments. I passed the H.S. yesterday and that set off a few tears, but it only lasts a few seconds thankfully. Then a Donna Summer song came on, and it reminded me of when I went to college (it was popular then), and how my life has turned out since I left home and then thinking about time passing made me cry. Sheesh…never thought I’d be crying to Donna Summer.
What has helped is we have been communicating with him this week and we will see him Saturday. Academics are harder for him, and he and I decided it would help to have a second pair of eyes looking over his syllabi, plus we need to return a book using our CC…plus…we will be out of the country and won’t see him for 4 weeks (can I think of anymore excuses to see him?) I promised him we’d only be there a few hours and leave. He’s totally fine with it.
@evermom1 -
I jokingly said to D2 who was 6 years younger than D1- well for the first years D1 was an only child, then you were born. now that D2 is off to college you get to be an only child. And I’m watching you.
We are trying to get kid #1 out the door on Friday so the empty nest hasn’t hit yet. RIght now I’m so tired of everyone else’s logistics that a weekend with only my own stuff to think about sounds great!